Suspect the Unexpected.

The headache continues. It plagues me like the 10 plagues that were unleashed on Egypt and that stupid Pharoah with the hardened heart. But I have done nothing to deserve this pain!

Yesterday I posted that I was possibly being poisoned and I pretty much ruled out the possibility that the culprit was DW, but maybe I was wrong. Perhaps because he is the least likely to slip hemlock into my Diet Coke, maybe it was he. Me thinks it possible. Last night he was in a rather strange mood. He blamed it on his presentation, but I could swear he looked surprised when I walked through the door. He probably thought I was already dead. A slight miscalculation on his part? Who knows. I have increased my Vitamin C intake and I have also taken other measures to boost my immune system. Eating out has become a must. I feel like an animal in my own home, hunted like prey, not knowing whenceforth somthing wicked comes.

I have thought of all the possible ways I could be being drugged and here is a list.

Perhaps they have sprinkled something onto Dixie's fur knowing that I like to pet her and kiss her head. The poison could be anthrax or something that is absorbable through the skin.
It could be my toothbrush, toothpaste, bar of soap, or sundry other items that are in the bathroom- the toilet paper? God Forbid.
Lacing my envelopes with something deadly. Everyone knows that this week is bill pay week. Knowing that I always lick my envelopes, someone could have tampered with them- now instead of sealing the envelope, i could be sealing my fate...

Well, my head hurts too much to continue enumerating the myriad of ways that someone is drugging/slowly killing me. Whoever you are, be devil, witch, or roommate- I am sorry- please make it stop. Stop the pain, stop the voodoo- just MAKE IT STOP!!!

Vexed and Perplexed.

My head hurts. I don't know why, but I think someone must be drugging me. But when? Was it slipped into the pineapple banana smoothie that I made this morning? Perhaps it was that frozen dinner that I purchased from Kroger- did someone unseal the sealed container and slip in some rohipnol? or worse asenic laced with cyanide? In small doses I don't think any of them can kill you, but this headache is about to do me in.

The next question is...

WHO IS TRYING TO KILL ME!

Could it be Booch? My smarmy little roommate that looks suprisingly similar to a Koala Bear. I like to call him Koala Booch to his face- he is easily annoyed, but surprisingly fun to hang out with. At first I thought we were going to fight, but now I think he could be the long lost side kick- Eddo and the Amazing Koala Booch. We could be crime fighters or something, it would be fun.

Possibly Jimmy is trying to kill me. He has always been EXTREMELY jealous of my gloriously brown skin. No matter how much tanning, or sunless tanning he does, he cannot obtain the Mocha Latte brown complexion that I was blessed with. Few people on this earth are gifted with tri-raciality, but I am. So maybe it is Jimbo? A line I remember from Silence of the Lambs went something like this-
"What is it that you Envy Clarice?" (Hannibal Lecter)
"I don't know" (Clarice)
"The things you see everyday" (Hannibal Lecter)

So cut to Jimmy seeing me everyday, hating every moment that he sees me because it reminds him of the complexion that he can never obtain, and it drives him crazy. He cannot take it anymore, the wound has fetered to an uncontrollable level and now he desires to be rid of me and my creamy mocha latte self once and for all. And so maybe he poisoned the drinking water- he always uses the water purifier, but he knows I don't so it is likely that he snuck down to the water plant and laced it with Gallons of Ma Huang or Ephedra knowing that I already take these deadly diet drugs, but increasing the dose will increase my risk of a heart attack and he can be rid of me and no one would be the wiser...

Perhaps it is DW. He has no reason to be rid of me, he is enamored by me. So it can't be him.

Maybe Luker? Nope- he is not diabolical enough to scheme up a plan to kill me, besides, if he was going to do it, he would probably do something to my brake line on my truck- at least my head wouldn't be hurting.

So it must be Booch or Jimmy.

Over last weekend I met many new friends, new people, and went to a few new places.

I had a great talk over lunch with a man who was recently married- well, he had been married for a year, but that is still recent.

So the young man told me that marriage was full of trials and tribulations, and growing and learning. This was not news to me, but it is always good news to hear when you are single. Coming from the Song of Solomon conference, I am usually inclined to swivel my head in search of some future Mrs. Renz, but surprisingly, my only longing was not for that completeness that our society thrusts upon us. Alas, my heart is elsewhere, but that's another story.

