When it's more than just "A Phase"

The other day I told someone that I was looking at houses to buy and they said, "Oh, so you are going through one of those phases again..." I didn't appreciate the comment. It implied that I am always going through phases-and maybe I am. But isn't everyone?

I know that I have goals and dreams- lots of them. And I like to share them with people, but now I realize that I am going to have to just keep them to myself if every time I share I get a patronizing look, or a condescending, "Oh, you are going through one of those phases again?"

I don't know why that statement has eaten at me so much, but it has. It has nibbled away at my insides like a cancer and left a raw spot that is sore to the touch. HOW DARE ANYONE SUGGEST THAT I AM WISHY WASHY- that is what the spot screams when I touch it. HOW DARE ANYONE SUGGEST THAT I DON'T FOLLOW THROUGH!!! I AM LIVID.

I have not been historical in quite some time- I have had no reason to be. I thought that I had grown out of being petty and holding on to things- but I guess not- I have regressed since my move to Plano- not much, but perhaps a little.

So now when you read my website and it is not about my dream to write a second novel, my plans to redesign each bedroom in my new house after a season and then to call it the Four Seasons. When I am not mentioning the new girls that I am interested in, the one I met in person- not online- you'll know why.

I won't tell tales about love gained and lost, I won't mention any ailments like possibly needing back surgery, or kidney problems, or toothaches. Rather, I will keep it on the shallow glossy side talking only about trips and people and places and politics and things that aren't really about me- cause if it's not about me then you can ridicule it all you like.

But who knows how long that will last? It seems that right now I am just going through a "Bitchy" phase.