Oh Dear Lord - THERE WAS SHRINKAGE!!!

Remember that episode of Seinfeld where George is seen naked by Jerry's Girlfriend. He tries to quickly explain that he just got out of the pool and "It was cold!" If you click on the title to this post you will see that there is a T-Shirt - A T-SHIRT - with the phrase "There was Shrinkage!" on it. So I figure if someone will wear it on a shirt, then I can talk about it on my website.

Ladies, those of you who are married probably already know this, but men's genitalia will withdraw whenver it is cold outside or whenever it is confronted with a scary situation, that situtation being a doctor who is sitting eye level to your privates (I love saying privates, it's so first grade) and he snaps on those latex gloves and says, "Well, lets take a look".

So there I am with my "Merry Christmas" hanging out and without so much as a bow for privacy and the doctor starts literally shaking and inspecting my package. Not only is he shaking it, but he is squeezing the heck out of my Jingle Bells even though they are clearly marked FRAGILE - HANDLE. WITH. CARE. It was painful an I almost vomited on him, but like the unwrapping of gifts, it was all over in a matter of minutes. THANK. YOU. JESUS.

I have no idea what man in his right mind would choose this as a profession, they must be crazy. Then the Doc wanted to make small talk and I'm sitting there feeling violated and I just don't want to be around him anymore. I don't want to be around anyone. I just want to curl up with an ice pack and a blanket.

The Verdict

I may have an infection, my left testicle is swollen, I have to have a sonogram done to make sure all is well and I am taking antibiotics for 10 days.

I think it is going to be alright, the doctor didn't seem too alarmed about anything, he didn't mention the word Cancer, or anything that ended in "-ectomy" and so I think I am good.

A couple of Starter Designs for K-Pinion

Here is one design...



Here is one more that is a little classier...

And hello - "The Wife" - I am creating a template design for KT.

These colors are HARD to work with though KT - a huge challenge...



And here is the original for those of you that are judging your favorites...

My Mother – The Accidental Homewrecker

Last night I called my mom just to say hi and she told me the best story. My mom and dad are volunteers for a boys home and so they deal with a lot of kids that have been incarcerated. When the kids get out a lot of times they continue working with them and sometimes they even move in with my parents.

This new kid Joseph moved in with them and he was working last night and my mom needed to talk to him. She called him on his cell phone and he has one of those messages that only have repeat the number, it doesn’t tell you who you have called. So the first time she just leaves the message, "hey, call me" , but later she calls back and leaves a message that went something like this…

“Hey, why aren’t you answering your phone when I call? You need to pick up that phone and answer when I call…”

My mom is really funny and she said she went on and on saying all kinds of stuff just being crazy.

Later she calls again because she really needs to reach Joseph and this Mexican guy answers and she assumes it is Joseph and so the first thing she says is, “Why haven’t you been answering your phone?” Again you have to know my mom, she isn’t really angry, she is just feigning anger – it’s her way of playing. And she said the guy answered with broken English and she didn’t give him a chance to really talk and she said, “Why are you talking like that?” and then all of the sudden she hears this lady in the background yelling and she hears a loud “konk” and this woman gets on the phone and says, “Who is this?”

My mom is flustered at this point realizing that all this time she has been calling the wrong number! The lady then proceeds to gripe my mom out saying, “You almost caused us to get a divorce, and I just want to let you know that I let my husband have it because of you, why do you keep calling?”

My mom said she didn’t know what to say she just kept trying to explain that she had the wrong number. The lady continued to scold her and mom said she felt like a little kid being scolded by a parent. She said later she realized that she never said her name or Joseph’s when she left the message and so the lady had no idea who was calling her husband!

I got a good laugh out of this last night, but I sure felt bad for that lady’s husband – he got in trouble and he didn’t even do anything!

On another note...

My site has been updated with a new template, I try to update at the end of every month, so if you are lucky, this year you will get 12 template designs out of me. This new template design titled "Bringing Back the Black and White" is saying more than you might realize.

This design is about what Posted Note stands for, the differences between men and women and how we communicate those differences through the written word. I am tired of gender benders and equality seekers, I want men to be men and women to be women - I want to "take out the gray people."

This isn't an attempt at hate or intolerance, rather, it is an attempt to bring back the good ol' days where black was black and white was white. And if you don't like it, hey, you'll get a new design in a month.

Somone asked me if they could have my old design and I said "sure!". Anytime I retire an old templage and you want it, let me know, it's yours for the asking. I will start posting links to the templates soon so you can just copy and paste the text at will.

One last thing... I have an appointment today at 2:00 for the testicular pain. It hasn't been hurting as bad lately and the pain has really diminished to the point that now I wonder why I was so worried. I am still going to go in and see the doc though just in case, but I don't look forward to it - it is never a good time when you have to drop your pants for a stranger- wait, they came out wrong, okay, I just tried to write something better and it came out sounding worse - this will have to do...

Peace, Love, Fried Rice and Chicken Wings!

The Bachelor and South Beach Diet

Last night I started watching The Bachelor. I normally don't watch it, it bores me, but I have some married friends that watch it and they talk about it and so I thought I would watch it so I would be able to chime in this season... and there was nothing else on last night at 8pm.

Charlie O'Connell walked on screen and I couldn't help but think, "Why does this guy look so familiar? Then when they did the Bio of Charlie you find out that his brother is Jerry O'Connell- and that is why he looks so familiar. So once you find out that this guy is rich and famous and that if you ended up with him then you would be living the lifestyle of a hollywood actor, even I wanted to win this contest. Not really, but dang, if they had a bachelorette show with some rich Hollywood actress like Natalie Portman or Amanda Peet, then yeah, I am going to want to win this girls heart, who cares about love, I want the money and the fame! Okay, that sounds really shallow but you know that you would do the exact same thing.

Enough about reality TV, a little bit about me...

The South Beach Diet is still on in full force. 6 weeks into this diet and I am starting to look good. Did I mention that when I get thin I always get really arrogant? Well, I do. And now my slim body is coming with a new set of never-before-seen muscles and I am quite pleased with the results. Critics are giving the new Eddo "Two thumbs up - WAY UP!!!".

