Guys Do Like to Shop
There seems to be a myth going around that guys don't like to shop, well, I just checked and... yep! I am still a guy. And I do indeed like to shop, it just depends on what you are shopping for...
I like to get cleaned up when I go shopping. I put on some nice jeans, a shirt that fits just right, put on some good cologne - and then I like to accessorize. Sometimes I like to drape just one blonde on my right arm, but sometimes I feel the need for a blonde and a brunette. Sometimes two leggy brunettes will do the trick, but if I am really feeling wild I like two red-heads a latino.
Ensemble complete, I move with confidence like a lion to the lair - in this case the lair happens to be the mall. You can always find plenty of women in Bath and Body Works, the shoe section at Nordstrom's, and anywhere in ZGallerie or Pottery Barn.
I enjoy to shop from a large selection of ladies and so I find that the best places here in the Dallas area are StoneBriar Mall, Northpark Mall, and the 3 story Crate and Barrel on Knox St. - oh, and ALWAYS at La Madeline.
I storm these places with casual confidence quickly sizing up the competition, which I rarely find, and then I start zoning in on my prey. I mean really that is what it comes down to isn't it? Women want to be hunted. Not literally, I mean, there is a fine line between playful chasing and downright stalking, but I know this - women like men to be confident and to do the pursuing - I picked up that tidbit of information from the multiple Song of Solomon conferences, having two older sisters, having graduated from Texas Women's University, a myriad of first hand experiences, and by reading "Attraction for Dummies".
I don't try to use any special lines when it comes to meeting someone new, I just say Hi, give them "the look" and they normally fall into my arms as if I had held a handkerchief soaked in chloroform to their nose. I think at the age of 29 the girls I am impressed by are not impressed by phony lines or reindeer games, nope, they like a good sense of humore, sincerity, dark skin, tall, great smile, muscular arms and chest, and a big wallet. I tell you, I am the complete package.
So ladies, guys do like to shop, we like to browse the selections, so be sure to always be looking your best and smelling your best.
Currently I am ready to settle down and I am in the market to make the purchase of a lifetime...
27 Comments:
EDDIE! (can you hear me shouting?!?)
because i know you, this post was HILARIOUS.
i am sure there will be some feminist coming in with arms swinging, telling you that women are not objects and yada yada yada...
but i loved what you had to say - and i like the picture, too! :)
"I just say Hi, give them 'the look' and they normally fall into my arms as if I had held a handkerchief soaked in chloroform to their nose."
You are the MAN Eddie... lol. In regard to the "purchase of a lifetime..." Make sure you choose the right one because:
1. She won't be like a car that you can trade in after 50,000 miles....
2. She will be like purchasing a house where you will only notice the flaws... (like not enough storage... bathroom and kitchen are too small... not enough bedrooms... etc.) after you have purchased her and it's too late to negotiate...
3. The Purchase of a lifetime is EXPENSIVE and that wallet full of cash will be full of receipts soon...
BUT
4. Boy is she worth every penny.
#4 was good, Ben. I'm still waiting for the cookie recipe, Eddo!
OH! I almost forgot... who's CLARISSA??
lol.
Ben fill me in on this negotiation part of the "transaction". Do both parties bring a list of items on which to discuss and do you rank them in order of importance? I'm confused.
OMG! I cannot believe you posted this! LOL. So THAT's why my hubby no longer likes going to the mall with me; he's already done shopping! :)
Eddo,
Sounds better than the on-line meet market you were researching a while back. Make sure to watch out for the underaged mall rats and the overaged bored mall moms. I think you need to add a "funny meter" to your site so we can all just check in and rate the daily offering!
P.S.
Ben,
I think you have fodder for quite a blog entry here...I'll have to ask my spouse if he's ever had buyer's remorse? AF
Katie-
Negotiating... Isn't that really what dating is all about... figuring out what you are willing to accept vs. what you aren't willing to put up with... you can always back out during the "negotiating" process.
By the way, I did have a list of 13 things I was looking for and yes they were ranked in order of importance... so I wouldn't settle until I found the "right" one.
