I'm Broken...
One of the things that "they" don't say much about relationships is how they affect you long after they are over. How long does it take to scrub away relationship residue... or will it always remain?
In my last relationship my girlfriend loved emo and indie rock. Coldplay, Modest Mouse, Orenda Fink, Death Cab For Cutie, Snow Patrol - she loved them all. I was a fan of many of these artists, but as we spent time together we listened to what she liked 99% of the time. She didn't like Rap or R&B and since I am pretty flexible when it comes to my musical tastes I always made sure that I had stuff that she liked on CD.
What I didn't realize with my last relationship is that when I broke up with her I was also breaking up with the things that we shared together. I don't enjoy Coldplay anymore, or Death Cab for Cutie, or any of the CD's that we listened to together over and over. Music is the one thing that we really shared and when she left she took that music with her.
This was one of our favorites. The words are fitting for this post.
Fix You - Coldplay
When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love some one but it goes to waste
could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
20 Comments:
Hey Eddo, I just caught up on your last five posts! Wow, you've been doing alot of thinking lately!
Stuff lingers always... some good stuff, some bad stuff. We can't always separate the emotion from the object, nor should we always try.
Broken is a good place to start becoming whole again. Enjoy what YOU enjoy and know that many people think you are pretty amazing.
But in time, you'll hear one of those songs and realize that it's OK now.
Time, my friend.
sooooooo true.
I don't enjoy Simpson's anymore, it was my X's favorite show.
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Awwww! I know how THIS goes...
Stuff like this is hard to let go of. It will get easier as time goes by.
They are right Eddo! Time will make it better, and you'll enjoy those tunes again. I promise!! I know.
life sucks sometimes. But it is that pain we feel... the crap we endure.. that forces us to recognize that we are in fact not God.
Things just don't go our way. I call being broken as our reminder that we are man
"lord I want so many things, but what I need has never changed. All this wanting only makes me need you more, I need you more."
Hugs to you Eddo.
Eddie you are so Emo...
That's why I like being married... then I don't have to break up with things... and I am no longer broken cause she fixes me all the time... and this is a good thing. I would be broken with out her...
Wow how much truth is in this last post. I am there too, and lets say I have my good days and my bad days. Hand in there Eddo, these things take time and a lot of healing.
But then you recover and the songs start to be enjoyable again. One song for ME that's strongly linked to a past boyfriend is In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel. It's too incredible to give up, though. It's haunting, and well-written, and can't be discarded.
Hang in there, hon. I didn't know about your break up but you are well-loved and very valued by a great many of us. *hugz*
looks like you and i are suffering from the same post-relationship withdrawls... unfortunately, mine include scrubs and several of my favorite movies. bummer.
don't give up! someday you'll find someone who you can share everything with, forever. if there's no hope for you eddo, then we're all in big trouble. ;) hang in there.
What is emo?
Ben,
You're such a q-t!
Sorry, Eddo. Living w/o Coldplay could be tough.
For all of you who left really nice comments here I appreciate them more than you know.
I say "I love you guys" in my posts sometimes and I really mean it.
i saw your comment on dooce's site that probably led to this post. i hope that you'll be able to start enjoying these lost pleasures again! soon! :)
I still go through things like that with a relationship that is almost 2 years old. It took a lot out of me, but is slowly getting better. Hope your hurts heal soon!
Breakups suck, but I wouldn't give up music for ANY guy. Let her go, be happy you're free to find The One. It's not always easy, but it gets easier! :-)
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