I have lost a total of 20 pounds and my Easter dress slacks were way too big, I couldn't wear them. I have been taking Creatine and so I haven't showed a lot of on-scale progress lately in the form of pounds lost, but I have shown progress in my clothes and over-all inches lost. Last week I wore a shirt that I bought 2 years ago and I have never been able to fit in it - so things are good. I still miss pasta, and cake, and donuts, but I don't think about them as much as I did when I first started the diet. I sleep better now, my skin looks healthier, and I feel good - and my heart is probably happier too. The South Beach Diet wasn't invented for people to lose weight, it was invented for heart health and so I like it for those reasons too.

Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas - by James Patterson

Last night I got home and watched Desperate Housewives. When it was over Boston Legal wasn't on, instead some show called, "Grey's Anatomy" was on and I thought... Just what we need - ANOTHER show about Med Students and the drama that they face while doing their internships. We GET. IT. Med school is tough. We have watched ER, and Scrubs, and House, and Medical Investigation, and CSI, and NCIS, and we understand the complexity of the medicine world. So, I was not into Grey's Anatomy. I flipped the channel and found Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas by James Patterson. Let me just tell you that this movie is not for the SENSITIVE. I BALLED MY EYES OUT. I wish that I would have read the book, but I didn't - here is what a person reviewing the book had to say - it will be much easier than typing it myself.

Katie Wilkinson has found her perfect man at last. He's a writer, an original thinker-everything she's imagined she wanted in a partner. But one day, without explanation, he disappears from her life, leaving behind only a diary for her to read. This diary is a love letter written by a new mother named Suzanne. In it she pours out her heart about how she and her child's father met, about her hopes for marriage and family, and about the unparalleled joy that having a baby has brought into her life. As Katie reads this touching document, it becomes clear that the lover who has just left her is the husband and father in this young family. She reads on, filled with terror and hope, as she struggles to understand what has happened-and whether her new love has a prayer of surviving.

I stayed up till eleven watching and crying... I think all women would love this book, so ladies go read it, and guys, if you feel like a good cry, then you should read it too.

And, just to make sure that all of you know - I am STILL the leader of the crazy world, as proof, while peeing at a urinal yesterday at Fellowship Church.com, this guy starts singing REALLY LOUD right behind me - "AND I'M SINGING, AND I'M SINGING!!" And then he reaches down and grabs his kid who is right next to me and the kid and I nearly peed all over ourselves because of the singing and the grabbing. I zipped my pants and turned around and compassionately said, "Welcome my child, I am your leader you crazy goon..."

Oh, and one more thing... I watched that new comedy "The Office" and I was only slightly entertained - I found "Life On a Stick" to be much more humorous. Did you watch it? What did you think?

“You need to stop eating so fast” and other things you should never say to Eddo

I went to dinner Saturday night with my Russian friend Maksim. If you are new to Posted Note then you may not know that Maksim works where I work, we live in the same apartment complex and we work out together. Maksim has been awesome at helping me get back into shape and I really appreciate his consistency and commitment in the gym – it is rare that you find someone to workout with that doesn’t cancel on you often, however, sometimes he is a real pain in the ass.

To make a long story short, Maksim is always telling me what I should eat, how I should eat it, how much to workout, what pills to take, what pills not to take, how much water to drink, how many reps to do, etc. For the most part I don’t mind, it’s like having a personal trainer around 24x7 – but when we went to dinner on Saturday night after playing racquetball he made the mistake of telling me, “You need to stop eating so fast”.

I looked at him like, "YOU FOOL" and sarcastically said, “Thanks” trying not to reveal my shock at his stupidity. And then he had the gall, no the AUDACITY to say, “No, you need to chill out, you are eating way too fast.”

Let me just tell you that I almost threw him through the big screen TV that we were watching. First of all, What kind of guy tells another guy to slow down when he is eating? Secondly, I didn’t even want to go out and eat, I told him I was going to stay home and relax because it was 9:30 before we went out to eat, and thirdly – I wasn’t even eating all that fast – I was eating normal paced. He just wanted me to eat Russian style where you take 2-3 hours to finish a meal- well let's get this straight - THIS IS AMERICA BUDDY, AND HERE WE EAT FAST!!!

So, I just sat there fuming and not eating, he had ruined my appetite. When I get to a certain point of madness there is a fine line between sanity and homicidal. I am so easy going all the time, but this was the straw that finally broke the camels back.

I can't go into detail here about what I said because I used a few choice words that I am not proud of, but DANG IT, sometimes people need to shut up. And then Maksim makes the mistake of telling me that sometimes I am "too sensitive". The gloves, Oh dear God in Heaven I almost brought out the fists of fury... that is the second thing you NEVER say to Eddo and I had to set him straight on the difference between being too sensitive and having the crap nagged out of you by someone constantly telling you how to live your life.

So tell me, when was the last time a good friend said something inappropriate to you and you almost killed them?

"Honey, Eddie is Office Depot not Home Depot"

My mom was trying to explain to my dad why I didn't tow a car to Denton by myself. My mom, being the amazing analogist that she is, said to my father - "Honey, Eddie is Office Depot, not Home Depot" could she have said it any more perfectly?

Growing up I often times spent Saturday morning with my dad fixing broken dish washers, broken cars, or doing general maintenance around the house. I made a vow to myself that one day I would make enough money to pay someone to fix things for me. That has become a reality to some extent, but as you get older you at least know that there is a great deal of satisfaction that comes from fixing your own problems.

I also want it to be known that when it comes to interior painting, I am almost a Michaelangelo - and landscaping, move over green thumb, and even small carpentry I am good at- but towing cars is just not in my repertoire. I have never had cause or need to learn how to tow a car in all my 29 years. I have been in a car while it was being towed when I was probably 11 or 12, but I gleaned nothing from that actual towing.

So, if you have a handbook or a link to a "How-To Tow 101" or "Towing for Dummies" then please send it my way.

On a separate note...

I went and saw HOSTAGE last night - it is really good. I went in with really low expectations, but I was thoroughly fascinated and on edge the entire movie. It is a fun thrill ride and I am a huge Bruce Willis fan - ever since he did that movie The Kid.

So, if you want to make your hubby happy ladies, don't take him to see Miss Congeniality II - Armed and Fabulous. Take him to see Hostage and you might find that he is much more willing to fix your pipes, or any other Honey Do's afterward.

Shake it, Shake it... Wait... WAIT - that ain't a healthy butt...