During this conversation, I had an epiphany- suddenly everything made sense- and maybe, if you are married you will agree, and maybe if you are single, you will learn. Marriage is like going to the Bahamas, or pretty much any place you really want to go, and would love to go. You dream about it, you fantasize about it, you want nothing more than to go to this place, this exotic Utopia where wonders will never cease. However, in reality, you get there and you enjoy it for that one week, and then you are ready to go back home. Vacations become work after about a week. You have to look for things that interest you. I get bored really easy, so, before I plan to take that never ending Vacation, I am going to make sure I am really tired of Texas and I never want to come back.

Great Party Ideas or Somewhat Good Party Ideas- Or, maybe just party ideas that I think are good.

The Show and Tell Party-

This would be a fun party, everyone would bring something that they thought no one else had ever seen. These items may also be items that everyone has seen, but possibly there is a new use for them that no one else has thought of.

Random Food Party

Invite a minimum of 10 people or 5 couples. All of them must bring one uncooked item. Assign each of them a food group, but give them no other specifics. Then when everyone gets there, create a dish using the random ingredients. A good idea would be to have lots of appetizers just in case the random items produce random tasting crap.

Festival Of Madness

This would be a fun party, everyone could come as someone that was insane. Uncle Fester, Kathy Bates from Misery, or they could come in a straight jacket. Some people could just come as themselves.
Bobbing for apples would be a must at this party. Lots of mattressess applied to the walls would add to the feeling of a madhouse. Taped shrieks and cries from real insane asylums would give the entire affair an aura of authenticity. Other food items could include. Katatonic Koolaid, Schizophrenic Spaghetti, and Deviled Dementia- my personal favorite.

Fried Bologna and Pork Skins party

This is a favorite among people who watch Jerry Springer. Get a few packages of Bologna, a skillet, a bottle of mustard, some white bread, a Pepsi, a Moon Pie, a bag of pork rinds, a wife beater, 8 dogs, 9 kids... and let the party begin!!

Mr. T Starter Kit party

Most likely your friends won't shave their heads- I know mine won't. But who doesn't have that extra large gold or silver chain just sitting in their junk drawer or in their jewelry box just waiting to be donned atop a Knicks or Mavs jersey, or maybe even just a wife beater? Shoot, everybody has a Mr. T starter kit at the heezy, but no one has any place to show it off at. Well here you go. First of all you need as much gold jewelry as possibly. All shirts need to be sleeveless. Camo pants are a bonus. Talking in short phrases such as "I pity the poor fool!" "Stay in school" "Don't do drugs" "First name is mister, middle name period, last name T" these phrases must pepper all conversations. These parties are always a huge success.

The Special Talent Party

This party is not for the meek. You get a few friends together and you show off your special talent. So maybe you are really good at eating, bring a huge sub sandwich and eat it real fast for everyone, perhaps you are really good at pogo sticking. Man I was, I was also really good on the sit and spin and the Big wheel- (Cut to me doing 360's all over the road.) Remember people, keep it clean, a few distasteful special talents can bring this party down quick.

The "Guess who smacked my face" party.

This game is so fun, if you enjoy a good smack in the face. Everyone always has a screaming good time at these parties. What you do is get a blind fold, tie it on one member of the party, and then everyone lines up and smacks them in the face. Backhand, front hand, but no closed fist please. So go ahead, Guess who smacked your face!! Not suitable for crybabies, or people with a low tolerance for pain.

Now what are you waiting for? Choose any of these fun and exciting party ideas and have a great time!

Great Party Ideas or Somewhat Good Party Ideas- Or, maybe just party ideas that I think are good.

The Show and Tell Party-

This would be a fun party, everyone would bring something that they thought no one else had ever seen. These items may also be items that everyone has seen, but possibly there is a new use for them that no one else has thought of.

Random Food Party

Invite a minimum of 10 people or 5 couples. All of them must bring one uncooked item. Assign each of them a food group, but give them no other specifics. Then when everyone gets there, create a dish using the random ingredients. A good idea would be to have lots of appetizers just in case the random items produce random tasting crap.

