A Series of Unfortunate Events
Unfortunate Event #1
Last night I had to do laundry- unfortunately. I procrastinated until the late hour of 10 o'clock. I didn't have any quarters so I had to drive up to the car wash and use their change machine to get my quarters. I thought I only had 2 loads of laundry so I only got 5 dollars in change.
Unfortunate Event #2
I get back to my house and take the laundry to the Laundromat at the apartment and realize I have 4 loads not 2. I think to myself, I can just let the extra clothes dry by laying them around the house and putting the fan on them.
Unfortunate Event #3
The clothes seem to have multiplied while in their washers and I realize that there is no way I can drape 10 towels and 2 other full loads of laundry around my house and expect them to fan-dry.
Unfortunate Event #4
I go back to the car wash to use their change machine again. I get out of the car and something BAT-SIZED flies into my head. I freak a beak and swing my hand up to swat at the large flying something that has launched an assault on my head. I totally forgot the my keys are dangling from this long chain that I use to keep them on. When I bring my hand up to swat the bat-sized something, the keys arc with the same force killed Goliath when David hurled one of his five smooth stones. The only difference was that A. My head is much harder than Goliaths. B. The keys are much sharper than a smooth stone and they cut into my scalp and caused me to bleed- not profusely, but enough that when it clotted it left this chocolate chip sized clot on the back of my head.
Unfortunate Event #5
I go back to the laundry mat and in the process of loading quarters into the machine I put more quarters into the dryer that I have already started, sure it's only 75 cents, but that is almost enough to buy one song from iTunes.
Unfortunate Event #6
I finally finish the laundry at midnight and I am so keyed up from all these previous events that I can't fall asleep. Sleep finally visits me at almost 2 in the morning.
Unfortunate Event #7
I had to get up this morning and come to work after getting much less than my usual 9 hours of sleep.
So tell me, how was your evening?
40 Comments:
Unfortunate Events #1-3
Jessica was laughing
Unfortunate Event #4
Jessica was gasping, "oh my gosh!" while breathing sharply inward and cringing at the pain you must have endured. and then Jessica chuckled, thinking to herself that she would have cussed if keys hit her in the head.
Unfortunate Event #5-7
Jessica is shaking her head and feeling sorry for Eddie! :)
Now, I will tell you about my evening, which pales in comparison to yours:
*7:00 - eat dinner
*7:30 - go on a walk with Roger, argue because he tries to make me run. AS IF i can do that. i survived, but only in EXTREMELY short bursts, and those short bursts always ended in my using the next TEN minutes to hyperventilate/catch my breath.
*8:30 - get home, watch Lifetime Original movie "Homeless to Harvard".
*10:00 - inspired to become an intellectual, i begin reading US Weekly.
*10:15 - Bianca calls me, we chat for 15 minutes
*10:30 - I go to bed, and lay there freezing until 11:00, whereupon I put on my trademark wool hiking socks and go get an extra blanket.
*11:30 - I fell asleep.
The End. :)
You left out the most important part - what did you have for dinner?!!
And, I love the picture of you and Roger that shows up now when you comment - it is a great photo with a beautiful sunset in the background and the sunset was just nice enough to coordinate with yall's clothes! Pretty!
Sorry you had a sucky night dude. I attended a Plano City Council meeting(required for college course), had dinner at Waffle House(surrounded by a bevy of white trash), and went to bed. Not nearly as exciting as yours.
Eddo,
That was great!! Sorry that I find such amusement in your misery but it is totally funny! I have been attacked by a bat once. It was the middle of the night in my bed and swooping my face!!! I also had to square off with one in my basement. I was victor but yuck!!! so I can relate to the panic you were feeling as you were being attacked! My evening was feeding the kiddo's, (Grilled cheese sandwiches and curly fries) blogging, getting the kids to bed, and then waiting for Ben to come home! Not near the excitment yours held.... other than When I wrote my first blog, blogger ate it and I had to do it over again.
By the way....side note.... where's me in the fishing picture. I have been ice and open water fishing since I was born and my husband didn't even know how great it was until he married into my family... little miffed here... WINK WINK! I want equal opportunity on our page!.... (By the way it is a great looking page)
I hope tonight will go easier on you!