Last night I went up to the University of Texas at Dallas to play some racquetball. Maksim and another one of his Russian friends invited me to come along and teach them how to play. While I was watching Maksim and Sasha play I kept noticing how all of these girls were wearing clothes (or not wearing them) that emphasized their very best attributes - if you know what I mean.

I love to people watch and I like to make observations and I observed this Asian girl walking by with her shorts rolled up at the waist as far as they would possibly roll - she should have just done without the shorts and worn her panties because that was what she turned these shorts into - baggy panties. As she walked past I must admit I stole a glance at her backside - Hey, God made butts and he made me attracted to them so I am just checking to see what she is working with - nothing more.

To my suprise and disappointment God had chosen to bankrupt this girl in the butt department. When he spun the Wheel of Butt Fortune (Say it with me, WHEEL. OF. BUTT!) it passed up Juicy, Huge, Moderate, Bangin, Ghetto, and then landed on BANKRUPT! Bless her heart. BABY AIN'T GOT BACK!

I quickly ran over to her and said, "look here cutie, you are cute and all, but you can't wear your shorts like that, that look is reserved for girls with the healthy backside." With that said she looked shocked and horrified and she twisted her head around and noticed for the first time that she did indeed have NO BUTT - she realized she was a pirates dream - you know, "sunken booty".

Okay, that last part was a lie, I didn't say anything to her, but don't you think someone should have?

Straight Up Now Tell Me...

Last night while watching American Idol Paula Abdul could not keep her hands off of Simon Cowell. Since the first season a thick sexual tension has hung in the air like an old ladies perfume. Simon actually had some nice comments to say to the contestants and apparently Paula was so over-joyed by his compliments that she felt compelled to throw herself upon him and plant kisses on his cheek. The first time I thought she was just being sweet, but the third and fourth times it was a bit obvious that she was thirsty for a tall glass of Simon Cowell.

And... I can't say that Paula's feelings are one sided. Is it my imagination or is Simon feigning dislike a little too much? If you really don't like someone you just come out and tell them, "stop". However, if you actually like the attention you just make faces and act like the person showing you affection is a little crazy- like Simon did last night.

All I know is that while watching the show I thought that if Simon said one more nice compliment that Paula might start a full on make-out fest (I was going to say lap dance but I thought that might be too off-color)right there on national television!

Paula, Simon, we love you, but the two of you need to get a room.

Template Update Alert!

Okay, Cody didn't like his last template and so I redid it for him. I have been contemplating doing something in army green for a while, this is what I came up with... click here

I am the Leader of the Crazy World I am the Leader of the Crazy World... Let me repeat, I AM THE LEADER OF THE CRAZY WORLD!!!

Have you ever met someone and right off you thought to yourself, "This person might just be a tad bit crazy." However, you really had no justification for your thoughts, it was just a gut feeling, intuition, or some other supernatural force telling you to "BE AWARE".

Just for the record, crazy people are drawn to me like gays are drawn to Bette Midler and Cher. They are seeking out their leader, the one person that can take them to a crazy haven where all other crazies can unite and become a new nation, a new family, a new generation.

Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them. ~ William Shakespeare

Crazy people are THRUSTING this role upon me.

Last Thursday night I am sitting at Boston Market and this lady comes over and asks me for 10 or 20 cents. My heart went out to her because she did indeed look crazy. I gave her two dollars and said a prayer that she would go and spend it on some food, and not on alcohol or cigarettes which she wreaked of.

A couple months ago at Einsten Brothers Bagels a guy walked up to my window and asked me for money, I didn't have any and I should have given him my bagel dog that I had just purchased, but instead I drove away and consumed the bagel dog smothered with mustard and guilt.

Then when I lived in Denton this guy came up to me while I was at the laundromat and asked, "Hey buddy, are you homeless friendly?" and I replied, "As a matter of fact I am" his choice of phrasing alone was worth the 5 spot the I gave him.

Then there was the strange black lady at the 7-11 that asked for a ride on Harry Hines in Dallas. I had to tell her no because I had a computer in my front seat- (Praise God) and because I had to get back to work and I had no time that day for the crazy lady.

Then of course there are my neighbors David and Ben the twin brothers that I believe are skizophrenic, and the list goes on and on...

The thing of it is, I can tell normally from the moment I meet someone if they are "touched", I try to avoid these people at all costs, but for some reason they seek me out, they know where I work, they know where I live, where I eat, and even what I drive.

Being the leader of the crazy world is not an easy job. I would gladly pass this cup to another more willing, is that person you?

My Left Testicle Hurts and other updates

Well, I just had to get that off my chest becaue it's true. I called the Urologist and they had this really long message and I got upset with the automated message and hung up. I then looked up reasons for why my left testicle would have an odd lump on it and why it would be hurting and there were a lot of cool sites out there that reassured me that it is most likely not testicular cancer - but I am still going to go and have it checked out to make sure, I keep wimping out every time I start to make an appointment. And to be honest, it has hurt for a while now, but only recently has it progressed to the point that I think I need to have it checked.

On a much, much lighter note - I had a great time visiting Joe and Amber over the weekend. Joe turned 32 on March 19th, Happy Birthday Joe! I can't believe it, if he is turning 32 that means that I am getting older as well and I just don't like the sound of that. If I was already married and I had a couple of kids then I would welcome old age with open arms, but not yet, not now!

I took the entire weekend off of my South Beach Diet as it was the end of my first 30 days to be on that thing. This morning I got up and the scale said that I had gained 10 pounds. For real. I almost commited suicide right there- just kidding, I am not that psycho.

Part of the new found weight is most likely due to Creatine consumption which I just started last week. Creatine causes your muscles to fill with water and it makes the grow and look bigger and allows you to work them harder which makes them grow and get bigger... blah, blah, blah...

I am sure you are all bored with, "This week in Eddo's Fitness News", so I will shut up about that.



So that is about it for me for now, I am updating all the links right now so if you haven't popped by my other links in a while - well, go and check them out!

I love you!

Eddo and Joe's Wife Amber Bruner

Joe Bruner and Eddo

March Madness

What is everyone talking about - well, it was E-Harmony and I just want to say a HUGE thanks to everyone that commented on my site about E-Harmony - I learned so much from all of your experiences.

