The real "About Me"
By the time I was 5 I was America's Top Child Model. Brown was the new white and I was totally the "It" kid.
By the age of 10 I had invented a cure for cancer that I sold to the government which they destroyed because of the devestating effects it would have had the economy.
At 12 I was the creative marketing genius that helped Bill Gates copyright and license DOS which would later turn him into a billionaire.
Finding it hard to keep my anonymity I move to West Africa, Ghana and started my own cult that grew to over 20,000 members. Bored with so much power I gave it up at 14 and adopted 6 children of various races wih the intention of moving them to an island and creating an entirely new race.
Creating super humans became too much of a chore and so I decided to leave that to God and I joined a monkery where I didn't speak for a year. In that silence I heard voices and these voices told me to go home to America and to start blogging.
Back in America I decided to fight for justice and equality and I became one the top ny lawyers. Unfortunately, I blogged confidential information and was tossed into prison for 3 years. While in prison I learned 8 languages and memorized the Bible in Hebrew and Greek.
Upon leaving prison I went through great pains to change my identity. I am now Edward Charles Renz, blog writer, dreamer, and closet genius. My life now is uncomplicated and my card is American Express - as I was the last recipient of the exclusive "Black" card.
If I am not in Plano then you might find me at my Vacation Home Orlando or in Hawaii where I am testing a slew of Marine Electronics.
9 Comments:
You are so James Frey, babe!
What, you didn't do a stint as James Bond?
I had never heard of the "black" card until I started reading Waiter Rant. I learn much from blogging.
I KNEW you were holding out on us! I've said numerous times, "There's more to that man than good looks, great moves and his creativity!!
Whhheeeeee!!! Fifteen dollars!
Also, you can back-date some of them - bury them in your archives. (But newer archives - not those from 2003.)
:)
that is FUNNY!
You are so incredible, darling. You forgot to mention that's how you met me: The exclusive dinner party at the Queen Mum's, the whispers you exchanged with Princess Di... but *I* remember it. I'm just waiting to write your biography when you do something so amazingly scandalous that I'll make millions off of it.
I um... hahahahaha I don't have words to really describe what I'm thinking right now. lol
You crack me up Eddo! Missed ya!
wow what an incredible son I have! Of course you got all of that talent from me!
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