Festival Of Madness

This would be a fun party, everyone could come as someone that was insane. Uncle Fester, Kathy Bates from Misery, or they could come in a straight jacket. Some people could just come as themselves.
Bobbing for apples would be a must at this party. Lots of mattressess applied to the walls would add to the feeling of a madhouse. Taped shrieks and cries from real insane asylums would give the entire affair an aura of authenticity. Other food items could include. Katatonic Koolaid, Schizophrenic Spaghetti, and Deviled Dementia- my personal favorite.

Fried Bologna and Pork Skins party

This is a favorite among people who watch Jerry Springer. Get a few packages of Bologna, a skillet, a bottle of mustard, some white bread, a Pepsi, a Moon Pie, a bag of pork rinds, a wife beater, 8 dogs, 9 kids... and let the party begin!!

Mr. T Starter Kit party

Most likely your friends won't shave their heads- I know mine won't. But who doesn't have that extra large gold or silver chain just sitting in their junk drawer or in their jewelry box just waiting to be donned atop a Knicks or Mavs jersey, or maybe even just a wife beater? Shoot, everybody has a Mr. T starter kit at the heezy, but no one has any place to show it off at. Well here you go. First of all you need as much gold jewelry as possibly. All shirts need to be sleeveless. Camo pants are a bonus. Talking in short phrases such as "I pity the poor fool!" "Stay in school" "Don't do drugs" "First name is mister, middle name period, last name T" these phrases must pepper all conversations. These parties are always a huge success.

The Special Talent Party

This party is not for the meek. You get a few friends together and you show off your special talent. So maybe you are really good at eating, bring a huge sub sandwich and eat it real fast for everyone, perhaps you are really good at pogo sticking. Man I was, I was also really good on the sit and spin and the Big wheel- (Cut to me doing 360's all over the road.) Remember people, keep it clean, a few distasteful special talents can bring this party down quick.

The "Guess who smacked my face" party.

This game is so fun, if you enjoy a good smack in the face. Everyone always has a screaming good time at these parties. What you do is get a blind fold, tie it on one member of the party, and then everyone lines up and smacks them in the face. Backhand, front hand, but no closed fist please. So go ahead, Guess who smacked your face!! Not suitable for crybabies, or people with a low tolerance for pain.

Now what are you waiting for? Choose any of these fun and exciting party ideas and have a great time!

Great Party Ideas or Somewhat Good Party Ideas- Or, maybe just party ideas that I think are good.

The Show and Tell Party-

This would be a fun party, everyone would bring something that they thought no one else had ever seen. These items may also be items that everyone has seen, but possibly there is a new use for them that no one else has thought of.

Random Food Party

Invite a minimum of 10 people or 5 couples. All of them must bring one uncooked item. Assign each of them a food group, but give them no other specifics. Then when everyone gets there, create a dish using the random ingredients. A good idea would be to have lots of appetizers just in case the random items produce random tasting crap.

Festival Of Madness

This would be a fun party, everyone could come as someone that was insane. Uncle Fester, Kathy Bates from Misery, or they could come in a straight jacket. Some people could just come as themselves.
Bobbing for apples would be a must at this party. Lots of mattressess applied to the walls would add to the feeling of a madhouse. Taped shrieks and cries from real insane asylums would give the entire affair an aura of authenticity. Other food items could include. Katatonic Koolaid, Schizophrenic Spaghetti, and Deviled Dementia- my personal favorite.

Fried Bologna and Pork Skins party

This is a favorite among people who watch Jerry Springer. Get a few packages of Bologna, a skillet, a bottle of mustard, some white bread, a Pepsi, a Moon Pie, a bag of pork rinds, a wife beater, 8 dogs, 9 kids... and let the party begin!!

Mr. T Starter Kit party

Most likely your friends won't shave their heads- I know mine won't. But who doesn't have that extra large gold or silver chain just sitting in their junk drawer or in their jewelry box just waiting to be donned atop a Knicks or Mavs jersey, or maybe even just a wife beater? Shoot, everybody has a Mr. T starter kit at the heezy, but no one has any place to show it off at. Well here you go. First of all you need as much gold jewelry as possibly. All shirts need to be sleeveless. Camo pants are a bonus. Talking in short phrases such as "I pity the poor fool!" "Stay in school" "Don't do drugs" "First name is mister, middle name period, last name T" these phrases must pepper all conversations. These parties are always a huge success.

