1 in 5 has Herpes, but not Everyone deserves them...
A while back I posted about herpes. You can read that post here. The point of my post was not that people make mistakes, my outrage was in the fact that the magazine made it sound like if you got the disease it was no big deal. However, I know when I wrote the post I definitely was not as sensitive as I should have been as some people get herpes by not fault of their own.
The reason I am writing this today is because I got an email that prompted me to give an apology to Deby, a woman that wrote me this:
Please be careful about information you discover on the internet, particularly something as important as medical info. Check out WEBMD.com, type in STD (sexually transmitted disease) to get accurate info. (By the way, genital warts are human papillomavirus, or HPV.) I ran into this website while doing some research for a paper. As a retired grandmother living with Herpes for 35 years, I was really disappointed at some of the mean-spirited and judgmental comments. Not everyone gets these things because of their behavior. I was married and didn't know the husband (now ex-) was messing around. Fortunately, my outbreaks are mild. So mild, in fact, that at first I wasn't even aware that I had it. (Most people don't have the horrifying symptoms mentioned in the magazine.)
I was pregnant when the ex- left and, because he didn't tell me about the Herpes, I actually put my baby in danger by having a vaginal birth. I have known several other women who trusted the men they were with and ended up with similar - and worse -problems. So, I could be judgmental, too, and say all men are dicks, but I wouldn't do that. A little kind-heartedness and understanding goes a long way. Thanks. Deby
What a horrible thing to have to live through. First the betrayal and then the disease that keeps the memory of the betrayal fresh year after year. My heart hurts for people who are in Deby's position.
So to Deby, I do apologize if my post, or the comments sounded judgemental. I always try to be sensitive to others in my posts, but sometimes I fail to do so. I wish you the best and thanks for opening my eyes and helping me to be more understanding and less insensitive about a very sensitive subject.
13 Comments:
Way to take the high road, Eddo. I'm sure she'll appreciate it.
Bless her heart, that sucks.
"So, I could be judgmental, too, and say all men are dicks, but I wouldn't do that."
by all means say it. its true.. we are. sorry world for the weaker half of the human species. :)
her note to you is so calm and collected. certainly years of wisdom behind it. if it were me writing that letter, i think it quickly could have gone bitter and mean.
wow she was very calm and yet very firm in her response, and I love eddie that you didn't just read the email and think "oops, i'll change" but you gave her time and space here and gave worth to her opinion
Trav, I almost said the same thing you did, but couldn't figure out a way to put it - so I left it off.
Most of the dudes I know are pretty lame, even those of us that try to be decent fail miserably at times.
So sad.
What a bum.
Back off, grannie, if your story is true, the original post wasn't directed towards you.
interesting post Eddo.
Hey it was great having lunch with you today, I was thinking about the comment you made about life and how we were discussing how we make all these goals and plans and life happens. Think I'll post about that.
Love ya!
Good insight. I have never really thought about it that way...about the betrayal and stuff. I am glad she let us get a glimpse into her life so we could understand.
I remember the post. And you're being very gentlemanly, but ... if her hubby hadn't been sleeping around, he wouldn't have passed it off to HER. So, though it's not HER fault, it certainly is his, and due to the lifestyle he had chosen before he met her.
BUT, there are always exceptions. I know of a baby that got the oral version of the herpes virus on his genitals, because his mom had cankersores and didn't know to wash her hands before changing his diaper. His dad was soooo upset by it, and had to listen to the little guy scream and whimper for days. Eventually it went away. The good news is that if it's oral herpes on the genitals, chances are excellent that it won't happen again. But if it's genital herpes, look out. They're keepers.
By the way... why are they called herpes? why not himpes?
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