American Idol Worship

The show has become a god unto many. Each week millions of cult followers flock to their televisions practically bowing before it in anticipation of what will come – contestants singing for a chance to be the next American Idol. After the show people then call up and vote for their favorite contestant repeatedly sacrificing their valuable time and money in hopes that the one they have chosen will win.

This is the fourth season of American Idol and with it we have all seen how diverse, tone deaf, and outrageous America really is. From the Auditions to the finale many Americans find themselves glued to the tube absorbing every detail and then rehashing those details the next day with co-workers, family, and friends- myself included.

It’s not only the contestants that we tune in to see, no, we also watch to hear what the judges have to say. Paula Abdul never really has anything to say, but she is a celebrity with hits like, “Rush, Rush”, “Opposites Attract”, and “Straight Up”. She can sing, she’s a performer, she’s pretty and she’s sweet. You can’t help but love her, but every now and then you want her to stop being so nice and just speak her mind.

No one had ever really heard of Randy Jackson and little has been said on the show about his music credibility. He produced 4 songs for Mariah Carey and co-wrote two of them. He was a bassist on records for Madonna, Elton John, Whitney Houston, Journey and Aretha Franklin – musically the man is gifted, but charismatically he isn’t. Unfortunately Randy Jackson’s verbal repertoire seems to be limited to “”Dawg, and “You Know”. Trying to appeal to America’s desire to only see beautiful people on television, Jackson underwent the popular gastric bypass surgery and as we have all noticed he has shed quite a few pounds. Jackson’s attire has also been a bit mismatched with his overall image. Flamboyant designer shirts worn mostly by smaller men like Ryan Seacrest are constantly seen on Jackson. Large pink paisley and white prints, pink flowers, and even pink stripes have been worn by Jackson. I don’t know much about fashion, but if people had to call in and vote for who was the worst dressed judge- it would be Randy Jackson.

And now we look to Simon Cowell who started recording music in the 1970’s. Cowell is best known for being rude, smug, and arrogant. As much as I appreciate his honesty and directness, I often find that he speaks out of turn when he calls contestants fat. Uh hem, isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black? Simon always wears those same tight shirts that I guess are supposed to show off his physique but instead reveal his flabby chest and spaghetti string arms. I only point out his inadequacies because he is so quick to point them out in others. He needs to critque the music and stop telling people they need to lose weight.

Overall I love the show and my pick to win is Anwar “Milli Vanilli” Robinson, after hearing him turn “What a wonderful World” into melodic magic I can’t help but pick him as the winner. Each week he has sung the oddest songs and each time he has OWNED them.

Who do you think will win?