Eddo on... Textile Conversions.


I like to dance, sing, cook, photograph, write, build, and dream. My latest dream is to learn how to sew. I see clothes sometimes, and I think, "hey, that's pretty cool, I would like to try doing something like that" Once I went to Hobby Lobby and I looked around and I thought, hmmm, there is some cool fabric here, I would like to make something out of it. So, now I am looking into getting a sewing machine and trying my hand at textile conversion. That is what I am going to call it- Textile Conversions by Eddo. It sounds much more masculine than- Eddo's Designs, and much cooler than Eddo's Shirts.

I would like to make clothes that are rugged, and cool. I don't really have any desire to make pants, just shirts right now. Button up shirts.

Fogo de What? Fogo De Chao (pronounced chow)

Happy Birthday Mrs. Talburt- or as those of us close to her call her Mrs. T. I don't know how it is possible to be 40 and still look so young- I think that someone in that family must know magic- I think it is Mr. T, because he must have worked some kind of spell on Mrs. T in the first place in order to capture her heart!

Mrs. T also does this Ventriloquism act with a doll named Danny- it is so good it is FREAKY! She is A-M-A-ZING!!! So, Mr. T got a surprise party together last night for Mrs. T at Fogo and there were 40 people there! WOW! I was in heaven.

The evening was spectacular, and so was the attire worn by the women. Mrs. T wore a two piece turqoise esemble designed by Gautier. Her matching stone jewelry created especially for her from Tiffany's radiated around her neck.

Nikki Elliot wore a shoulder bearing creation borrowed from illustrious roommate Amanda Adams, apparently the acquisition of this item required some sneakery. She accented the delightful floral top with black capri pants and flats by Manolo.

Natalie Talburt wore a one piece black dress from the J-LO collection. Her blonde tresses glowed as they flowed down her backand reminded us all a bit of Beyonce Knowles formerly of Destiny's Child. Her only jewelry was her perfect white teeth that sparkled and lit up the whole room.

Shannon wore a white 50/50 cotton poly blend sleeveless top in a sheer white matched neatly to a black knee length skirt. Her rosy cheeks and overall tone and musculature were complemented by this simple yet chic outfit. (thank you alan meadows for the correct spelling/usage of chic, instead of sheik!)

Janie Joe sported the latest in a throw back to Little House on the Prarie. Her country girl summer dress was spaghetti strapped and sprinkled with flowers, sugar, spice, and everything nice. Her longer hair befitting a girl in the 6th grade gave her an uptown-girl look with an "I'm still a kid flare".

JD and Garret Talburt surprised each other by showing up in matching black Polo shirts, Cargos sans belt, and similar shoes.

The attire was not the only thing that stood out at Fogo de Chao. As always this Brazilian Churrascaria prepared meats the Gaucho way and provided service that was befitting of kings. Skewered meats are brought to the table in 15 different varieties, potatoes, fried bananas, fried polentas, cheese biscuits- and a salad bar that looks as if it was created in the Garden of Eden was also available. As if this were not enough, desserts were also provided in a sumptuous variety. Nikki had the creme brulee, I had the chocolate mousse cake, and Taylor Talburt had the Papaya Creme, which he allowed Nik and I to sample- according to Nikki the Papaya Creme was "To Die For".

Coffees were also served, gifts were opened, hugs, kisses and tears flowed. It was a night that I would not have missed for the world!

Mrs. T Happy Birthday!!!

Mr. T- Bravo! You have outdone yourself- which I thought at this point was impossible to do. Thanks for a wonderful evening.

Back Tax Hell-

I have some back taxes that are owed to the IRS. Don't get me started on how, but, there was a time when I made serious bank and I didn't have taxes taken out.

So, I have been making these payments now for a while- and get this- for every 100 dollars I pay- only 5 of it goes on the principal of the loan! Only 5 dollars!! I didn't realize this until I looked at my statement and it had the starting balance, payments made, and then ending balance. The absolutely infuriating this is that when I set this up, I asked if they could tell me what the penalties were/are and she said that it "is hard to tell", "it changes" she kept side stepping the question. Then she gave me some figure on the interest that told me I was paying about 20 dollars a month in interest- which I figured was fair, but she faild to inform me of the penalties that are twice as much as the interest.