The Special Talent Party

This party is not for the meek. You get a few friends together and you show off your special talent. So maybe you are really good at eating, bring a huge sub sandwich and eat it real fast for everyone, perhaps you are really good at pogo sticking. Man I was, I was also really good on the sit and spin and the Big wheel- (Cut to me doing 360's all over the road.) Remember people, keep it clean, a few distasteful special talents can bring this party down quick.

The "Guess who smacked my face" party.

This game is so fun, if you enjoy a good smack in the face. Everyone always has a screaming good time at these parties. What you do is get a blind fold, tie it on one member of the party, and then everyone lines up and smacks them in the face. Backhand, front hand, but no closed fist please. So go ahead, Guess who smacked your face!! Not suitable for crybabies, or people with a low tolerance for pain.

Now what are you waiting for? Choose any of these fun and exciting party ideas and have a great time!

Johnny Appleseed

The lord is good to me, and so I thank the Lord, for giving me the things I need, the sun and the rain and the appleseed the Lord is good to me.

Humbled I stand before the lord. Here I am, big, ugly, worthless me, and yet, he finds ways to use me. I am nothing special, but I have little windows of opportunity here and there to help out people and that makes me happy. I get to help people move furniture, I get to mentor young men and we keep each other accountable, I get to go on trips where I can volunteer and I get to see peoples lives changed. It is a blessing, and I thank God for it. Thank you Lord.

If you notice, the last week or so I have faced a few challenges. Somtimes I get negative and I think that everything in my life stinks, and then God reminds me of how AMAZING he is, and blessed I am.

This weekend alone I got to fly to Knoxville, Tennessee, hang out with good friends- make some new ones, watch peoples lives get changed, and then today I got to play Ultimate Frisbee. Wow.

Some nice things about Tennesee.

Big College- UT.
Lots of Trees- almost too many.
Clean- where I was the whole time it was nice and clean.
Tennessee River- WOW- it is really, really pretty.
Nice people. We worked with a lot of Volunteers, I met an especially cute one named Heather- Hi Heather! Just kidding, she knows nothing about this website and probably won't even remember my name, but she teaches 6th grade reading and she was so inquisitive about everything. I love inquisitive people when they inquisite about the right things.
Good Food- we ate at a place called Rafferty's. Delicious grilled burgers, mashed potatoes, cheese sticks, buffalo chicken fingers, and an amazing brownie Sunday- Delicious.

Oh, by the way, Jamie McCracken said that Identity, that new movie that is just out- is really scary, but good. Watch out for the language though.
Congratulations again to Josh Wiese and Erika Leo- they are engaged. Great, Great people- could I love them anymore? Nope.
Okay, that's enough for now- must take shower- way too much frisbee....

I love listening to foreigners talk, especially when it is Chinese, or Indian. These languages are so different and complex that you can't pick out words or anything. For instance if I say, "Vamos a la Cafeteria" then you would know that I was saying something about the cafeteria. But, if I said, Shukria, would you know that means "thank you" in Hindi? I doubt it. That is the best thing about working for a big company like TI, you get to meet so many people from all over the world, and sometimes you get to become good friends with some and you get to learn all about their cultures and beliefs. It is very eye-opening. As Americans we are very myopic, and ethnocentric people, and we just assume so much- well, I know I do/did.

More to come...

Some more things I hate- Since I am on this kick-

1. Tattle Tales- I thought when you got older you didn't have to deal with those, today, I was proved wrong and the worst part, I didn't do anything!!
2. Sore Muscles- ones that are sore, not from working out, but from being pulled or twisted- something is wrong with the muscle inside the back of my frickin knee- OUCH!
3. Frozen dinners- they are never really all that good, sometimes you think they are, or you talk yourself into liking them, but they aren't good, nor are they good for you.
4. Watching people eat nasty stuff on fear factor
5. The sound of other people peeing, and sometimes even myself
6. Talking on my cell phone without my hands free- my head hurts afterward, it has to be positioned perfectly over my ear hole or I can't hear you.
7. Wind- it interferes with frisbee and the speed of my driving, and really serves no other purposes besides perhaps circulation of air, but that's what fans are for.
8. Emotions- they are always screwing things up between friends, families, lovers, etc. Who needs them?
9. Black-eyed peas, no matter how you fix them, I still think they taste like dirt- some people even put honey or sugar in theirs, but they just taste like sweet dirt.
10.Underwear that's too tight, or those boxers that are made out of material that don't give when you bend or stretch so you have to buy them really big, unless you have no leg muscles at all, then you can buy them pretty small I guess.
11. Stinky cologne or perfume- why is it that the stinky ones are the ones people bathe in?
12. Cherry topping out of a can.
13. Chapped lips
14. Ashy skin- when did I become so dry? Before or after 27? I think after.

