“You need to stop eating so fast” and other things you should never say to Eddo

I went to dinner Saturday night with my Russian friend Maksim. If you are new to Posted Note then you may not know that Maksim works where I work, we live in the same apartment complex and we work out together. Maksim has been awesome at helping me get back into shape and I really appreciate his consistency and commitment in the gym – it is rare that you find someone to workout with that doesn’t cancel on you often, however, sometimes he is a real pain in the ass.

To make a long story short, Maksim is always telling me what I should eat, how I should eat it, how much to workout, what pills to take, what pills not to take, how much water to drink, how many reps to do, etc. For the most part I don’t mind, it’s like having a personal trainer around 24x7 – but when we went to dinner on Saturday night after playing racquetball he made the mistake of telling me, “You need to stop eating so fast”.

I looked at him like, "YOU FOOL" and sarcastically said, “Thanks” trying not to reveal my shock at his stupidity. And then he had the gall, no the AUDACITY to say, “No, you need to chill out, you are eating way too fast.”

Let me just tell you that I almost threw him through the big screen TV that we were watching. First of all, What kind of guy tells another guy to slow down when he is eating? Secondly, I didn’t even want to go out and eat, I told him I was going to stay home and relax because it was 9:30 before we went out to eat, and thirdly – I wasn’t even eating all that fast – I was eating normal paced. He just wanted me to eat Russian style where you take 2-3 hours to finish a meal- well let's get this straight - THIS IS AMERICA BUDDY, AND HERE WE EAT FAST!!!

So, I just sat there fuming and not eating, he had ruined my appetite. When I get to a certain point of madness there is a fine line between sanity and homicidal. I am so easy going all the time, but this was the straw that finally broke the camels back.

I can't go into detail here about what I said because I used a few choice words that I am not proud of, but DANG IT, sometimes people need to shut up. And then Maksim makes the mistake of telling me that sometimes I am "too sensitive". The gloves, Oh dear God in Heaven I almost brought out the fists of fury... that is the second thing you NEVER say to Eddo and I had to set him straight on the difference between being too sensitive and having the crap nagged out of you by someone constantly telling you how to live your life.

So tell me, when was the last time a good friend said something inappropriate to you and you almost killed them?