The Five Love Languages
Have you ever read the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman? I haven't, but I don't need to read a book to know that my love language is Words of Affirmation.
What are the Five Love Languages?
Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service (Thanks Jes for the correction!)
Physical Touch
I think all of these are nice in a relationship, but for me, I need to HEAR it. I think that is why I like blogging so much - I LOVE instant feedback. Positive or negative, I want to know what your thinking - tell me what's on your mind. Some people say, "actions speak louder than words" , but I like a nice balance of both.
So what is your Love Language? If you don't have a clue, there is a long quiz you can take to find out.
24 Comments:
when i last took the test (about 5 years ago), mine were equally quality time and words of affirmation. oh, and receiving gifts. i like gifts.
but, eddie, you have quality time down twice. maybe that's a freudian slip! i think the 5th one is actually service/servanthood. like, if someone fixes your toilet, you know they really like you.
#1 for me is Physical Touch
#2 is Acts of Service
#3 is GIVING gifts. Or maybe that's included in #2. Unfortunately this doesn't normally agree w/ my budget though.
you know, I think I just combined what I need with what I do. Physical touch is what I need. Acts of Service is how I show love. That and physical touch.
Are what you need and how you love different? I wonder if this is always the same or not?
AM, I think the languages only apply to what you need - because everyone needs something different.
So, what you have to do is find out what Brian's needs are and then show him love that way and express to him what your needs are so that both of you can make a concerted effort to meet each other's needs.
My first impression is that I'm a physically-affectionate person...but that may be because my wife isn't, so I'm always craving touch.
The test says I need words of affirmation, which, knowing me, is probably true. But isn't that basically true of all men? ;)
AWESOME book! It revolutionized my relationships in the past and present.
You know, we need all of them, but there are two that probably stand out. I'm phys touch and words of aff.
It's fun to apply it to my kids. (There's a version for kids too.) My daughter is a total quality time gal.
I think it's interesting that this book covers the aspect of affection but not communication or conflict. There are other areas, but I believe this book is the authority on affection.
~Jef
I didn't take the quiz, but based on what I know about myself I think it would be physical touch and words of affirmation. At least that is what I can tell about myself from 7 months of marriage so far.
Hi, it is only through my friend stephanie that I came upon your blog sight. I took the test and I definitely came out with what I predicted-Quality time. This is a definite reason why not to marry a doctor since I work at a hospital. LOL. It is strange though that I like giving gifts to my family to receive affirmation from them and then this year for Christmas, even though I ranked number 3 on receiving gifts, I did not really care about getting any gifts. I had friends tell me to make a wish list on Amazon and think up of things I wanted. I did not want for anything. I love talking to people and spending time listening to the other person. Thanks again for your sites!
The quiz had me as:
1. Acts of service.
2. Physical touch.
I think that's right. If I want you to know I care, I am doing things for you. I am also very sensitive to others doing things for me, so it works both ways on that one.
My wife is also very glad I am a physical touch guy - no need to ask for cuddles, even though she still does because she is crazy super excited about it, while I am only excited about it.
Dude mine is totally acts of service, I love it when people do things for me, it shows me that they love me enough to take the time to do something for me.
That's an interesting quiz. I'm going to have hubby take that one. Velly intellesting!
Quality Time Baby!!
#1 Quality Time
#2 Words of Affirmation
Guessed them both correctly
E-spouse loves that book. I'm a physical touch and words of affirmation girl!
Katie,
ME too.. I almost didn't believe it and took it again.
1) Quality time
2) Affirmation
Eddo,
What does it take to get in with the crowd here? (sniff) Its like high school all over again, except better clothes..and kinda strung all out over the country..with less zits and hair not so big. okay, maybe not.
an interesting thing to notice is that the language that makes you feel loved is the same one you usually use to make other people feel loved as well.
me, i'm totally a gifts person. a boy in my class made me a paper flower and i'll keep it forever. i feel like a horrible person if i forget someone's birthday or if my brother doesn't like his christmas present. it's weird...
the quiz ranked me as #1 gifts, #2 physical touch. i'd say that's right on.
Think I'll go take the test because I'm not sure what mine are...
Finished the quiz and touch is #1 for me, with quality time in 2nd place. I think it's important for people to know their love language and then tell their mate what makes them happy. Women shouldn't expect men to be mind readers.
Blessings,
I think mine is all five. I like receiving gifts but it is not a major thing with me. Hugs and things like that are my favorite. I love to be snuggled. :)
i burned that book. it just gave my husband an excuse to DEMAND all five of these things. and in return, i got loved in his languages also. so it was an all around flop. people know my languages. for example i have a friend, who knows i love to give and receive gifts. and she didn't get me anything for christmas, and refused to let me give her what i had for her. it hurts my feelings really bad. but she said, too bad. its not her language, so she's not doing it.
i also like acts of service, and quality time. my husbands number one is touch and that is my number 5. we have some problems. as you can imagine.
eddo, why you no pay attention to ma comment, why you no pay me no homage, what did i do wrong, was it the cowbell? is it the hair? is it the fact i meantioned your favorite book and "burning" in the same sentence?
why, i's jis goin lay down an cry meself ta sleep, cause no one ceres thit i gots no lovins.
Susie, I didn't mean to hate! I just didn't think it was a comment that required a response - did it ask a question that I missed?
well, eddo, i'm a big baby. and i guess i'm jealous that everyone else liked the book and i didn't i wanted you to say, "it's okay susie, please don't cry, it doesn't work out for everyone". there, i said it myself, so you're off the hook. don't worry bout me. i'm an idiot.
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