So, needless to say, I had to run right out and get me a giant Dr. Pepper to help me cope with the stress of this insurmountable debt that I am being swallowed up in. And that is just the IRS.


Now, I have to deal with the stress of finding a new job, I have already given my notice at work, and I don't know if I am going to go through with this student teaching or not. However, I don't want to stay here at TI. I am at a Crossroads. I am vexed, I am terribly vexed right now.

So, two things you can do for me-

1. Start praying immediately that God reigns down on me some mercy and a nice paying job.
2. Find me the number of Dr. Kevorkian so I can end this madness a nice painless way.

I've got a new attitude!

Well, my life is about to change drastically this fall. Most people don't take leaps of faith as often as I do, I find that the more I do it, the larger my leaps become.

Some current goals that I need to layout so that you will know what I'll be doing this fall, and where I will be.

1. I must keep winning! I won 106 dollars today on Kiss FM. This was a lot of fun, winning always is, and I like it so much, that I am going to do it more often.
2. I will be quitting my job at Texas Instruments middle of August. These are my options for the Fall- (a) Student teach and then work my butt off in the evenings and try to make ends meet. (b) Find a job that pays ASAP (c) Move to Baylor, become a graduate assistant, get free room, board, and discounted tuition and work on my Masters in Anthropology. I like C, it is my first choice, I would like to go to Baylor and my buddy Joe Bruner says there is an opening for a Technology assistant at Baylor- this would be cool.
3. I need to lost about 30 pounds. Image is everything. I have decided that in this life, you don't have to be smart to get ahead, you just have to be attractive. If you are attractive, you can get away with more, and people will generally just open up doors for you- it sounds shallow, but it's true!
4. Stop spending money completely. I think with my career change, unless God decides to bless me with a Job at Marcus or Dallas ISD, I will be making considerably less than my current pay rate- which has become quite cozy in the last few months.
5. Tell the girl I am interested in that I am interested in her. I have been waiting for the right moment for the last 4 years, but alas, that moment when I have the right job, and the right musculature, may never come, and our child bearing years are dwindling.

Okay, that is all I can think of for now.

I had a great weekend spending time with Joe and Amber Bruner up in Waco. We just chilled out and watched Trading Spaces and went to Ninfa's and just had an overall good time. They are more than good friends, they are family. Joe is like my big brother, I find very few men in this day and age that I want to pattern my life after- Joe is one of the few.

I went to see Nando Betancur in his lead role in the play "Pippin". Nando is brilliant! I miss him, he moved off to OU last year, but he moved out of my life long before that. He and I used to kick it all the time at Wendy's and Taco Bell when he was younger- I was his leader at DBC and I have him to thank for countless calories eaten at very late hours, but I still love the brat.

Last night we watched The Truth about Charlie- we being Josh Pulattie, Dumas, Cody, (a.k.a CMILLERLIGHT), Booch and myself. This is one of the most miserable movies of all time. It is dizzying and poorly put together, and lame all across the board. Save your money!! It stars Thandie Newton, and Mark Wahlberg so we thought it would be good- but nope, it wasnt'.

Okay, that's all for now- good night dear diary.

Check it...

If you just read my entry about Olive Garden, then you will love what DOOCE has to say- she is a riot, except her site is rated PG-13 for profanity. (I don't think there is anything morally wrong with profanity, I don't think it is worse than drinking a beer, but in our society, as Christians, we have to live above reproach, so we abstain from such vulgarities.) Dooce has a way of telling a story that is entertaining and hilarious, and it is funny that it relates to the Olive Garden.

On another note, my blogger has been acting up, so if I get double posts about the same thing, please ignore.

Also, on the eddo shorts- that is short stories. A short story can be anything from 1 to 100 pages, so please don't look at the stories and be surprised.

Olive Garden's Newest Dish

When cooking at home in my 20 years of cooking, I have never cooked a label, a lid, a hairball, or a fingernail into anything that I have ever made. I have cooked for groups as large as 22 before, I have had multiple people helping me, I have been in a hurry, but never has anything strange or bizarre ended up in food that I have prepared.