Syd
"I get out of the car and something BAT-SIZED flies into my head. I freak a beak and swing my hand up to swat at the large flying something that has launched an assault on my head. I totally forgot the my keys are dangling from this long chain that I use to keep them on. When I bring my hand up to swat the bat-sized something, the keys arc with the same force killed Goliath when David hurled one of his five smooth stones."
ARE.YOU.KIDDING.ME???
Wow... I haven't laughed that hard in ages. This story tops it all... you are the funniest person I know by far.
HILARIOUS! (Still don't get the freak a beak thing... but FUNNY.)
Thanks Ben, I love it that you can get a laugh out of my pain!
And, I know why you didn't post about what you did last night - Syd already informed us of that with a double (Wink... Wink...) No wonder you guys have 3 kids and one on the way!
i am laughing out loud, intermittantly checking to make sure i am alone in my classroom.
i can picture you impaling your skull with keys on a lanyard in the dark parking lot of a car wash.
somewhere out there, someone saw you and is posting it on their own blog today. "you won't believe the freaky self-mutilating guy i saw at the car wash last night..."
Eddo, you are SO going to get me busted at work for reading blogs on work time. I was trying SO hard not to laugh out loud, and all I managed to do was STILL laugh out loud and then have tears in my eyes from trying to conceal the laughter. If I start looking like a raccoon from my mascara, it's all your fault!!!
Man, this is good stuff. Thanks SO much for sharin', Eddo.
oh, eddie. how could i have left out what we had for dinner?!?
breaded chicken, edamame, and strawberries with cool whip! yummmmm!
OMG. You are hilarious. I do stuff like smacking myself in the head with keys all the time. I.E., last week, the dog jumped in the car when I was running late for the kids' swim lessons. I go to grab him and bash the front of my skull on the edge of the car door. (My excuse was that I was wearing a baseball cap and didn't see said door). I let out several curse words as I jerked the dog out of the car. Then I hear a small voice: "Mommy, did that hurt?"
I did nothing interesting last night but lie around and sweat. I seem to have the never-ending fever virus. My spouse called our doctor this morning only to be told that it could last up to two weeks! My temp's at 99.7 at the moment and I'm feeling almost human again.
Sorry about your evening, Ed. I hate Laudromats.
Eddie-
To set the record straight... Last night I did not "drink from the cystern of my youth" as the bible puts it... I was in class until 8:30... had a meeting with my group until nine and then worked on a report until 11:15. I got home at about 11:45. Fixed Sydney's post... and went to bed. Uneventful. Now if you were asking about the night before... ;)
Ben, you are a riot!
And tell Syd I saw her comments about wanting a girl fisher-lady on your site... tell her Eddo says, "Girls don't fish, they need to be in the kitchen cooking the fish!"
I will make a mast head with her standing over a fry-daddy...
LOL. You tell her... I'm not sleepin on the couch. lol.
(She is a great cook though... and that WOULD be a awesome template.)
Speaking of which, I had a go around with my past designer... as she was talking copyright and legal action... had to set her straight though.
Eddie! I'm appalled! GIRLS SO FISH. In fact, I'm going fishing on Sunday. It's crappie season. So there! Hmmph!
::sticking my tongue out at you!::
Of course I was kidding about Syd, she says she was the one that taught you how to fish! And my sister always out-caught me when it came to fishin'...
About the go-round with Bella, why would she care if you paid for it? If someone paid me I could care less what they did with my templates... I am disappointed in Laceygg.blogspot.com I did her template and she posted it and I didn't even get a shout out!
And Jes, I was totally kidding about women cooking - I said that just to get a rise out of the ladies... :)
To set the record straight again... Sydney did not teach me to fish... AND I had gone fishing before I met Sydney... just not as much.
And women do, like most things, cook better than guys.
(not sure if I really believe the "like most things" But it sounded good!) LOL.
I women should be in the kitchen as well eddie!
...and yes, I am also saying it to get a rise out of the ladies. It's too easy to get them riled up.
I think ... that is.
Hello - just wanted to pop by and let everyone know I'm still alive and only partially buried under paperwork
As we Southern Women say, "Bless your heart!" I haven't had a night like that in a long time! Nothing worth reporting here, but wanted to say I feel for you, buddy!
Oh my goodness! Let me calm myself as I am shaking from the uncontrollable laughter. I know it's not nice to laugh at people when they are having a hard time...but it really is funny. Right? No worries, I had quite the night too. Fell up the stairs at the college, in front of a large group of people might I add. Not only did I get laughed at, but a huge chunk of my shin bone and skin is now ground into the stairs. So I feel your pain. Oh, I want to thank you again for doing my template design. You are a peach!
