The Dreaded Woodsy

I have been doing Yoga for almost two weeks now and I love it, but I am getting bored with my two Yoga DVD's so last night I decided to take a walk around 9:00PM.

One thing I like about Yoga is that I can do it in my house in my underwear if I want and I don't have to worry about dirtying up a lot of clothes. Don't act so surprised, guys do lots of things like that when they live alone.

So, I got out the gym clothes and strapped on the running shoes, grabbed the MP3 player and headed out for a walk. The weather was nice and in Plano I live close to a baseball field and some tennis courts that are all lit up, plus the area has plenty of street lights so it makes for a pleasant outing.

I was moving at a rather leisurly pace making a trip around my block. My best guess is that it is around 3.568 miles to make the complete trip. Well, I was about 3/4th's of the way into my little excursion when it suddenly hit me- FIRE BELLY! It comes out of nowhere, roiling and boiling in your stomach at the most unlikely times. At this point I felt like I better start running, but that would only make the probem worse, I started scoping out places just in case I need to make an emergency pit stop.

I noticed a large bunch of trees ahead, I looked back 200 yards to the McDonalds, Could I make it? No. I looked ahead to the Gas station a quarter mile away, again, no way to make it, I looked to the bushes ahead, 30 feet away, I looked around for any people, but they were all at the baseball game in the distance, the bright lights coming from the fields lit up the area brightly, but the bushes and trees were so tall that they created a nice dark shadow.

I walked around the bushes and realized that they were hiding an old abondoned house. The house was pink brick, or it looked like a pinkish brick where the light hit it. The back patio door was open, I wondered, Could there be a toilet inside?- well, I figured even if there was one, then it would probably be out of order- so what to do? I dashed into a dark corner, pulled down the shorts and did what all of our ancestors used to do- I took a woodsy. In the darkness I noticed a bike about 6 feet away from me, could someone be close by? Perhaps the house wasn't abandoned? At this point, I didn't care. 3 minutes and minus 2 socks later- something Mark Haverkorn taught me, I was back on track, and feeling much better, albeit a little embarrassed.


I decided that maybe I should stick to doing Yoga in the house, socks make expensive toilet paper.