Friday, July 29, 2005

Taste "Buds"

While pondering about some of my relationships I realized that my friends are a lot like food.

Take Bill for example - Bill is a lot like Kool-Aid. When people see him they are like, "Hey Bill!" but after you have been around him for a while you find that your tummy aches and you feel a little nauseated.

Pizza Friends

Pizza friends are good anytime. You see them in the morning and you are happy. You see them in the afternoon and you want to hang, and if you see them on the weekend it's party time! I love my pizza friends (you know who you are) and I never get tired of them.

Broccoli Friends

Broccoli friends are the friends that are good for you. They tell you the truth, set you straight, and keep you from being full of crap. Broccoli friends are the type of friends that encourage you to go to the gym. They make you wear sun block, they won't allow you to wear your speedo to the pool, and they are always adjusting your tie and telling you to stand up straight. Parents are Broccoli friends a lot of the time. Broccoli friends can be fun though if they come along with the "Cheese" friends. Broccoli friends for some reason aren't fun by themselves - but when you put them with "Cheese" friends then suddenly they are a blast.

Cheese Friends

Cheese friends are great in groups. In certain circles they are the life of the party, however, too much cheese can be really bad for you. And you rarely want your cheese friends by themselves. Cheese friends have a tendency to be BORE-RING when they are alone. They seem to have nothing to say when they are by themselves, but for some reason when they are put with the right type of person then something magical happens.

Chocolate Friends

They are sugary sweet and they make you feel good about yourself, but too much time around them and you end up all fat and babbly. "Chocolate" friends tell you exactly what you want to hear, they listen to you for hours on end and you can open up to them about anything. The problem with chocolate friends is that they are so good that you can use them all up too quickly and suddenly they are gone when you need them the most. Chocolate friends are very hard to find and when you do find them, be sure to take care of them and not to be greedy with them.

Beer Friends

Beer friends are bad for you. They entice you to go watch movies you don't want to see. They encourage bad relationships. They get you into fights and they bring out the worst in you. Each time you are with your "Beer" friends you promise yourself that you will never hang out with them again but invariably you do. Beer friends also make you farty and bloated and so it is best to avoid them at all costs.

It is important that we understand the importance of all of our friends. To neglect one type of friend can cause an imbalance in our friend diet and that is not a good thing. Over time you might find that your tastes for certain types of friends changes and you feel guilty because you start to like one friend more than the other. Life is like that. We grow up and our taste "buds" change, there is nothing wrong with it.

So tell me, what type of friend are you?

22 Comments:

Cookie723 said...

OK...great post...laughing flat out loud while reading due to A) your writing - like about broccoli friends..."They tell you the truth, set you straight, and keep you from being full of crap." Ain't it the truth.
and B)thinking where my friends all fit in.
Then your question - which one am I? I think I'm a buffet of sorts. I can be almost any of the friends listed (except beer - so not me.) depending on the peeps I'm with...ok, that sounds really lame - like I change with the wind. It's more that if so&so needs a piece of broccoli in her 'friend diet' I can give it to her...but I can also lay on the cheesiest pizza too :) I've run with this enough...can't wait to read everyone else's comments!

7:01 AM  
jes said...

beer friends make you farty and bloated... Classic.

7:09 AM  
Theresa said...

WOW!!! you are so insightful, you make me think of things only i thought i could think up! I am soooo a pizza friend, i'm not pushy, or gushy, or bad for you or anything. I'm just there for you from hot to cold, fresh or microwaved, picked apart or devoured...wait, what am i talking about again....oh, and yeah...my name...theresa ryhmes with pizza...

8:04 AM  
Caleb said...

I think i have to many beer friends. Something is wrong with that. I like beer though, but not beer friends.

8:38 AM  
Anonymous said...

What up big boy, you know I like a meatlover's pizza :).

9:30 AM  
Stephen said...

I'm a caramel friend. A lot like a Kool-aid friend in that I'm great in very small doses.

But I also go straight to your thighs.

Well, maybe not yours in particular Eddo.

Quiver ladies quiver.

;)

9:44 AM  
Maria del Carmen said...

I'm a chocolate dunked in beer kind of friend. Not the beer, but the CHOCOLATE dipped in beer. In other words, I encourage fun that may get you in trouble, but before it goes too far, I pull you out of there. :) Then I tell you really sweet things to help you forget the dangerous fun you're missing.

12:19 PM  
Edgy Mama said...

I LOVE your extended metaphors, Eddo. I think people are different depending on the relationship--I'm a broccoli friend to lots--former teacher, current editor and writing mentor. I hope to be pizza to my close friends, but I do slide into beer on occasion. Sadly, I don't think I'm ever chocolate!

1:18 PM  
Edgy Mama said...

P.S. The map going up in flames is briliant. You are so clever, boy!

1:29 PM  
Eddo said...

Thanks E.M.! You are always such an Ego Booster! I think we should make little E.M. dolls that have a pull string and when you pull the string it says stuff like, "Brilliant!" and "Remove that comma splice!" and "Waste Less Energy!"

I think Americans could use a little less chocolate in their lives.

1:32 PM  
Katie said...

Eddie - Love the new masthead (yep I used the proper term - at least I think I did - so that makes me computer geek cool).

Uhh I know I'm not a beer friend but I think I float between the other types. I hope that I am fun one on one so I don't cause "cheesy friendship constipation".

1:56 PM  
Caleb said...

ahh, I just noticed the masthead. the marijana farm went up in flames :(

2:54 PM  
Robin said...

Eddo, I have a feeling I fall into chocolate friend but I'm dark chocolate, not TOO sugary sweet! :)

Regarding my template, I just needed a change. I've got the one you made for me stashed away for later. Thanks big guy!! :)

3:01 PM  
Tammy said...

Now i'm just plain hungry. Darn you Eddie!

Hmmm, i hope that i'm a pizza friend. It seems that people always like me in all situations. However, I feel like i might be a cheese friend sometimes. I sometimes feel like i all of a sudden have nothing to say.

Now if i only could BE chocolate....and cheese....and pizza. Okay, just chocolate.

3:26 PM  
Cris said...

Your new image makes Smokey Bear very sad!

5:49 PM  
Saur?Kraut said...

What a fantastically clever post!!! It's a classic, and I have never said that before, anywhere.

I would like to think of myself as a Pizza friend, but I may be a Chocolate Cheesecake one, instead.

I adore the 'brocolli' friends and agree with it. I have some of those too. As a matter of fact, I guess many of my friends are actually crossovers. Sometimes they're pizza, sometimes they're beer.

8:10 PM  
Live, Love, Laugh said...

Eddo, you are one of a kind! As always you are thinking outside the box, your imagination is incredible, God gave you an extra dose when He made you.

Love ya lots,
mom

10:57 PM  
gonorr said...

Beer and a Ruby freind, although I have one called sinex because he gets up your nose for hours and another called exocet, because you see him coming but cant get away ;-)

3:43 AM  
MsThang said...

I think I am more of a chocolate friend to many, but dark chocolate.. I do have many friends that balance my diet, and how I am around them depends on what they need. BUT around my best friend we tend to be a beer and pizza type of chicks... one of always turns into brocolli before the end of the night and snaps the other one out of their beer induced haze.

7:31 AM  
jes said...

eddo. you think i am a kool-aid friend and a pizza friend? i'm not sure if that is a compliment...

but i'll take it anyways! :) thanks!

5:11 AM  
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