And speaking of experiences - this weekend I have been watching ALOT of Basketball. March Madness is of course the time of year when everyone breaks out their NCAA Division I Men's Basketball Championship Bracket. Did you fill one out? Did you get into the office pool? Normally these pools are won by girls who don't know the first thing about basketball and they fill out the bracket based on the names of the teams and which ones sound the most like clothing designers or the latest bottle of perfume. No ladies, I know that there are MANY of you who no WAY more about basketball than I do, I am actually quite bankrupt in the basketball department. This year because of my friendship with Joe Bruner I have actually watched quite a few games, normally I just wait till the finally for and then I watch and shout and cheer as if I have been following these four teams for their entire season.

And speaking of Basketball, the Mavs Coach Don Nelson resigned today - can you believe that? All I know is that people used to make fun of the Mavs, they were a joke, but then Mark Cuban came along with his broadcast.com fortune and made the team a team worth watching. Mad props to Mark Cuban.

And today is also Joe Bruner's 30th Birthday - Happy Birthday Joe!

To my readers, again, I love you and now I am off to read your blogs... Have a geat weekend!

e-Harmony… e-Heaven or e-Hell?

Last year about this time I was on a Song of Solomon trip with Tom Nelson. (Oops, did you trip over that name I just dropped? Sorry…) While at this conference I am surrounded by young, single, attractive college co-eds just looking to get married. Unfortunately, I live in Texas and the conference was in Ohio. Insert frown here.

Well, after the conference we go and eat at this hole-in-the-wall pizza joint that is in an old one story house with hardwood floors – very Mellow Mushroom meets Little House on the Prarie. While enjoying cheesy breadsticks and pepperoni pizza with garlic butter dipping sauce Tom Nelson and Michael Armstrong start talking about E-Harmony. Well, I am a single guy at a Love, Sex, and Marriage Conference and so my ears perked up like a dogs when he hears the doorbell ring. I imagine that the girl at the door has a great big smile, white teeth, thick hair, long legs, and an enormous purse- because ladies I like to spend money!!! For real though, I am sitting there feeling unambiguously single and so I make a mental note to check out this E-Harmony. Tom says he just married two couples that met on E-Harmony so what is the worst that could happen? Well, let ME tell you….

Online dating is dangerous. You get set up with these people that are supposed to be matched to you on a gazillion different levels. You talk to them, and you rarely find anyone that you really like (or find attractive), and the ones that you do, they don’t like you back. The crazy thing is that I thought I was through with this online dating thing, and I think I am, but a year later after I took this girl out taht I met on E-Harmony- I still find myself thinking about her. Why? Is it because I like girls that play hard to get, or is it because she fit 8 out of 10 of my requirements for marriage? She "just wanted to be friends". The other girls I met on E-Harmony were either very aggressive or ugly. There, I said it, ugly. One girl had a new born that looked like she had literally just pulled it from her womb and then took a picture of herself with this newborn next to her face. Gray sweats, fried blonde hair, and a face that looked like she had just gotten an acid peel completed her look. And then there was the girl that I took out that sang songs in the car like with baby talk, and the girl that kept emailing me wanting to get together immediately... I could go on and on and on.

Now, I am not the only one that has had some bad experiences with E-Harmony. A good friend of mine found many girls that he was interested in, and some of them just wanted to get married immediately. Some of them didn't look at all like their pictures, and some of them were just plain weird. I have heard other horror stories from others but I promised them that I wouldn't post them.

So you tell me... if you have tried e-harmony was it e-Heaven or e-Hell?

Rocky Road

My grandmother hasn’t been doing too well lately and we had to rush off and see her yesterday morning so I was away from my one true love – the internet world of blog – I missed you guys the same way I miss pasta, and rocky road, and pretty much anything chocolate.

I wish that it didn’t take someone going to the hospital or getting married for us all to get together, but it does. Life is like that, it’s busy, it’s complicated, and it takes an act of God to get people to stop their lives and pause for a moment.

Personally, I don’t like pausing. I don’t like interruptions in my perfectly ordered life and this year has been a doozy when it comes to interruptions. It is now March and I still have spent only one weekend in my own bed. Not all of the weekends that I was away were for bad things, but a good majority of them were. But that is what life is about, it’s about taking the good with the bad, the clean with the messy, the ugly with the pretty. However, it doesn’t mean I have to like the bad, the messy, or the ugly, I don’t, but I can and will deal with them when they come my way.

So for me, I am going to keep this post short, just wanted to let you all know that I love you and miss you and hope you are doing well and if you are dealing with some rocky roads I am here for you… as long as it don’t take me away from my precious internet!

I looked that Gift Horse right in the mouth… and it was more than a little long in the tooth…

People used to make the expression, “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth” the reason people look horses in the mouth is because their teeth keep growing as they age and you can tell if a horse is old by the length of its teeth.

You are not allowed to turn your nose up at a gift, but HAVE YOU MET ME? Parents, I love you, but I just cannot put this washer and dryer you gave me into my apartment. I am just too snooty to stick my clothes in that small washer; I am too shallow to have that harvest gold dryer drying in my laundry room. I am an uppity old git who even though I have never had anything I act like I came from old money.

I am one of those people that would rather sit on the floor for a year instead of putting a couch in my house, a perfectly good one mind you, but one that does not match my taste or my décor. I find that some things are a virtual assault to the senses, I just won’t be surrounded by ugly things, even if they are only temporary. Besides, I find a sort of Zen calmness that comes from an empty living room, or bedroom for that matter. Take my bedroom for example, no dresser, no place to put my clothes, nothing but a pair of laundry baskets, one for clean clothes, one for dirty. I can’t afford the dresser I want, so I will wait until I can. The problem is that if you get a piece of junk dresser that you don’t want, then you have to get rid of it later, and I don’t like having to get rid of junk.

The thing is, I am one of those people that don’t like clutter, I will never, and I repeat, NEVER have a garage so full of junk that you can’t park your cars in it. My closets won’t be full of clothes that I never wear. I don’t believe in keeping things in storage unless those things are seasonal, or you are in the middle of a move.

I feel bad for being the way that I am, but this is one area that I can't seem to change. I am really flexible most of the time, but I refuse to be surrounded by junk! This might need to go under a reason why "not to marry me".

Robots - Testosterone - Dinner with Roger and Jes

So Friday night Joe and Amber Bruner came up to Dallas and we went to see Robots at the IMAX theater. It is a much smaller auditorium with a much larger screen and there are no movie previews. I guess you get right to your movie when you are paying the premium price of 11.75 for a movie.