I am sure there will be more to come, it is amazing how freeing it is to get things off your chest. I probably just added a couple years to my life.

So maybe I am Anal about a few things...

a few things to remember about me:

1. I hate voicemails- normally I see that you called on caller ID and I am just not ready to talk. I talk on the phone for a living, yesterday I was on the phone for 3.5 hours with the same guy! 3 and a half hours!!!!!! So, maybe I don't ever want to talk on the phone again after a call like that- trust me, it is not you.
2. Don't you dare not respond to one of my emails, I don't care who you are. Perhaps I sent out a group email, okay, then maybe you can just ignore it, but if I personally ask you a question in an email and the question is to benefit you, or any way related to you, then I expect an answer, and if I don't get one, then I will put you on my ignore list so that you can't send me emails ever again. and secretly I will hate you just a little bit- you stupid, non-communicative butthole.
3. Don't ever shush me. I hate being shushed, and keep your chubby hands off me, you can get my attention without touching me with your hands.
4. Learn how to read people. If I am not listening, it is obvious, so why do you keep talking?
5. Understand that I am high maintenance at times, I do a lot for people, I go the extra mile, I will give you my left leg if you ask me too, but when I need you, I need you- and it is very rare that I need you. So, if you are not there for me when I need you, then I will never ask you for another favor again, and if I do, I gaurantee you it will only be to see if you wil do it or not. Yes, I am working on forgiveness, say a prayer for me- now.
6. Please move out of my way when I am driving. I am tired of you being on the road and not in a hurry. I work 45 miles from home, I am always in a hurry, I don't care if the light is red, I want you to drive up to the red light as if your butt is on fire, or as if you have diarrhea. Move it you slow, hideous person, or else I will slam my fist down on my horn so hard that my hands hurt, and I have released all frustration. If that don't work, I might jus run you over- what have I got to lose? Trust me- not much.
7. Know that even though I get mad, frustrated, and I need to vent, that I am still the nice guy that you know. .

Now please GET OUT OF MY FACE!!!

Easter Beaster

Yesterday was Easter Sunday and when I should have been enjoying the celebration of our Lord's Resurrection, instead I was holding back a torrent of fury that I wanted to unleash on one of my relatives. Only the love I have for my sister, and the fact that it was Easter Sunday kept me from uleashing a right hand of correction, followed by a knee of truth. It is so hard being the bigger man sometimes. Yes, I am sure it takes more of a man to hold back your emotions, but sometimes I just want to put down the nice facade and punch the crap out of someone. When you are 6 foot 5 three hundred pounds then people don't allow you to get mad. They expect you to just be able to take it, but dad gummit we are just as human as anyone else, our size does not negate our feelings, or our capicity to hurt- you.

Well, I am going to make a smoothie now and shut up before I say someting I regret.

Hope your Easter was pleasant.

Love Potion number 9...

I wish I had some. It is hard being in love with someone, or wondering if you are, or thinking that you are, or hoping that you are, but then finding out that person doesn't feel the same. You try to tell yoruself that it isn't a big deal, but yourself cannot be fooled this time. You think about that person, you try to act like things are normal, but you get all fidgety and stupid when they are around. It is not easy to explain. You notice everything when you are in love, the way the hair falls, the way the cheeks dimple, the way the collar bones are so sculpted and perfect. You don't see any imperfections- it is true what the Bible says, "love IS blind". When you really love someone you hurt when they hurt, it makes you sad to know their insecurities because you love them just the way they are. You love their imperfections, it makes you feel better about your own, but to you they are not imperfections, they are what make that person special.

Love is amazing. You will do anything to hear that person laugh, to protect them from pain, you want to give them the world, and if they won't have it, then you want to cry, and be sad, but you still want them to be happy. And so you watch from a distance, smiling, wondering, wishing, living, but knowing that a piece of you is missing, because when your heart was shattered, some pieces could never be put back in place.

So I say this to you Tina Turner- What's love got to do with it? Everything.

Took the GRE today- I did good, it was not so much hard as it was lengthy and you don't have a lot of time to think over your answers.

