Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Cheesy Love - Not for the Lactose Intolerant

With Valentine's Day just around the corner, I thought it would be fun to whip up some poetry.

It seems that women are split when it comes to their love of romantic prose. Recently, it seems that most of the women I talk to think it to be cheesy, so for them, I give you...

Cheesy Love by Eddie Renz

Our love is like a bowl of queso
Spicy and rich if I may say so
Aged to perfection year after year
It pleases the palate like a wedge of Gruyere.

Sometimes it’s bitter, but mostly it’s bliss
Reminds me of, a nice block of Swiss.
It makes me merrier than a fat happy Buddha
Like a tray of apples with slices of Gouda.

Like American, or Colby, or good ol’ Jack
You are always perfect as midnight snack
You are so sharp, there are none better
You can be mild or bold – just like cheddar.

Smooth and creamy you aim to please
Pefect with pizza – just like goat cheese
Sometimes nutty, but never bleu
Without you girl I wouldn’t know what to do

You are my Ricotta, my fresh parmesan
The reason for living when the chips are all gone
Like hot melted Emmenthaler in a fondue bowl,
You make me complete, you make me whole.

34 Comments:

amelia said...

AHH!! LOL. This is my kind of poetry! So FUN!!

8:33 AM  
Amstaff Mom said...

HA HA HA HA!!! *wipes tears from eyes* HA HA HA HA!!!

At least you didn't say her feet smell like Limburger.

What? No Gorgonzola?????

And, btw, this is my FAVORITE template of yours. Besides the little devils you made for EM for Halloween. And my little suitcases, of course.

8:34 AM  
Eddo said...

Thanks Amelia! I thought you had forgotten about me!

AM - I racked my brain for the cheeses here, next time I will consult with you to get all the cheeses. Also, what rhymes with Gorgonzola!?!?!! I was trying to use Mozarella and I could only think of the word "Fella" to rhyme with it and so I had to pass.

It's not as mellow as Longfellow, but still it's poetry.

8:38 AM  
Dawn said...

haha funny poem, eddo!

I really like this template! A lot easier on these old eyes of mine. hehe

8:53 AM  
Amstaff Mom said...

I know, that's why I had to give you a hard time with the Gorgonzola. Because that has to be the hardest word to rhyme.

What about Muenster, Havarti, Cottage, and Feta?
If you need a fish, buy a beta!

Oh, that was as lame as Liza Minnelli. I've been spending too much time at the Kroger Deli.

8:54 AM  
Eddo said...

mmmm... I do like Harvati, now I am hungry for a grilled cheese! Where can you get a grilled cheese out? I need to open a restaurant that specializes in the perfect grilled cheese.

9:05 AM  
Eddo said...

Oh, and I don't know how you worked in Liza Manelli in that last comment, but you did, and that is hilarious - hilarious because it is so random.

If I needed a word to rhyme with deli I would have said Jelly, or Belly, or Telly, or Celly - but not, never, nunca - Manelli!

9:08 AM  
Amstaff Mom said...

A bunch of places have them on the kids menu. Chili's, etc. Our cafeteria at work makes pretty good ones, on Texas Toast. I'm hungry now!

9:11 AM  
Katie said...

grilled cheese - SONIC, and get a drink while you are there, one with crunchy ice

Ahahaha, love the poem, Eddo you are the king of cheese

JCol - crackin me up with the rhyming

That Vizzini, he can fuss.
Fuss, fuss... I think he like to scream at us.
Probably he means no harm.
He's really very short on charm.
You have a great gift for rhyme.
Yes, yes, some of the time.
Enough of that.
Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?
If there are, we all be dead.
No more rhymes now, I mean it.
Anybody want a peanut?

9:16 AM  
Eddo said...

The King of cheese? I am not sure if that is a compliment. If it is, I am sure it is a backhanded one. Like, "Eddie, if there was an award for being the worst at blog design, you would be the best - you would be the best of the worst."

Fortunately KT, you came back with some great lines from The Princess Bride and so I will let the backhanded compliment slide.

9:18 AM  
Amstaff Mom said...

Ah, one of the cleverest rhymes of all time. Way to deliver it to the masses K-T. Oh script-reader!

How did I forget that Sonic had grilled cheese? But ya got to eat it fast or it'll get soggy in the foil.

Eddo loves his grilled cheese.
He really is so easy to please.
Give him a slice of chocolate pie
And for you, he'd be willing to die.

9:26 AM  
Eddo said...

Yes, Sonic's grilled cheeses are always full of artificial butter and the bread quality is poor. I like a good sourdough - like the one you get at Cracker Barrel.

