Vexed and Perplexed.

My head hurts. I don't know why, but I think someone must be drugging me. But when? Was it slipped into the pineapple banana smoothie that I made this morning? Perhaps it was that frozen dinner that I purchased from Kroger- did someone unseal the sealed container and slip in some rohipnol? or worse asenic laced with cyanide? In small doses I don't think any of them can kill you, but this headache is about to do me in.

The next question is...

WHO IS TRYING TO KILL ME!

Could it be Booch? My smarmy little roommate that looks suprisingly similar to a Koala Bear. I like to call him Koala Booch to his face- he is easily annoyed, but surprisingly fun to hang out with. At first I thought we were going to fight, but now I think he could be the long lost side kick- Eddo and the Amazing Koala Booch. We could be crime fighters or something, it would be fun.

Possibly Jimmy is trying to kill me. He has always been EXTREMELY jealous of my gloriously brown skin. No matter how much tanning, or sunless tanning he does, he cannot obtain the Mocha Latte brown complexion that I was blessed with. Few people on this earth are gifted with tri-raciality, but I am. So maybe it is Jimbo? A line I remember from Silence of the Lambs went something like this-
"What is it that you Envy Clarice?" (Hannibal Lecter)
"I don't know" (Clarice)
"The things you see everyday" (Hannibal Lecter)

So cut to Jimmy seeing me everyday, hating every moment that he sees me because it reminds him of the complexion that he can never obtain, and it drives him crazy. He cannot take it anymore, the wound has fetered to an uncontrollable level and now he desires to be rid of me and my creamy mocha latte self once and for all. And so maybe he poisoned the drinking water- he always uses the water purifier, but he knows I don't so it is likely that he snuck down to the water plant and laced it with Gallons of Ma Huang or Ephedra knowing that I already take these deadly diet drugs, but increasing the dose will increase my risk of a heart attack and he can be rid of me and no one would be the wiser...

Perhaps it is DW. He has no reason to be rid of me, he is enamored by me. So it can't be him.

Maybe Luker? Nope- he is not diabolical enough to scheme up a plan to kill me, besides, if he was going to do it, he would probably do something to my brake line on my truck- at least my head wouldn't be hurting.

So it must be Booch or Jimmy.