Missing: Will Power
Eddie Renz reported his Will Power missing early Tuesday morning after he entered the Starbucks on the corner of Parker and Alma in Plano. Last seen on Monday August 1st, Will Power has been missing now for over 72 hours.
"Vanished!" Is the word Mr. Renz used when questioned by other Starbucks customers and employees. "I was trying to decide if I should get the chocolote chip scone or the bran muffin and all of the sudden I noticed that my Will Power was gone! Vanished! I bought the Chocolate Chip scone and I haven't seen Will Power since!"
Investigators say that this sort of thing happens all the time. Just last week a woman reported losing her Will Power at a local Krispy Kreme and well known journalist and qausi-famous internet personality Elaine Liner reported losing her Will Power at a Marble Slab on lower Greenville.
"It is a terrible thing that happens to everyone every now and then" Jessica Ferris of Just Say Jes! said when questioned about such incidents. "It happens so suddenly you just don't know what to do, you get broadsided by a plate of cookies in a co-workers office, or your husband suddenly decides to take you to dinner at The Melting Pot and your Will Power just disappears!"
As for now, Mr. Renz has decided to console his loss with a bowl of Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia and a half-dozen flautas from Panchos.
31 Comments:
Pancho's flautas? I grew up eating those and LOVE them.
Yes, my Will Power vanished this morning at Tom Thumb. I was purchsing Cream of Wheat and Oatmeal for work breakfasts, and suddenly I found myself standing line with two boxes of granola bars. It was as if I was walking down the cereal aisle, getting healthy foods, and the boxes just LEAPED into my arms and FORCED me to carry them all the way to the checkout line, and then HELD A GUN TO MY HEAD as I purchased them.
Really, it happened. Just ask Nancy, my check-out lady who kept complimenting me on my beautiful hair.
Leann Carter reported this morning that her Will Power had been found. It seems it had turned up...of all places..... in her cupboard hidden behind some Quaker Oats. It seems her weakness for McDonald's Sausage Biscuits had been blinding her all week. She is very relieved to have her Will Power back and the police can now clear yet another missing Will Power case.
That is GREAT NEWS Leann! Maybe mine is hiding behind something healthy in my apartment - I NEVER thought to look there!
In order to miss your Will Power... do you have to have it in the first place?
Hmmm....
Eddie you need to look into journalism. This was a great news story. Very professional and with quotes correctly attributed.
As always, entertaining, enjoyable, and just plain eddienishousness (my own word, i just copyrighted it people so hands off)
Uhhh can I put an APB out for my will power because I am not going to get any work done with my obsessive blog checking all day. My will power disappeared yesterday when my comment # hit like 85.
If anyone has any tips you can call the crime watchers hot line. There is a reward for my will power's capture and return.
Jes - Flautas are so good from Panchos. I go to Panchos and I eat Tacos and Flautas, rice and beans, and queso.
KT - I love the new word!
Ben - I had a feeling I would hear a comment like that from you. Especially after that Sugar Cookie post where you wouldn't even give your child one of your cookies!
Ben is a cookie hog. He would so be shamed by me at game night for hogging the cookies. I can see it now.
Ssssstttttaaaaarrrrrbbbbuuuuuccccckkkkkkssssss.
Do they have espresso on IV tap?
I once lost my will power. It was when my grandmother made me try some wonderful EGG PLANT!! yea, I lost my WILL to live and my POWER to ever eat again. Shame on her!! I think i'm going to go eat a donut...mmmmmmm Donuts!!!
I am not a cookie hog.
Just and Oatmeal Shortbread Cookie Hog.
Cody! You are so funny! I can't wait to see you tonight!
Pancho's is to Mexican food as Cici's is to Pizza. (Disgusting). I don't think there is one item of food in Pancho's that is actual Mexican food. I will admit though that I loved Poncho's when I was little, but I also liked cold hot dogs then.
Crap. I did that yesterday as well.. I used the word "and" instead of "an" in my comments.
Me Speak English... me good at it.
You crack me up, Eddo.
KT, nice new word, but a bit difficult to pronounce.
Wow, Jes, I've never seen a box of granola bars that was packing heat. Where do you shop?
eddo, let's go eat at Pancho's sometime. i used to LOVE Pancho's, and was even a member of their birthday club! i got free sopapillas on my birthday!
but then all my friends made fun of me going there, and i suddenly became a closet Pancho's eater.
i'm ready to come out of the closet.
Jessica step back into the closet and pull the door closed. If you are going to eat Mexicn food then eat real Mexican food.
Jes, I'm up for Pancho's once every few years. It's about that time. But I agree with K-T, please don't call it "Mexican food". It's pseudo-mexican. Come on up to D-town. I'll go with you. I went by myself the last time I went. Couldn't convince anyone to eat it!
eddo you will happy to know that your Starbucks giftcard is in the mail to help you with the will power struggle...
Awesome!
and CD...
and my gas bill
Gas Bill? Please send me all your bills! Like mine, they won't get paid... :)
speaking of Gas...
Hey Ben how is Syd feeling?
;-)
Although I LOVE good food, I never lose my “food” will power. Go figure…
Awe man - I want some Panchos flautas - I love them - it's been so long since I had 'em too! Your too funny Eddo!!
No way... Panchos in Denton!? They closed the one in Corpus and I miss it. I miss it VERY MUCH.
That was too funny.
That same thing happens to be at Big Lots. I go in planning to spend $15 to get some basic things and I end up with $40 worth of things.
Eddo, why did you have to mention will power, I am ashamed to admit I have lost mine for awhile now and am not looking to find it either. Tin Star here I am, give me some buffalo chicken tacos.
Hey it is just you and I going on the boat this weekend, your dad said he had to work so we will go to Huck's afterwards or to Rudys whichever you prefer.
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