And yes, some chocolate pie does sound delicious - are you going to bring some Saturday night?

9:28 AM  
Katie said...

But Eddo, King of Cheese is a compliment, as in you posess it in such a way that all other's bow in your cheesiness presence

ugh soggy bread, JCOL - gross

9:37 AM  
nerdy said...

oh i get it.... CHEESY love! bwah hah! very clever.

and if i can bother you for a shameless plug, i actually wrote some psudo-poetry on my blog last night, too! i'm proud. but eddo, yours is a lot more fun. good job!

P.S. i <3 the princess bride... fezzik actually has another rhyme later in the movie that i only just noticed a few years ago.

inego: i am waiting for vizzini...
fezzik: you surely are a meanie!
inego: it's you!
fezzik: true!

9:53 AM  
Theresa said...

HOW DO YOU DO THAT?? I just finished my lunch of mozzerorella sticks, grilled cheese, string cheese and cheese cake!! yes, that was on purpose. I started the morning craving cheese....

9:56 AM  
Amstaff Mom said...

Brian will fight you for the King of Cheese title. He just might when that fight. The whole family is a bunch of cheeseaholics.

10:56 AM  
Stephanie said...

"Sometimes nutty, but never bleu
Without you girl I wouldn’t know what to do"

Hahahaha this line cracked me up, because at first I felt like this would fit in well with a rap song (ie: "Girl, you fiiiiine!"lol) But then I felt a more "Milli Vanilli" vibe happening:

"Girl you know it's true! OOH OOH OOH! I love you!"

And then I laughed even harder.

Yes, this is really how my brain works. lol

Thanks for the laughs Eddo! You're hilarious!

11:48 AM  
EmmaSometimes said...

CAMBOZOLA!!!!!!!!

It's a German Cheese and I totally cheated

It's not what you know, it's how fast you can google! ~JennyBee

11:57 AM  
EmmaSometimes said...

I am going to make a chocolate rum mini-chocolate chip cheesecake today, I have been inspired. (takes 2lbs count them, TWO! lbs of cream cheese.)

To die for.

12:00 PM  
Fred said...

Oh, my, that was terrific, Eddo. But, it did make me hungry...

1:13 PM  
Heather said...

That was absolutely hilarious. That is the kind of Valentine poetry I would want.

2:46 PM  
Logan Bennett said...

Dude that is freaking awesome I loved that poem mind if I read it to my Fiancee for Valentines day, she might think that it is romantic........ maybe

2:51 PM  
Eddo said...

Sure Logan, it is romantic... sometimes the best poetry is the funny kind that doesn't try to be something that it isn't. I think that is what is hard about romance, people are so often skeptical that they scoff at the first sign of genuine romantic effort - but the effort is what counts.

2:57 PM  
EmmaSometimes said...

eddo,

Your poetry rocks by the way. So true on the effort front. Effort is about 99% of it...okay, 99.8365% to be exact. Especially if poet is willing to make it lighthearted in the process. (my hubby wrote me a poem by the second date....I had it laminated and still have it.)

PS Eddo! Where is your mullet picture??? I need some photos for my contest!! Send me the mullets!

3:26 PM  
Angelica said...

*Clap, clap, clap
That was so fun! I loved it!

5:22 PM  
Edgy Mama said...

I don't know, AM. I like this template, but I LOVE the cactus one. It's so bright and energetic--like Eddo.

Eddo, maybe you should stick with fiction.

5:23 PM  
Maria del Carmen said...

Eddo, you are such a romantic! LOL I haven't been by in a while and popped in to find this beautiful poetry. You made me smile. : - )

Happy February!

7:19 PM  
Live, Love, Laugh said...

I see you are at it again! Don't tell me you wrote this for someone. hee hee!!

9:33 PM  
Live, Love, Laugh said...

Eddo, Ordinary Christian's site is fabulous! I love it, what about the first one you did, I hope you saved the template so I can see what it looks like.

Love ya,
Thanks, I will have to do something special for you for doing that for me. What would you like? A Denali with 24 inch wheels?

9:47 PM  
joy said...

Hey Eddo! Haven't been here in a while and I can see that you're still at it. Cheesy poem (pardon the pun), but halarious! LOL!

5:43 AM  
Anonymous said...

Oh brother. Give me a break bro.

6:33 AM  
The Cubicle Reverend said...

Oh brother, give me a break man. Us single guys are going to puke.

6:34 AM  
jes said...

eddie, i miss the poetry. it should make a regular appearance. like, poetry tuesdays or something.

7:37 AM  
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