Worked for me.
Anne - I am sure your husband didn't have buyer's remorse, on the contrary, I am sure your value has increased, I have seen your picture, any man would be proud to have you on his arm.
Vanessa - Here is that cookie recipe - it may be halved. These are hands down some of the best cookies I have ever made, they aren't from the origianal Neiman Marcus cookie, they are from the Urban Legend -
2 cups butter
4 cups flour
2 tsp. soda
2 cups sugar
5 cups blended oatmeal**
24 oz. chocolate chips
2 cups brown sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 8 oz. Hershey Bar (grated)
4 eggs
2 tsp. baking powder
3 cups chopped nuts (your choice)
2 tsp. vanilla
Cream the butter and both sugars. Add eggs and vanilla; mix together with flour, oatmeal, salt, baking powder, and soda. Add chocolate chips, Hershey Bar and nuts. Roll into balls and place two inches apart on a cookie sheet. Bake for 10 minutes at 375 degrees. Makes 112 cookies.
** measure oatmeal and blend in a blender to a fine powder
Robin- you hit it right on, I love it when people interpret my posts precisely the way I intended them.
I can't wait to try these cookies. Thanks, Eddo!
Eddie - try www.christiancafe.com.
That's where I met my husband when I decided I was ready for my purchase of the lifetime. You can see us at heidillydoo.blogspot.com.
Here's our testimonial at Christian Cafe. We're the 4th couple down:
http://www.christiancafe.com/guests/testimonials/august_2003.jsp?
Oops - I'll try that once more:
http://www.christiancafe.com/guests/testimonials
/august_2003.jsp?
Whoa.....whoa......whoa, I was confused at the women as object's rule.....when was that law passed?
Thanks, Eddo, for the compliment. The photo that Ed is referring to is at www.annefittenglenn.com (speaking of objectification). Ummmm, Genuine, you're right...but I decided not to go off on a feminist diatribe. Let Eddo have his fun (and funny). His heart's in the right place.
Thanks Anne for coming to my defense - you know me so well for someone that has never met me!
WHAT?? Since when did women stop being Objects? (Objects of Eddie's affection that is...)
lol.
You are so funny Eddie--I love coming here but about these purchases you men make, have you ever thought that the women might be out making their own purchases? You see my poor husband never stood a chance when I decided he was the one. It was just like that car I had to have or that dress that just came in and I saw there was no turning back...he was MINE---so be careful there are more like me out there of course if you check with him he has no complaints, I just tell him from time to time he better be careful he is getting a little old and I might need to trade him in ---yep just like I would a car----lol no after 26 soon to be 27 years he must be a keeper.
Is anyone else in love with Anne?
very interesting sque on shopping.... hee hee... if one loves to shop does this mean they can be a collector?
Not a thing wrong with shopping! LOL And if you do it right - you will never have "buyer's remorse!"
Genuine, Eddo, and my other admirers...it's AF or Anne-Fitten--one of those weird, inbred, Southern, double names. The Fitten part actually was a brilliant marketing move on my parents' part as it makes me eminently Googlable. Of course, having everything I write on-line under my real name is questionable at times. I have to be more circumspect than I would like--although with the help of you--my fellow bloggers--I'm feeling a "what the f**k" breakthrough coming on. Oh, are we still talking about Eddo's post?
Anne Fitten! You are a riot! And readers, don't read too much into the f**k comment, it is sort of an inside joke... Anne Fitten doesn't have a potty mouth - at least not online...
And to set the record straight, I am not in Love with Anne Fitten as Genuine implied in one of his comments... Do I like Anne Fitten? yes, but I like a lot of people and if saying that they are attractive means that you love someone then I am in trouble because I tell people they are attractive all the time.
Sorry dude I wasn't implying anything other than the fact that I think I'm in love with her!!! ;)
THAT - is hilarious. That was the furthest thing from my mind, I was totally confused - thanks for the clarification.
Hey, I was assuming you are all in love with me--Old married woman with offspring graciously accepts any and all compliments about her looks, sparkling personality, wit, creativity, writing skills, etc., etc.
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home