So how does stuff like this happen in restaurants? I just don't get it. A long time ago a group of friends were eating at "Good Eats" and my best friend Joe Bruner found a hair ball in his food! One time at Pizza Hut there was a lid to a bottle baked neatly into the cheese of our pizza, a friend of mine found what looked like a large toe nail or finger nail in her salad at Taco Bueno, and last night there was a sticker in my lasagna that said, "Use before Sunday" in it. We had the manager come by and take a look and we got free dessert, but that does not excuse the fact that there was a label in my food. This particular label was only about the size of a dime, it could have easily fallen off of something and slipped into the lasagna, but stil- I have made lasagna before and no labels were found in it.

The manager came over and she was like, "well at least you know we use labels and fresh food" and I said, "well, I think I ate one of them already. It was so good, next time I think I will just order a plate of labels!" It was light-hearted and we were laughing, other than that the food was delicious for Olive Garden which I think is the McDonalds of Italian food- but sometimes I like McDonalds.

If you want to see a Great movie this year, see Finding Nemo, if you want to see a swashbucking, adventure with amazing special effects- see The Pirates of the Carribean- it is awesome. I saw it twice this weekend. I won't go into details, just GO- GO NOW!

Job Hunting Blues

Emailed my resume out to twenty five public schools- da na na na na,
Only got one response, and they called me a fool- da na na na na
So I sent me resume to fifty private schools and they all laughed at me
Just cause I am not certified- I STILL HAVE A DEGREE...

I got the blues. (Insert back up singers here saying 'he's got the blues' in a really high voice)
Oh, I got the blues
I got the job hunting, I aint certified, but I don't want to student teach and not get paid for it blues....

So I called up Mr. Noto- da na na na na
He works at Liberty
I think he put me on ignore
Cause he hasn't answered me....

DId I mention I got the blues? (he's got the blues)

I got the no one wants to hire me, I am the best, why can't they see, someone, someone notice me pleaaassse blues...

That's right.

Dental Delusions

Why do people hate the dentist? Is it because of the pain? The sound of that wicked drill in your mouth? The aching jaws and the stretched lips? The high cost despite the insurance? The dumb questions that are asked of you when they know you can't talk with that monstrous piece of plastic in your mouth?

I just had a root canal and two fillings done and I am in pain. My mouth hurts, my head hurts, my ears hurt. My wallet hurts. Two trips, 4 hours, and 400 dollars later I have three repaired teeth- and I still have to go to an Entodontist for one more really bad root canal.

So why did I wait so long to get these taken care of- did you see the list of reason's above? I don't like pain, I don't like sitting in that dental chair for hours at a time, I don't like spending the money. However, since my insurance will end when I quit my job in August- then I needed to get my teeth all fixed asap. It is kind of nice getting them all taken care of, but wow! It sure does hurt.

I remember last time I went to the dentist this little boy was sitting in the room next to me and his dad kept telling him, be still or you are going to get a spanking. Don't swallow, sit still, stop moving, be quiet- man, I sure was glad that wasn't my dad- I couldn't imagine getting a spanking after just having a root canal or something at that age. All the more reason to hate dentists.

Be My Guest...


i love having people stay over. it reminds me of a slumber party, or a camp out, or a sleep over. last week for dw's wedding, we had a bachelor party for him and three of the guys stayed the night at our pad- not including dw. since dw used to live there, it is really not the same as a new person staying the night.

jimmy's house is a great place for having multiple people stay at once. with jimmy and luker gone, we have both their empty beds and then booch resurrected this old bed from some dung heap and placed it in the floor of his room. booch is good at taking crap, and turning it into something wonderful, and special. he is sort of like martha stewart, but with magical powers. booch is also tidy. he cleans up after the guests, and often times he cleans up after me. (you can find booches on sale now at Walgreens, Drug Emporium, and other fine stores.)

another good thing about having multiple people stay over is that it is never boring. with guys, the humor cannot usually be repeated on a g-rated website, but let me just say ryan and rudy from arkansas- were really funny.

the best thing about having these guys over was that I was on pain meds all weekend, so the weekend passed in a euphoric haze. most of the time i didn't know where i was, and when we were playing x-box, i oftened wondered if the fighting people were real... it was awesome.

Mrs. Umbridge (And other People just like her)

In the latest installment of Harry Potter, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, I have noticed some frightening similarities between Professor Umbridge and some other people in my work environment.

Professor Umbridge is a toad like lady that has been assigned to the Hogwarts School of Wizardry as the High Inquisitor, she is also the teacher of Defense Against the Dark Arts. She has been hired by the Ministry of Magic to enforce some rules and regulations, but along the way, she comes up with an array of new rules to fit her wants and desires, and her wants and desires are to make everyone's life as miserable as possible.

