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The one I scared that got away…

“Ice, Ice, Baby…” I said, as she gave me the cold shoulder. Her long blonde tresses barely concealed the cruel line of her epicene lips. Lips that I would never kiss.

Walking away she looked even more beautiful. I liked that, that feeling of losing something, the feeling of something getting away – it made the hunt even more exhilirating. But she was losing me and I didn’t even realize it. One moment she was there and then… she was gone.

I looked for her again at her favorite watering hole. I set traps, I placed bait, but she never took it. She is gone for good, never coming back.

The two of us were actually made for each other, I know, because we are exact opposites and exactly the same. Driven, intelligent, unable to deal with the trivialities of this world and wanting to do everthing that we wanted to do and nothing else. It smacks of selfishness but really it’s a form of protection. A carefully constructed wall that keeps the riff-raff out and allows us to get on with our oredered lives instead of taking a chance on a new one.

People always tell me, “There are other fishes in the sea…” but we aren’t talking about fish now, are we.

It’s been over 6 months now and I still think about her smile, it’s warmth is quickly diminished by the memory of how she could be so cold. I miss her most because she was never mine and I wonder if she was, if I’d even miss her at all.

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