Naked Comfort

I don't think women realize that men are simple. All we want is someone we can come home to at night and be comfortable with when we are naked. A woman that laughs at our jokes and says "thank you" when we do something nice. A good mother to our children. Someone who understands that sometimes we are insensitive, but at the end of the day we chose them out of millions of other women to spend the rest of our life with and for a man that is a nearly impossible task.

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I have a friend at work named Sandy, I think every woman should be more like her. She never complains. She is always extremely appreciative of anything that you do for her. She always delights in the little things no matter how insignificant and she is very thoughtful. When you are with her you can be yourself and she makes you feel good about yourself.

On this note, and because everyone seems to be talking about relationships around Valentines Day, I decided to make a list of what guys do and don't want when it comes to women. (for me Christian is a given so I won't elaborate on that here)

Wants:

Appreciative - If a man does something nice for you, be excited and tell him thank you or else you might not ever get anything nice again and it will be your own fault.

Responsive - if a man shows interest in something, take note, this is something NOT to be taken lightly. Women ALWAYS seem to underestimate the interests of a man. We CANNOT be changed in this department. We WILL choose our car, video game, sports team, internet - over you so the best thing to do is show interest in what we love to do. (I am using a bit of hyperbole here, maybe poorly, but I am just trying to make a point) So maybe he hates going shopping with you, when was the last time you worked on the car with him? If a guy you are with spends too much time doing something you don't like, then you better get out early, because the likelihood of him giving it up is VERY slim.

Attractive - for men all attraction is different but I think we all want someone that we can be proud of. Take care of yourself. Sometimes women let themselves go because they think, "Why bother, I am too - fat, ugly, short, tall, skinny, etc." Personally I like a woman that is put together, I thought Star Jones was beautiful even when she was overweight because she was always put together and she was always smiling - I bet she smelled good too.

Fun - I should have put this one first. Who doesn't like to have fun? When you get past all the physical part of relationships the most important part is fun.

Reciprocity - if a guy is spending his hard earned money on you, then do something nice for him every now and then. This girl I used to date would rub my shoulders and massage my back at random times and I loved it. It was the little things like that that made me love her. (unfortunately she broke up with me or else we would probably be married now)


Don't Wants:

Harsh, Abrasive, Controlling, Bossy, Manipulative - the biggest turn off for me is a bossy woman. There have been girls in my past that I thought were very pretty and very attractive and they turned me off forever by being too bossy or too harsh. This is important not just in relationships, but in life - chill out psycho.

Boring - Have some goals, have some interests other than shopping and Desperate Housewives, be interesting.

Insecurity - If we are with you, then we WANT to be with you. Don't stress about the relationship and if you are not getting what you need out of the relationship to make you feel secure then talk to him and if he still doesn't change, then it might be best to get out of it. You'll feel better for being the one that was strong enough to end it and your new found confidence will make you more attractive.

Promiscuity - No one wants a toy that everyone else has already played with. Wrap that package up nicely and we'll wait to see what is inside.


The bad news for women is that men rarely change, women I think are more capable of adjusting, and so we expect them to - we expect them to conform to us. It isn't fair, I didn't make up the rules, I didn't give us X&Y chromosomes, I am just stating the facts.

Edited: 11:12 AM I think everyone is mis-interpreting my closing line. I probably should have worded it better... My point is that I like to dance, and I am not going to stop dancing - Ever. I am going to marry someone that likes to dance. I like to sing. I won't stop singing, it is who I am. I want someone to like my singing and if they don't like it, then I won't marry them either. I am not saying that you shouldn't change things or mature, or grow with your mate - that is just crazy, what I am saying is pick someone that you are compatible with, not someone that you think you can make compatible with you.


Happy Valentines Day weekend!