Why is it that some people get a kick out of being unpliable, unyielding, arrogant, and unforgiving? Why do some people derive pleasure from punishing you for the slightest inadequacy?

Mrs. Umbridge's come along and they make everybody's life a living hell. The most amazing parallel to this fictional character and the real character that I speak of is the fact that they make new rules based upon their personal wants and desires.

Another character trait of these types of persons is their amazing ability to get support for their absurd ideas. Upper management merely sees an individual fastidiously trying to imporove their departments and instead of investigating their decisions, they just grant them power to do everything short of phyical torture.

I swear, the person I speak of, if allowed, would brandish us with a whip unseen since the days of Christs brutal beating with the cat of 9 tales.

These people are inpsired by the devil and they prey on the weaknesses of individuals. The systems that they think they support, will, in due time implode and crumble and crush them, perhaps not literally, but figuratively. And when the smoke clears and they are left standing bereft, friendless, and broken, it is doubtful that they will realize the error of their ways. People like this usually have a tendency to find fault in the institution, or others instead of themselves- thus, they move on to another place and start all over.

The world will never be free of people like Mrs. Umbridge- Unfortunately, those of us that have to put up with them have the freedom to move on.

Shut up! JUST SHUT UP!!

There are some times when getting to know your friendly neighborhood is a nice option.
Getting to know your neighbors while selling random crap at a yard sale is a great time to get to know people... While I am trying to bench press 275 pounds 8 times is not.

There is a reason that people act arrogant and stiff at the gym- it's because it is not a time to chit chat. It is not a time to tell me that you graduated from UNT back in 1955- (the year my mother was born), it is not the time to ask me about my relationships, or to talk to me period.

When I am at the gym, I have to be focused. I have a certain amount of time- usually 30 minutes to an hour to take my 300 pounds over to the stairmaster and get good and sweaty, and then the remainder of the time is spent pressing weights.

Does this sound rude? Maybe. Does this sound mean? Probably.

But what I want more than anything when I am at gym is to be left alone. Please don't comment about how big I am and ask me if I have ever played football, and why I am not playing now. Just because I have the physique to do something does not mean I have the desire. Trust me- desire is 99% of it.

Yes, I do know my calves are massive, no, I do nothing to work them out, so I cannot be proud of them- it is like bragging about being tall- I had nothing to do with it- or this amazingly wonderful shade of brown- that was my gift from God. (Thank you God by the way, it is a nice shade of brown and I do like being tall.)

Acceptable gym behavior- if I know you- is to give me a head nod, or at the most a "was' up" but don't expect to really find out "was' up" cause I have no time to tell you.

So, the next time I see you at the Gym, although we have been going to the same one for the last 5 years and we still look the same- do not come up to me and start bantering about anything. Do not mention the weather, do not make small talk- I will not think that you are rude, on the contrary, I will think you are awesome. Everyone who has ever worked out at the gym knows this unspoken law.

S.H.I.T.

A long time ago people realized that cow manure made great fertilizer. Becuase it was such a great fertilizer it was often dried out and shipped to other countries in boats, obviously it would be much lighter when dry. However, boats back in the 1700's and such would often times take on water and the cargo would get wet, so this boxed manure would get wet and produce methane gas which is highly explosive- as most gases tend to be. Many a ship was blown up becuase upon inspection of the cargo, a lantern would be used and as you would guess- the lantern would ignite the methane gas. To avoid this unpleasant mishap- boxes that were filled with manure were marked- "Ship High In Transit". As Americans often abbreviate everything, the word was abbreviated to S.H.I.T.

Here lately I feel like something that needs to be shipped high in transit. I have not played ultimate frisbee in 4 consecutive weeks. To me, frisbeeness is next to Godliness. It is the purging of my soul, it is my lifeblood and I have let other things get in the way of what is precious to me. Worse, I have a wedding to be in this weekend and I will miss frisbee again. I can think of nothing more horrible than this- 5 weeks in a row- this has not happened to me in the 3+ years I have been playing. I am about to implode.

The Great Cat Caper


We had first Thursday prayer this morning, so I was up earlier than usual.

After breakfasting with Cody, I decided to do some reading back at my house while lying in the bed. Heaven.