I always have fun with Joe and Amber, but I have to give Robots a B- on the overall enjoyment scale. There are a few areas that are really funny, but a lot of the time I felt that the movie tried too hard to be too clever, and there were a few things that reminded me too much of Shrek. There is this little security personnel guy that sounds JUST LIKE the gingerbread man from Shrek, and he is almost the same size and shape too.

Artistically the movie is a masterpiece. The animation, the design, the use of color, it is a delight, but the storyline is predictable and the ending is anticlimactic. I am NEVER one to hate on a movie, but I actually enjoyed "The Pacifier" more.

You may have read about me getting angry at the movies a couple of weeks ago for some kids talking too loud in the back, but at Robots there was this guy behind me talking about nasty sex, stuff that should never be said out loud - not even behind closed doors, and he is just talking about with his friend and saying all this crass stuff and I am getting offended. I am mostly offended because there are women around andn they should never be subjected to that kind of talk - so I turned around and looked at him and said, "Dude" with a disgusted tone, and he had the nerve to say, "What? Just making converstation" and I said, "Well save it for the locker room." He didn't say anything else dirty and so I was happy. I don't know if it is the extra testosterone pulsing through my body from the extra workouts and supplements or if I am just getting older, but I WILL NOT sit idly by and allow someone to make me, or any of my friends uncomfortable. If you are out of line, I am going to call you on it.

A Big Thanks to Roger and Jes!

Saturday I went over to Jes and Roger Ferris' house for dinner. We were having a long overdue game night and we all were looking forward to it. Jes made AMAZING meatballs and broccoli and brown rice just for me! (THANKS JES IT WAS SOOOO GOOD!!) and she even took the time to make me strawberry shortcake on Angel Food cake because it is much better for me since I am on the South Beach Diet. So sweet of her.

Anyway, we played 3 games of Settlers of Catan which is a strategy game similar to Risk but much more fun. Katie won the last of the three games finally destroying the Ferris' who kept beating us - and we didn't want any pity wins. Jes is sweet like that and so is Roger, they will let their guests win so that they have more fun. I have fun even if I am losing, after a while you get used to it!

The entire night was extremely enjoyable and I have to say that I have never been to any other house where the hosts were more attentive. Roger and Jes always make sure you have EVERYTHING you need, plenty to eat and drink, the right music, good food, dessert, snacks - so very gracious and sweet, I love going over there.

The rest of the weekend was just relaxing and I don't want to bore you with all the mundanity, so I won't.

I love you all!

The Pacifier - Vin Diesel

Vin Diesel is multiracial like myself and so I always support movies that star multiracial leads like Vin and Halle Berry. From the first time I saw the previews I wanted to see The Pacifier. Sure it looks like a bad sequel to Kindergarden Cop, but actually it was really good. There were lots of parts that were super cheesy, like an episode of Power Rangers. I am not kidding, these ninjas bust in through a window wearing full ninja gear and they have these batons and they start tag teaming Vin Diesel and it is all choreographed to perfection. Unrealistic? Yes. But I could hear the small children around me ooohing and ahhing and that made me smile.

The critics on Rotten Tomatoes said, "It will give you a few chuckles", but I laughed hard and loud many times. I went in with low expectations and was pleasantly surprised - unlike Man of the House with Tommy Lee Jones where I was bored out of my gourd...

So, if you want to watch a light-hearted movie that you can take kids and parents to and not feel akward at any time, then check out The Pacifier.

About the South Beach Diet

On the way in to work this morning the Nestle Crunch bar was STILL THERE and there were these cute little mockingbirds feasting on it for breakfast - it was the first time I was ever envious of a bird. However, I continue to lost weight on this diet despite the fact that this week I have cheated 3 times! Can you believe that, I ate popcorn and cashews for dinner last night at the movie, I had fried okra yesterday at lunch and earlier in the week I had a bag of M&M's! I have been on the diet for 19 days and I have lost 15 pounds. When I started dieting I weighed 360, it took me 4 months to lose the first 7 pounds, then I started South Beach and now I have lost another 15. So I am down to 338.

Last night after watching Vin Diesel strut around on screen with his big muscular chest I went home and did some Power Yoga. Wednesday I did a chest workout and so my chest was still sore so I really just wanted to stretch it out real good - Yoga is good for that. Yoga also works up a serious sweat in about 30 minutes, and when you are done you feel good, not beat up like you do when you finish running.

Well, I am off to see Robots tonight at the IMAX with Amber and Joe, I will tell you all about that one on Monday...

Love.

Fried Wonton's Please!

Today…


As I was walking in to work this morning there was a slightly nibbled on King Size Nestle Crunch bar just half hanging out of the wrapper – just poking out tempting me like Cindy Crawford’s cleavage. I actually imagined myself down on all fours like a raccoon picking up the chocolate bar, cleansing it in the nearby puddle, and then stuffing it greedily into my mouth savouring the snap crackle chocolatey pop that is Nestle Crunch Bar goodness. Everywhere I go there seems to be some form of temptation.


My motto used to be “If it’s fried, I’ll eat it”. Right now I want something fried so bad I can hardly stand it. I live WALKING DISTANCE from MEI MEI China and when I go outside my apartment I can smell fried wontons, and they have these really good sweet cream cheese filled wontons that are sooo delicious.


The thing is I don’t know how long I can go before I finally just give in and stuff myself full of fried food until I pop. Just the thought of overeating right now is like the thought of having the cast of LOST in my living room on Quaaludes with a 5 gallon bucket of ice cream and magic shell – it’s freaking mind blowing… MIND BLOWING!!!!


Last Night…


Dinner is cooking in the oven, steak smothered in stewed tomatoes with rosemary, garlic, and onions. It smells good, but it’s not a lot of food, and it isn’t piled on top of a plate of pasta and then sprinkled with a bucket of parmesan cheese. But I did just work out – 1 hour of cardio, and a chest and shoulder workout that was so painful satan asked me if he could implement it in hell. My Russian workout partner is always pushing me to knew heights and sometimes I want to kick him in the teeth so bad. I am not normally a violent person, but weightlifting makes me angry.


