Sunday, March 19, 2006

The real "About Me"

By the time I was 5 I was America's Top Child Model. Brown was the new white and I was totally the "It" kid.





By the age of 10 I had invented a cure for cancer that I sold to the government which they destroyed because of the devestating effects it would have had the economy.

At 12 I was the creative marketing genius that helped Bill Gates copyright and license DOS which would later turn him into a billionaire.

Finding it hard to keep my anonymity I move to West Africa, Ghana and started my own cult that grew to over 20,000 members. Bored with so much power I gave it up at 14 and adopted 6 children of various races wih the intention of moving them to an island and creating an entirely new race.

Creating super humans became too much of a chore and so I decided to leave that to God and I joined a monkery where I didn't speak for a year. In that silence I heard voices and these voices told me to go home to America and to start blogging.

Back in America I decided to fight for justice and equality and I became one the top ny lawyers. Unfortunately, I blogged confidential information and was tossed into prison for 3 years. While in prison I learned 8 languages and memorized the Bible in Hebrew and Greek.

Upon leaving prison I went through great pains to change my identity. I am now Edward Charles Renz, blog writer, dreamer, and closet genius. My life now is uncomplicated and my card is American Express - as I was the last recipient of the exclusive "Black" card.

If I am not in Plano then you might find me at my Vacation Home Orlando or in Hawaii where I am testing a slew of Marine Electronics.

9 Comments:

Edgy Mama said...

You are so James Frey, babe!

5:54 PM  
Fred said...

What, you didn't do a stint as James Bond?

6:14 PM  
Amstaff Mom said...

I had never heard of the "black" card until I started reading Waiter Rant. I learn much from blogging.

5:32 AM  
Theresa said...

I KNEW you were holding out on us! I've said numerous times, "There's more to that man than good looks, great moves and his creativity!!

6:43 AM  
jes said...

Whhheeeeee!!! Fifteen dollars!

Also, you can back-date some of them - bury them in your archives. (But newer archives - not those from 2003.)

:)

10:15 AM  
Aim Claim said...

that is FUNNY!

10:18 AM  
Saur?Kraut said...

You are so incredible, darling. You forgot to mention that's how you met me: The exclusive dinner party at the Queen Mum's, the whispers you exchanged with Princess Di... but *I* remember it. I'm just waiting to write your biography when you do something so amazingly scandalous that I'll make millions off of it.

11:10 AM  
Stephanie said...

I um... hahahahaha I don't have words to really describe what I'm thinking right now. lol

You crack me up Eddo! Missed ya!

1:52 PM  
Live, Love, Laugh said...

wow what an incredible son I have! Of course you got all of that talent from me!

9:07 PM  

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home