Sideways

Someone recommended to me the independent film- Sideways. I was told that it was a "Must See". The critics were raving about it, Rotten Tomatoes gave it a 97% freshness rating. So why did I hate it... sort-of?

10 Things I hated about Sideways

1. The main characters were ugly and hard to look at.

2. It seemed to drag on forever at the beginning, so much so that I actually got up out of my seat and looked around to see what else was showing nearby hoping to catch something that had just started.

3. Infidelity. I can't stand so see anyone cheating on their mate, it just breaks my heart.

4. Porn - I was totally caught off gaurd when towards the end you see this rather rotund couple "doing it". The scene is long and it shows male frontal nudity, which I have found appeals to no one - except maybe homosexuals, but trust me, this nudity was so awful it would make a gay man straight.

5. I don't drink wine. This movie was more about wine than anything else. Perhaps if you are a wine afincianado or wine connoisseur then maybe you would find this movie more enjoyable.

6. Pot Smoking. What type of adults still smoke pot- when they have children in the other room!? Are we still in the 60's, am I out of touch with reality?

7. Boring. The are parts of this film that are really good, but they are so few that they cannot save the movie, it drags on, and on, and on.

8. Paul Giamatti's character steals from his mother. In one scene he goes upstairs and takes about 1,000 dollars out of her sock drawer while she is downstairs eating dinner. Can these two characters be any more pathetic? One cheats on his fiance, the other one steals from his mother and is just overall depressing- I am still trying to figure out why the critics found it to be so rewarding.

9. Thomas Haden Church - I found his character disturbing. Yes, both guys are really realistic, but in the end, Thomas goes back to his fiance and she is none the wiser about his sexual meanderings and the other guy ends up with this amazing woman that he met that never in a million years would have fallen for him.

10. When I left I did not feel good. I wanted my 6.25 back, and those two hours of my life.

I will say this. The movie is directed well, and the acting is superb. The soundtrack was a little too polka folk jazz for me, there were times when this music was playing and I actually wanted to say, "Um... can we turn that off?" I think they only had one song for the entire film and they just kept it on repeat.

So, don't go see Sideways. Or if you do go and see it, and you like it, please explain to me WHY you liked it.