I passed with plenty of room to spare, but the requirements for a Master's in Secondary Education aren't that high.

Some of the best things in life are...

Doggies
Children
Chinese food
Blue Skies
Jennifer Lopez
Good Movies
Good Friends
Air Conditioning
Frisbee
Comfortable Underwear
Washing Machines
Hot Showers
Good water pressure

Dixie took me for a walk yesterday. I tried to run with her, but she ran too fast, and I can never run fast enough to where she thinks we are running at a comfortable pace. Then, once a pace is established, she smells something and decides to just stop and smell it. So, I would run, and then stop, and then run. The best thing about taking a dog with you on a walk is everyone looks at the dog instead of looking at you. I am big and people seem to be amazed or frightened when they see me running toward them. With a cute doggie, people just smile and assume that you are a nice person because mean people don't own cute doggies.

I have been eating better and I am in love with Kroger's salad bar. It has crab salad and pasta salad and 3 kinds of lettuce and spinach and I could go on forever- and it is cheap. You can get a lot of salad for like 3-4 dollars.

It is good stuff.

THIS JUST IN...HIGH SPEED CHASE!!

This morning I was running on Eagle. I was almost to Carroll St. when all of the sudden I hear all these sirens- lots of them. Well, I am just slowly walking along when this Taurus Station wagon comes blazing past me. Then, I am not exaggerating at all- about 10 cop cars are right behind him. It was a HIGH SPEED CHASE!! Right here in Little Denton! I was super excited. My first day to work 1-10pm and already it starts with a bang. Well, the station wagon loses control, goes into the grass when it tries to turn onto Carroll, however, it regains control and continues to speed away. Well, I still have a mile left on my run to get back home, so I jog home and 3 houses down on OUR street is the Ford Taurus and about 4 cop cars. The funny thing was I actually saw the man and the woman getting taken away in the police car! Then they had the drug dog sniffing all around and I had to act like I was still jogging even though I was really just being nosy! It was pretty exciting.

Well, I have to go get some healthy foods now. I switched shifts so I could start running and working out in the morning- yeah, I am looking pretty swole already. I hit some triceps, and biceps and my shoulders were looking so puny that I had to hit them a little bit too. I will keep you posted on my progress. I start diets at least once a month, about two weeks into it I just give up. But the good thing is I usually lose 10 pounds or so, and then I put them back on and then lose them- so at least I don't get any fatter...

Must shower now- be sure to check out my newest page- "How to make me laugh..."

Also, this morning on the UNT campus in chalk was written- "Jesus Loves Fags!" I don't know why but I thought this was odd- it is true, but I rarely see Jesus and Fag in the same sentence- and Fag is so rarely used anymore to describe homos.

My dad and I have dinner every other week- just me and him. It is fun and we get to talk about stuff. Well, last night we were eating pizza at this little place in Sanger. Good Pizza. We were eating upstairs when this lady came up that my dad knew- her name was Josie. Well, he told me all her life she raised kids that weren't her own- about 8 in total! But, she never got married. Finally, after she had already reached the age of proably 37-39 she met a man, fell in love with him and planned a big wedding. Unfortunately, 2 weeks before the wedding he dropped dead. It wasn't a heart attack, he just died, you know one of those freak accidents.

So, I have heard it is better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all, but I don't know about that. When I have loved and lost there is a piece of me that is gone forever. And that piece, that void, can sometimes cause more hurt than I ever felt before. I think sometimes I would rather not know what that feeling is.

I AM NOT A CONSPIRACY THEORIST-

however, I do wonder if this war with Irag is just the end of the beginning.

What I mean is, I have been watching the progress of this war and it seems almost too easy. Sure, it is what I expected, but I fear retaliation. Perhaps I have read to many Robert Ludlum novels? Or maybe everyone is thinking the same thing. All I know, is that if I was an evil ruler, and someone came into my country and destroyed it, and made a mockery of me, I would want nothing more than to get them back- even if I died in the process. I hope that Saddam is already dead, but who knows? God. (I asked him to tell me if Saddam was dead and he told me that he wasn't a Genie in a Bottle.)