I plan to binge at the end of March – one binge day at the end of each month before Hawaii– which only gives me two binge days – followed by a bout of extreme vomiting and overdosing of laxatives. I DESERVE a break and I need something to look forward to, and I look forward to binge day the way I look forward to Christ's return... of course that is an exaggerated hyperbole...

Psycho Shoppers

So yesterday I went to the worlds worst grocery store chain - Albertson's. You would think that the one here in Plano would try to step it up because this is PLANO! Land of the free and home of the snooty upper crust. But nay, the management apparently does not understand that rich white people want to shop where the food is fresh, the store is clean, and the butcher in the meat department looks like he is cutting up cows in the back - not humans. Ha! Not this Albertson's, they think that people like to have their lunch meat sliced with a dirty blade and they want to be waited on by characters who would play roles in movies like, The Ring, Silence of the Lambs, and Nightmare on Elm Street.

The store is convenient and that is why I shop there, or else I would go right across the street to the Super Wal-Mart, but going to Super Wal-Mart is like going to the gym for cardio. I have to park a mile away from the store and once I finally make it inside I am normally dehydrated and winded. After wrestling a basket free from the snake-like string of carts that have been slammed together with the same force that they use to crash test side impact bags. I then have to circle around and around, zigzagging, weaving and bobbing through the other 8000 shoppers until I can find what I am looking for, when I leave I get a running start and push the basket out of the store and hop in it hoping that I have gained enough momentum to make it down the hill to where my car is because I am too tired to walk. The problem with this is control. It is hard to steer from inside the basket and twice I have careened out of control, once barely escaping a pregnant woman with 15 kids and a ferret, the other time hitting a curb and finding myself in the bed of a moving pick up truck - 20 miles later the driver finally stopped at his house and I was able to explain that I was part of Walmarts new service where the bag boy actually takes your purchases into your house - he was not amused.

So, back to my story about Alberstons....

I am in the produce aisle yesterday selecting some yellow onions and this lady yells out to this poor Mexican guy that is stocking the bananas - "Two Dollars and Fifty Cents for a one pound bag of shredded cabbage with some carrots tossed in? I can do better than that!" She is screeching it loud in the direction of the Mexican stocker but he doesn't dare pause or give the slightest indication that he hears her - smart man. I watch from behind the mound of yellow onions thinking that I would like to just zing one at her head. Lately I tire of people that are loud or even the slightest bit rude, I just can't tolerate it. The lady continues to scowl as she picks over the produce.

I grab my two onions and place them in my basket and quickly gather up the rest of my groceries. Still on the South Beach diet the aroma of fresh baked Chocolate Chip cookies wafts through the air, the smell is so rich and thick that I think I inhaled at least 50 carbohydrates. Then man on the intercomm just has to come on and say, "Fresh-Baked Chocolate Chip Cookies, Just 2.99 a bag, come try a free sample". My stomach growls with frustration and anticipation, it begs to be given just a sampling of the sweet chocolatey goodness. I tell it to SHUT. UP!! IT AIN"T GETTIN NOT CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES, NOT TODAY DANGIT!!

I drag myself to the register feeling like a large a very smooth metal ball being pulled by the magnet that is those chocolate chip cookies, but with one final vault I am free from their grip and I am in the safety of the self checkout lane.

I look to my left only to see Psycho Shopper cabbage lady. She is probably45 with dark curly brown hair, heart shaped face with a protruding chin, hard features, big nose, toss her in a black shawl and slap a pointy hat on her head and you have the witch that tried to cook Hansel and Gretel.

She is holding a large white onion proclaiming, "I ain't paying for that it is too expensive" she walks over and hands it to the one cashier and says, "Go get me a cheap yellow onion, all I want is a big cheap yellow onion." And so he is holding the onion and staring at it as if she just handed him a crystal ball. He gazes at it apparently hoping to see a future that doesn't involve wrinkled khaki's, bad hair cuts, and name badges. The witch lady doesn't even look at him, she only turns and continues to scan her groceries. Another lady comes over to help with the onion incident. She looks at the onion too and the lady tells her, "I ain't paying for that, it is too expensive" The older female cashier apparently has seen her fair share of Psycho shoppers and she quickly hurries away to get her a "cheap yellow onion" as she leaves she says, "It is expensive, I woudln't pay for it either". I didn't mention that the lady is black and the way she hurries off and what she says makes me think of slaves and how they were treated by their masters and it sent a prickly chill up my spine.

I again looked at my two big cheap yellow onions, just sitting there, I picked one up and I threw it as hard as I could at the witch woman's nose... Not really. But I sure wanted to.

American Idol Worship

The show has become a god unto many. Each week millions of cult followers flock to their televisions practically bowing before it in anticipation of what will come – contestants singing for a chance to be the next American Idol. After the show people then call up and vote for their favorite contestant repeatedly sacrificing their valuable time and money in hopes that the one they have chosen will win.

This is the fourth season of American Idol and with it we have all seen how diverse, tone deaf, and outrageous America really is. From the Auditions to the finale many Americans find themselves glued to the tube absorbing every detail and then rehashing those details the next day with co-workers, family, and friends- myself included.

It’s not only the contestants that we tune in to see, no, we also watch to hear what the judges have to say. Paula Abdul never really has anything to say, but she is a celebrity with hits like, “Rush, Rush”, “Opposites Attract”, and “Straight Up”. She can sing, she’s a performer, she’s pretty and she’s sweet. You can’t help but love her, but every now and then you want her to stop being so nice and just speak her mind.

No one had ever really heard of Randy Jackson and little has been said on the show about his music credibility. He produced 4 songs for Mariah Carey and co-wrote two of them. He was a bassist on records for Madonna, Elton John, Whitney Houston, Journey and Aretha Franklin – musically the man is gifted, but charismatically he isn’t. Unfortunately Randy Jackson’s verbal repertoire seems to be limited to “”Dawg, and “You Know”. Trying to appeal to America’s desire to only see beautiful people on television, Jackson underwent the popular gastric bypass surgery and as we have all noticed he has shed quite a few pounds. Jackson’s attire has also been a bit mismatched with his overall image. Flamboyant designer shirts worn mostly by smaller men like Ryan Seacrest are constantly seen on Jackson. Large pink paisley and white prints, pink flowers, and even pink stripes have been worn by Jackson. I don’t know much about fashion, but if people had to call in and vote for who was the worst dressed judge- it would be Randy Jackson.

