Flying by the seat of my pants

I sometimes do things that I know I shouldn't do, just to get a reaction out of people. Once, I told my boss that I was a bit of a reactionist- it sounded like a good term at the time, I later told him that I was high-maintenance but that I was worth it- who says stuff like that? I guess I do.

In my psychology class that I took a long time ago, a prof told us about a psychology student that allowed a construction worker live with her so she could annoy him. She then would study the affects of her nagging- and write about it- he finally went crazy and killed her. This is an extreme case of what I have. I like to do things, sometimes just to see what other people will do, how they will respond- because life is too short to take it so seriously.

I like to be observant and watchful, I like to live in a sort of non-reality where there are no consequences for my actions. It is a type of egomania, but a very mild case I assure you.

All of this being said, I apologize if I have posted stuff here that you may have found shocking, or vulgar, or crass- I would like to say that is not my nature, because deep down inside I am really nice. However, over the years I realized that the saying is true, Nice guys do finish last. So I thought that I would start being a little meaner, I would thicken my skin, roughen myself up around the edges, let my hair down, loosen up a bit- all of these things are good things- but I should not let it overshadow what I really stand for at the core. Integrity, chivalry, honor, justice, loyalty- and love.

My buddy Alan will probably read this and say- why in the world do you go on these diatribes?- and I would say to him, why in the world do you care? It's my website, it's my life.