On a lighter note-

Did anyone watch the Cher special last night? I have never been a huge Cher fan, but she does have that certain allure- she is very enigmatic. I was entranced by her singing and her stage presense and her almost masculine ways. That is what I finally figured out- Cher is tough. She don't take crap, she is very beautiful, but she is not very feminine. Her voice is deep, and she carries herself in a way as if to say- "I am the baddest girl you will ever meet- I don't need to do anything to make me feel superior to you- I am superior to you." So why do people love her? Because despite her superiority, she does not belittle the little people. She is like a princess and people want to worship her- regal, supreme, great. I don't want to worship her though. Personally I think she is amazing, she is like Michael Jackson without the bad-everything- (even her plastic surgery is better), everyone knows her name, has grown up with her, admired her, and through all of it, she has remained on top. I am not a big fan, I don't like a lot of her music, but I admire her staying power, her determination, and her creativity. She is an artist, and she is a work of art.

What is the deal with those people who join the DMA? (Dallas Museum of Art) Do they all drive Jetta's or Passats? Do you have to drive a Volkswagen to be artistic? And is part of being artistic taking you DMA sticker and just applying it at random to your window? I have never seen any of those stickers "centered" or placed in such a way as to look like they took some thought in placing the sticker on their car. I love art. But I do not use my car to advertise that I am part of an uppity group of people who claim to support "The Arts" only to get a sticker that will make them part of some club. Paying a 25.00 dollar membership fee does not make you artistic or classy, however, it will support a good cause so I won't continue to judge or belittle you. I would like to see you place your sticker on your car though with some forethought and ask your kids not to play with it- those 5000 little fingerprints around it looks a little tacky- ever heard of windex? yeah, it's a window cleaner and now you can even get a can of windex wipes...

Oh my stars and garders! Yeah, I used to watch the Mr. T cartoon- I loved it, I wanted to be one of those kids that was a gymnast- they could kick butt and do cartwheels- why was I so fascinated with Gymnastics as a kid? This also reminds me of Molly Shannon on SNL when she did a sketch with Jackie Chan- she started a new type of aerobics called Gymnasty. What did she mean by that? Shame on you Jackie Chan and Molly Shannon.

So, back to my original reason for logging on was that today- while I was at work, I decided I wanted to eat alone and read some of my novel. Well, the most bizarre set of events happened. As I am walking in, I see this girl who is dressed like a "lady of the evening" for lack of a better word. Well, she is wearing short cut-off jean shorts, and purple 80's looking half shirt. She had the 70's hair wave going, some cheap perfume, and all the jewelry that she probably owned rounding out her outfit. She did have nice legs though- I noticed them right off the bat and chastised myself because I thought she was probably a bratty teenager from Clark High School here in Plano. Well, I figured she was one of the unpopular girls, becuase all the popular girls at Plano high know how to dress trampy without looking white trash- trust me, I have seen my fair share of those girls too.

As I am walking in, the aforementioned girl holds the door open for me, I say, "thanks!" in a rather shocked town and she mumbles something unintelligible. I think she is probably a 2 dollar crack ho- (pardon my language, but I don't know how else to describe her) and is messed up in the head. I walk up to the register and order my food, suprised that she has the money to buy her own food. For some reason I got the vibe that she was going to try to hit me up for some cash. I don't know what it is about being a big man, but women seem to think that I have money, money to hand out, and all they have to do is bat their doey eyes at me- which most of the time does work by the way, but not this time. The problem is I have no cash, so I am actually gald that she didn't ask, because even though I am wary of this girl, she is still a woman, a woman that is misdirected and lost, but a woman nonetheless- and did I mention that she has GREAT legs? Well, she does, and my eyes are doing their darndest not to notice as I fill my drink and go and sit at the table.

My food is ready and I go and pick it up and settle down into a quiet lunch of taco's, burrito's and Dr. Pepper. I have read one full page of my Greg Iles novel when guess who walks up and asks if she can sit with me. Now, don't stat thinking that I am excited about this- I am not- not at all. Who asks to sit with a total stranger? Especially one that is as big as me! Apparently she sensed the gentleness of spirit that I possess, or maybe she caught me sneaking a peak at those non-stop legs, or maybe she is a psycho packing a glock and she is going to tell me to keep my mouth shut, pick up my food, and then force me to drive her to mexico where she is going to deliver her kilo of cocaine. But that doesn't happen, she just sits and stares out the window and tells me how she walks there everyday for lunch and never has anyone to talk to. I eat there a lot myself, so I think this is some sort of line, but maybe her lunchtime varies. Maybe.