I have to ask, how is the bat-sized-thing you swatted at? Did you get? Kill it? Make it fall? You should have captured it and had it stuffed, hung it on your wall, and boated to all what a brave soul you are. Look on the bright side, your laundry is all washed and dried and you won’t have to do it again for at least a week!
KT is alive! Yeah!
Hi Aunt V!
OMG Lacey, OUCH!
Hi The Staff Sargeants Wife!
I'm off to the gym!
of course, you never said what that object was. so how do we really know it was there?
for all we know, you were hallucinating. ;)
Oh, the bat-sized thing I have now realized was a small banshee... we have those here in Plano. Yep, it was a banshee.
Eddie! I read your comment about me not giving you a shout out! You must have checked my blog right before I posted the shoutout....because I changed the template, added blogs and an unkymood, and then did your shout out! I hope I didn't hurt your feelings! But just so you know...I would give you 100,000 shout outs! You SOOOOOO deserve them!
Eddo, Eddo, Eddo......*Shakeing my head with disappointment*
I am ashamed and appalled at that comment! I WANT a web site showing me Catching the Fish, Filleting the fish, and then FRYING the fish...... I am not only good at angling.... but the filleting and FRYING as well.... ask BEN! Said he hated fish until I cooked for him...... I can even Fillet a fish while leaving the bones out so that you don't have to choke on them.... (A trick my dad taught me) But with you Eddo, I may just LEAVE THEM IN THERE AND WATCH YOU CHOKE!! If you are going to have me frying the fish you had better give me kuddo's for the rest as well..... Don't MAKE me come down there and beat you!
:)
Since KATIE QUIT BLOGGING... I must take her place...
Eddie, you SO just got hated on...
Ben
(Yeah, that's right... that's my wife.)
LOL! Syd did just hate on me, I love it! Sometimes you just get tired of people telling you are hot, and sexy, and gorgeous and you just want someone to be real with you, and tell you like it is, "you're hideous,you're goofy, and I hope you choke on a fish bone!"
That Syd is a real fireball, I will see what I can come up with, woman fishing, cleaning fish, cooking them, kids all running amok, all while being prego!
Perhaps I should just do a caricature of Syd as Super Woman...
Make sure you get me in there Fishing somewhere... lol. Cause to really set the record straight, Sydney hasn't been fishing for about 8 years.
Ben
P.S. Sydney said put yourself in the corner "hacking" on a fish bone... ;)
If my husband be so HORNEY and we didn't have almost 4 kids.... I would be fishing... but some people...aka myself cannot just do what we want when we want to and take care of these kids we have had.... ummmm... hubby, that would be directed at YOU!
Who's the HORN DOG?? Likely story... I'm not buyin' it. Don't any of you believe it EITHER! ;)
Ben
Clerical fix here... "wouldn't be so horney" I would have caught that mistake but my husband was kicking me off so he could send his response.... impatient isn't he...
In addtion,.... no my husband is never horney. All of our kids were stork delivered.....*sarcasm dripping*
Which brings us full circle on this argument... impatient Sydney?? I think not...
I am just a patient fisherman... out in the boat where I should be. ;)
Ben
i have a mental picture of B and S (appropriate initials guys!) standing over one computer, shoving each other out of the chair so they can have a conversation WITH EACH OTHER on eddie's website.
This is extreme communicating in a marriage...
Hee Hee Ha Ha. I've gotten my blog fix on this post and the subsequent comments alone. I promise I will be back with a vengance as soon as I finish this one project by Friday.
UGH I hate not blogging
I woke up this morning and saw the comments Ben and Sydney left - I can't believe them! Sooo funny! SYDNEY USED THE "H" WORD!
And I agree with Ben, I am sure it is Sydney attacking him all the time, men just aren't that into sex, we actually just like to cuddle!
Eddie's words are spot.on.
Now all you women know the true mindset of every man out there...
We just want to cuddle... ;)
I was shocked that Syd used the "H" word as well!!! Just when you think you know someone... But then again, it doesn't surprise me that she used this word... cause she is. But when you are, "hot, and sexy, and gorgeous" what can a guy expect??
Really. Who can argue with this??LOL.
Holy cow, this was Hiiiilarious!!
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