Well, Booch has to take the house Cat to the Vet- Stewart. The reason I call it the house cat is because the cat belongs to the house, not the residents. If the residents move- the cat stays.

I am reading and enjoying myself immensely when Booch starts complaining that Stewart does not look like Stewart. He calls to me and asks me to come and take a look- "Ugh" I have to pull myself back to reality to verify what I already know to be true. I barely look out the door at the cat and say- "Yes, that is Stewart". Both Senator and Booch are still unsure, they think that by some miracle, a slimmer, sleeker version of the identical cat just somehow magically appears in our yard. It just so happens that Stewart has an identical twin, and up until today- the day that we need to take it to the vet- has never before been seen in our yard. This same magical Kitty answers when you call it by the name of Stu- which is what we have called Stu since we found him in the backyard.

I just shook my head and went back
to my room. So I have settled in once again to a delicious read, when I am again interrupted by Booch, but this time it is on my cell phone.
"Yes" I say, trying not to show my annnoyance. I don't mind doing people favors, it is my nature to serve, but I love to read,and there are a few times you NEVER bother me, that is when I am reading, or when I am watching the very end of a movie.

"Are you sure Stewart had claws? This cat has claws" Booch says in a rather jovial tone.
"Well, I don't think he was ever de-clawed, so yes, he has claws" In my mind I wonder if maybe I dozed off and that this is some sort of nightmare, but alas, I am wide awake.

The phone rings again, so, once again, in the LAST chapter of my book, possibly 2 pages left, I am interrupted once again- and who could it be?

"Hi, Booch, what's up?"
"I need Nikki's Number"
"Why don't you call information?"
"It costs money"
Being the nice guy that I am, I walk to my computer, go to Yahoo Classifieds and bring up the number for him.

Now, perhaps I can get some peace.

"BRRRRRIINNNNNGGG!!" My phone rings a THIRD time.

"Hi, Booch, what now?" I don't think the irritation sounds in my voice,most of the time I am an impressive actor.
"Do you know where that pink card is? The one with the information for Stu? They can't find him in the database>"

Being of keen eye, and having the memory of an elephant, I saunter back into the "office" and pluck the pink card from my desk. I then read to him that Stewart is listed under the name of Amanda Adams. The lights come on all is well.

I go back to my book, thrice interrupted by phone, once in person. The book is done. The ending was so good, I had tears- I get emotional sometimes.

Anyway, I sure hope it was Stewart that he took to the vet- because truthfully, I don't think it was. Love ya Booch!

Whine Stopper!

If someone could invent a spray that would keep people from whining, they could make a fortune. It is okay to state the fact that you have a problem, but please do not repeatedly interrupt me while I am trying to assist you. Do not Huff, Do no Puff, Do no under any circumstances go into whine mode while you are relaying your problem. Just tell me, if I can fix it, I will- adding a double dose of whine on top will not make me resolve your problem faster. Also, in order for me to tell you how to fix your problem, I am going to need you to SHUT UP for 2 seconds- just 2. And then, once I do resolve your problem after you told me that you tried this same thing 82 times- and then it works, don't repeatedly tell me how amazed you are that it worked while I was on the phone- do not attempt to discredit my genius as if I am magic. I am not. I just do this all the time, so please call me, let me do my job, that way, you can get back to yours.

One Man Can Make a Difference

Jesus Did.

I saw this on a bumper sticker and almost laughed. I love the fact that this person was promoting Christ- I think they were anyway, however, to try to compare the Son of God to a mere mortal- that is laughable. When I look at the vastness of his creativity, the depths of his mercy and his love- I am overwhelmed. To be one man and make a difference- yes, that is possible- but once again, to compare yourself to the savior who saved the world from total damnation, the same man who at the age of 12 was teaching the priests, the same man that walked on water, cast out demons, raised people from the dead, heal the sick, the blind... well, I don't want to compare myself to that. I will try to make a difference, but I don't think that I could die for a bunch of sinners that wanted nothing to do with me. Nope, I don't want to compare myself to Him. I want to be like him, I want to reach out and help the hurting the lost, the weary, the widowed, the orphaned- but I sure don't want to be beaten and nailed to a cross.

I thank God for his Son- this person who came to the Earth and lowered himself to my level, humbled himself, and then died for me.