She continues to tell me that she has a 10 year old son, and a couple of other ones living with foster people because CPS took them away. Her mother is a prude and a Mormon, and in less nasty words, tells her that she dresses like a tramp. At this point I raise my eyebrows in a mock tone suggesting- "No, that's silly, that's crazy, Ignorance". Apparently she is as delusional as Michael Jackson.

She then tells me that her father don't understand her, and he would flip out if her knew she was talking to a 19 year old boy- not me, another guy she apparently thrust herself on during lunch.

We chat about nothing and everything, she does most of the talking. I listen and find my eyes drifting over her hair. It's bleached, been died about 3 times, and is in need of a hot oil treatment. Her eye shadow is silver, but other than that she don't wear much make up. Nice teeth, eyes almost baby blue, skin is nice, but she looks like she has fake baked a couple times too many. She is not unattractive at all, from a distance I would say she was "hot", but as you get closer, you see she is a little rough around the edges.

Her hot pink fingernails have white designs on them. I notice her playing with the pointer finger, and across the top the words- "Sexy" are scrawled across in a small, but fancy script. She's really sweet, and by the time I tell her to leave, she let's me go. I am suprised again that she doesn't offer to sell me anything, or ask me to drive her somewhere, but she does turn around and at the last minute tell me to do something that makes me happy. This was odd since I only mentioned that I was going back to school to be a teacher, and her mother was a teacher. But, I thought it was really sweet that in just a few minutes this crazy psycho lady had enough sense to at least leave me with a kind word. She didn't want anything, just someone to talk to, it was a little disconcerting, but also a little sad.

Sometimes I am so disappointed in Thursday night TV- I don't know if I am not in the mood, or if the shows are just lame- but last night I just wasn't in to Friends, W&G and Scrubs. Scrubs was the worst, it may as well have been porn. However, Dr. Cox's humor totally cracks me up. He is mean, and belittling to everyone around them, he don't take crap, he don't like babies, and he don't like you- yeah, I feel that way a lot. But last night was just nasty, so we flipped around the channels and just talked. Cody came by and we kicked it. It was good times.

School is such a beast sometimes. I am taking online classes and I think that because they are online, they feel like they need to inundate you with busywork. I read through pages and pages of text only to reaize later that they have nothing to do with the actual assignment. This semester is better than last semester. Last semester it was like my teacher was schizophrenic- the right hand didn't know what the left hand was doing, she spoke out of both sides of her mouth! You get the idea. Truth be told, I will be glad when this semester is over- I can't wait to start teaching in the fall! Even if I have to do an internship, I am going to do it!

Driving in my car I recalled a memory that was tucked way back deep in the recesses of my mind. I remember when I was very little that I used to sit on my dad's lap and he would let me drive. He would let me hold the steering wheel while we were cruising down the highway, and his hands wouldn't even be on it. What a wonderful time. I was so little, at the time, I thought I was all grown up, but I had to be pretty small to fit on my dad's lap. It is funny how we look to our parents when we are younger, and when we are older. The constant need for their approval and support, the desire to please them and to make them proud. I have parents that are easy to please. When I tell a joke, they all laugh, when I make a B on my report card- even now, they applaude, when I show up at their house unexpected, you would think that I had brought them a million dollars- they get so excited. It is a warm feeling, a special feeling, knowing that you are loved, and that no matter what you do, or who you are- you are their child and they will always love you. My parents are the best.

Made some Tortilla Soup for dinner- it was really good, needed more salt, but it was still yummy. It was my first attempt, and I as quite pleased with myself. If it starts out good, then I just improve it as I go. Man, that sounds arrogant- but it is not intended to be. Good food and good cooking take time. I normally don't fix food for people that I haven't cooked numerous times for myself, that way, I know it is delicious. Every now and then, if I have a trusted friend- like Jimmy McWhinney, then I will let them try one of my "first timers". He gave it a thumbs up, tortilla soup doesn't have to be super to be good, you add chips and cheese and freshly sliced ripe avocados and it is delicious- at least I thought so. I ate until I was about to bust and the purpose of the soup was to have a "light" dinner!

I bought some apples to eat- a big bag of them that I took to work. They are really good, Granny Smith, I like to eat them with peanut butter. I have decided to add a couple of fruits a day to my diet- (I can think of so many jokes about that one!)

That's about it for now-