Jude Law Squared

Closer - starring Jude Law, Julia Roberts, Natalie Portman and Clive Owen (thanks Katie, that was much faster than looking up his name).

I actually thought this was going to be a decent movie. I didn't really read many reviews or even the back cover of the movie, I just thought, "Hey, it's got these great actors and it got great reviews and so it must be, well, GREAT!" Wrong Song Donkey Kong. This movie is an emotional pornographic adulterous nightmare. Sure the acting is superb and the story is realistic, but my word, it was like watching Satan take four peoples lives, devour them whole and then spit them back out in a vomitous mess of deceit, selfishness, lust and self-loathing - a mess that could never, no matter how much soap or time was used, be cleaned up.

I stopped watching halfway through the movie and just listened while I worked on my computer. My back to the screen my ears were still assaulted with such graphic information that I wondered if I had not possibly rented something rated X instead of rated R.

I DO NOT recommend this movie and I think it is a travesty that American critics praise and glorify such depravity.


Alfie - starring Jude Law - Again - Nikki(Elliot) Johnson's Celebrity Crush

The reason I like Jude Law is because of his voice. He narrates the film, "Lemony Sniket's Series of Unfortunate Events" the whole time I watched that movie I didn't realize it was him talking, but I kept thinking to myself, "I really like this guys voice". It is very soothing and the British accent is pleasing to my auditory palate.

"Alfie" as a movie is unfortunately comparable to "Closer". Alfie, played by Law, is a player, a heartbreaker, and a philanderer. I cannot applaude a man of his caliber, the only thing to his credit are his looks which are God-given and his ability to attract hapless women that fall victim to his alluring charisma and animal magnetism. Yes, he's good looking. Yes, He's sweet. But in the end he is a non-commital heartbreaker.

The ending of the movie is anti-climatic and when I was done watching it I felt hollowed out like one of those chocolate Easter Bunny's, bereft, empty, and unsatisfied.

I award this movie no points and may God have mercy on Alfie's soul.

Sin City - Jesus please wash me white as snow... after seeing this movie I need a ritualistic cleansing that involves an ocean of holy water. Heaven Help us.

I went in blindly like a lamb lead to the slaughter. I didn't read many reviews of Sin City. I have never even heard of Frank Miller, and I do a lot of reading, but I have never been into comic books.

Visually this movie is stunning. Vivid images are still crystal clear in my head, some of them I wish I could erase. The overall story is unbelievable, I still cannot believe that they made this into a movie - in one scene you see Elijah would with his arms and legs cut off sitting there, still alive. The special effects make Wood appear to be cartoonish and since the film is mostly in black and white it is not as horrible and disgusting as it would have been if we had seen it in full-on color. I mean, who thinks up this kind of freakish horror? I should have walked out, but I didn't, I stayed and allowed my soul to be subjected to every gruesome detail.


Desperate Housewives - I want to hear feedback people - Last night could you believe Gabrielle at the funeral!!! OMW.

The Great "My Cadillac Fell Off the Trailer" Incident on Saturday.

Okay, this was a bit of a teaser...

I had to load my cadillac onto a trailer I rented from Uhaul on Saturday. I am not good at anything involving trailers being pulled behind moving vehicles and Saturday was no exception. I tried unsuccessfully to get the car loaded onto the ramp the first time, so I backed it down. I tried again moving WAY TOO FAST and the right side of the car caught on the side of the trailer and again thwarted my attempts to get this lumbering 2 ton vehicle onto the trailer.

On my third attempt I clearly missed the mark again and as I was backing down the car fell off the ramps and the front bumper caught on the trailer. It was stuck, jutting out into the street at the apartment complex. I couldn't get the car to budge and so I had to call my dad. I told him he needed to bring a jack so we could jack the car up and un-stick the bumper.

My dad lives an hour away and while I was waiting for him to get there Maksim (the Russian) shows up and asks me if I need help. I explain the situation and with his help and the help of his 2 Russian friends we unlodge the car from the trailer AND Maksim drove the car up onto the trailer superbly on his first try. It was as if in his first life he drove cars onto trailers for a living. I almost hugged him and his friends I was so happy. Driving the car up on the trailer was something I shouldn't have attempted alone, but at the time Maksim wasn't home and I thought it would be easy... my mistake.

And, Friday night while not watching Closer, I created these designs for Ben from MIM.

Spring
Fall

The first one is for Spring and the second is for Fall. I am still trying to come up with something for summer and the ability to choose which template you want. Ben, if you send me that site that has this feature it will help me to figure out how to do it.