And now we look to Simon Cowell who started recording music in the 1970’s. Cowell is best known for being rude, smug, and arrogant. As much as I appreciate his honesty and directness, I often find that he speaks out of turn when he calls contestants fat. Uh hem, isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black? Simon always wears those same tight shirts that I guess are supposed to show off his physique but instead reveal his flabby chest and spaghetti string arms. I only point out his inadequacies because he is so quick to point them out in others. He needs to critque the music and stop telling people they need to lose weight.

Overall I love the show and my pick to win is Anwar “Milli Vanilli” Robinson, after hearing him turn “What a wonderful World” into melodic magic I can’t help but pick him as the winner. Each week he has sung the oddest songs and each time he has OWNED them.

Who do you think will win?

Babies, Babies, Babies!

Jeremy and Nikki Johnson

Nikki and I are old friends, we go way, way back. We went to the same church group in high school, but we didn't know each other until we both became leaders for that same church high school group. Now she is going to be a mom and Jeremy is going to be a dad! It's weird watching your friends grow up and get married and have children, it makes you feel old.

For real though, I am extremely happy for them... I am going to be Uncle Eddo to lttle Nicaragua- that is what Nikki said she is going to name her baby after herself and the country that she loves... Just Kidding! Obviously.

CONGRATULATIONS NIKKI AND JEREMY!!

Much Love.

Oklahoma by Morning

Warning: Rated PG-13-LW - (LW is for Long winded)

Friday night I drove up to Oklahoma to see my cousin Chanc and his wife and their little girl Melina. When I arrived Friday night Melissa, Cbanc's wife, was in bed. She got food poisoning so bad that the subsequent problems caused by food poisoning, eh hem, if you know what I mean, caused her to start breathing incorrectly which led to hypocapnia - not enough carbon dioxide in the blood, so she cramped up - tight as a roly poly and had to go to the emergency room. So, I said all that to say that we ended up going out Friday night to a bar without her.

We got to this bar called, "Rodeo" and it is sort of like Billy Bob's becuase there is indoor bull riding, but there isn't a spinning disco saddle over the dance floor, the girls aren't as pretty and the place wasn't as huge and nice as Billy Bob's. However, like Billy Bob's it did have it's fair share of rednecks and hussy's. OUt of place in my designer Guess jeans, Daniel Cremieux shirt, and New Balance tennis shoes I still got up the nerve to ask a table of girls to dance. They didn't reall say no, they just sort of looked at me and then went back to talking as if I didn't exist. I have never been treated so rudely before. Ladies, and I am sure that all the ladies reading this would never be as rude as these girls were, but let me tell you, if a guy asks you to dance, at least understand that A) You should be flattered, B) it takes a lot of courage to ask C) Saying, No thanks is fine - but saying nothing at all is really rude.

So I go over and Chanc's friend JP is with us and he says, "How'd you do" and I said, "well, they were actually really rude, they just ignored me." and he said, "You want me to go over there and tell them off?" and I was like "No, it's no big deal" and so we sat there in silence watching the dance floor for a while and JP says, "I am going to go over and say something to them."

So he goes over and asks them why they ignored me like that and they were all, "Well, we are just trying to have a girls night out and we don't want to dance" and he said, "Well, you could have just said that" and then proceeded to scold them in a nice way - JP is smooth for 21 and he looks and acts much older. Now, I would never have had him go over and say anything, as a matter of fact, I thought that I wouldn't like him going over there, but when he came back and told me how it went down I was sort of glad that he said something. I normally like to fight my own battles, but this time I didn't mind so much.

So we were at Rodeo for all of an hour and I didn't ask any other girls to dance since my ego was still slightly deflated (it takes about an hour and a half for it to re-inflate) and so we left and went to this little bar inside of the Marriot Hotel. At the Marriot my clothes blended much better. The lighting was better, the music was better, the women were prettier and classier even - who would have thought?

After about 30 minutes I meet this girl named Melissa and she is cute and she and I start dancing and she tells me repeatedly that she likes my dancing and of course I am thinking, "Of course you like my dancing, you like it because I am so dang good at it..." (Remember, I am thinking this - not saying it.) Out loud I said, "Thank You" like my momma taught me.

Melissa has long dark curly hair, pretty brown eyes and pretty face. She is dressed in a very tight white shirt and light blue form fitting pants. Now, this isn't one of those girls that you would take home to momma, but hey, I GOT TURNED DOWN TO DANCE! and so I need an ego boost and this girl Melissa was just what the doctor ordered. So here we are dancing an she sees my chest (Mostly because the whole time I am FLEXING IT!) and she is like, "I like your chest" and she starts touching it and feeling it and then she leans over and bites it - hard - twice! I said, "OUCH!" and she thought it was funny and I was thinking to myself, Has she done this to other guys? DId they like this? I appreciated Melissa's attention, but I could have used a little less biting. I also realized after this whole ordeal that I am too old and too much of a good boy to be in the club scene.

So Saturday we get up late and finally go to lunch and it was so good because I got off my diet and I at Chips and Salsa until I was about to explode - it was heaven. The salsa was so good that I literally ate it with a spoon.

I am back on the diet strict again today, but a 2 day break was nice.

Texas Hold'em

We played poker Saturday for 6 hours straight and I came in 3rd and won my 20 dollar buy in back. I couldn't believe it, I just wanted to cash out when I got up to 50 dollars but the group we were playing with has a standard rule that you have to play until someone wins it all. Ugh. I won't do that again. After that I realized I could never play in one of those sumo long poker tournaments, after about 4 hours I am done.

The "Be Cool" Review
Before Poker we went to see Be Cool. I laughed so hard so many times during this movie. Christina Milian was amazing, she sang a few times in the movie and each time I couldn't help but think, "Man, that girl CAN SING!" - The DVD and the Sound track are "Must Buys" for me.

I don't want to talk the movie up too much, but I do want to say that The Rock and Vince Vaughn are hilarious in this movie - AND - we get to see Andre Benjamin from OUTKAST and he is a trip - and I LOVE OUTKAST and so to me it was worth it just for him. But I also want to mention the STRIKING Uma Thurman - this woman's is like hot coffee on a cold day, like an all you can eat buffet after a 40 day fast, like honey butter on a hot roll - she lights up the screen in all her beautiful blonde long legged glory... I think I am in love with her!

So go see Be Cool - it is supposed to be the sequel to Get Shorty, but Get Shorty was SUMO lame and Be Cool is so much fun!

Well, if you read through all of that you must be really bored, or you must be related to me, or, you just really love me... hopefully you're here because of love...

Man of the House - Man of the Theater

Last night Maksim and I felt like getting out and so we went to see Man of the House. I thought it was going to be funny, but it wasn't. Every single funny part, and I mean, EVERY SINGLE FUNNY PART was shown during the previews. The plot line was flimsy, but I thought it would be good for a few laughs with Cedric the Entertainer - Cedric's scenes were funny, but we already saw them - in the PREVIEW!!! AAAAH!!!

So, I am sitting there watching the movie - it has been on for about 10 minutes and the whole time I can't concentrate because two rows back there is a group of kids that WILL NOT SHUT UP. Now, I was a youth leader and I have been known to be loud myself BEFORE the movie starts, but when it starts I shut up. However, I know how kids are so I was trying to be cool and I just hoped that eventually they would be quiet - they got louder.

Two guys joined the four girls that were already up there and they just started talking loudly about crap and I was going OUT OF MY MIND.

I sat there puzzling about what to do, should I just do a polite, "Shhhhhhh" or should I walk back there like Keith Chancey would do and get right in there face and tell them to shut up - no, I decided that this would require a full on BF and so I stood up and yelled VERY LOUDLY -

DAMMIT!!! - COULD YOU GUYS SHUT UP FOR JUST ONE MINUTE? (Yes, sometimes even Christians say a dirty word when it is necessary)

It was a scold that caused one of the blonde high schoolers to jump literally out of her seat. I almost laughed at her expression. I really wasn't mad, I was just perturbed.

I also realized that I needed to use a mild profanity to get their attention and to show them that I meant business. Also, it is ALWAYS important to let them know that you are NOT AFRAID of them and that you are not afraid of being just as loud and rude and beligerant as they are being.

I don't know why I didn't feel like taking any crap yesterday, it could be because I am carb depleted, it could be the sterroid-like pills that I am taking, or perhaps it was the fact that when I got home yesterday my neighbors - the two crazy brothers that live with their momin a one bedroom apartment even though they are both 35, they are fighting - literally screaming obscenities through the door at each other - apparently they got into it and one locked the other one out. So childish.

All I know is that yesterday I was man of the theater while watching Man of the House and it felt good to be a little confrontational because if you know me I am rarely confrontational.

On a separate note just in case you are keeping track - I have lost 14 pounds in 12 days on the South Beach Diet. I just have this weekend to go and Phase 1 is over. It's nice to be on a diet that actually works.

This post is Rated NFMR (NOT FOR MOM TO READ)

I-POD I-PEX I-LUST

The newest technology marketed at men is not in the form of a cell phone, an MP3 Player, or a DLP television, no, it is in the form of a bra. The new IPEX from Victoria's Secret with "Government Patent Pending" is now on sale with MORE COVERAGE THAN EVER!!! More television coverage that is...

We all know that sex sells, but Victoria's Secret keeps raising the bar. Not only is the commercial super hot(I only saw a brief glimpse), but they added the whole government patent pending thing and a name like IPEX to make it sound like a piece of cool technology - and what do guys like almost as much as sex? Cool Technology! And so Victoria's latest secret is that she has tapped into a man's brain like they did in that movie "The Manchurian Candidate" with Denzel Washington and Liev Shreiber. This people, this is MIND CONTROL, there is no stopping it until Jesus himself comes back.

So... I am at my friend Girja's house last night and she probably thought I was sumo gay because I kept" not watching" these commercials.

a) Those commercials are really inappropriate
b) It is akward watching a commercial like that with a girl right next to you
c) I am a christian and I am not supposed to be seeing women dancing around in sexy attire.

Girja knows that I am a Christian, but she also knows that I am a man and what man turns away from a commercial with Gisele in it? Let me tell you, IT IS A RARITY PEOPLE!!!!

I must ask, why are the commercials geared toward men? Or do women see those commercials and think, "Yeah, I would look just like her if I had that bra..." I guess that is probably the case.

So, women, it is up to you to boycott Victoria's Secret and stop buying their clothes so they will go out of business and stop showing those tantalizing commercials. It is your responsibility to put on more clothing and to start wearing large black cloaks around your body like they do in IRAQ and at the nunnery. It is your job to say "NO" and to stop putting yourselves on billboards and beer commercials objectifying yourself for a buck.

And guys, it is our job to keep turning our heads away - as hard as it is, we must turn away and not look back - Remember Lot's Wife.

1000 Journals Project

Have you ever heard of the 1000 Journals Project? No? Well, neither had I until one day whilst living on Anna Street in Denton I happened upon a plastic sack on my back porch filled with:

A) An old t-shirt, black, faded, plain
B) A Nintendo Game controller
C) A Journal

I had no idea where the bag came from and to this day I don't know HOW it got there, but later I find out who it belonged to - Jimmy McWhinney.

At the time Jimmy was in China and I had no way of knowing that the bag was for him, he didn't tell me that the bag was coming, and I don't think he had any idea that it was coming with one of these coveted journals.

If you find one you are supposed to log on to www.1000journals.com and then register and tell them where you found the journal. I logged on and was suddenly flooded with requests for the journal. People all around the globe kept requesting the journal.

Inside the journal were writings and drawings and all this cool stuff about other people, sort of like a mini diary excerpt from a bunch of random people. I wrote 10 things I have learned in this life, and some other dumb stuff. I then sent the Journal to Sydney, Australia to a girl named Sara. Apparently the journal never resurfaced because 3 years later I get an email from 1000 Journals asking me if I have the address of the person I sent the journal to. I said, "Um... No". At the time I had no reason to keep that information. Then, the thousand Journals people wanted to interview me, IN PERSON, and I was like yeah, okay, and they wanted me to answer all these questions, and then they kept hounding me about that stupid journal and if I could remember any more details about Sara and if you read my "How to annoy me... " section then you would know that it just don't pay to hound me so I finally put them on IGNORE and stopped respoding to their emails.

If I had it to do all over again I would have been more careful with the journal and where I sent it, when I sent it I actually asked the post office for one of those receipts that you get that lets you know when the person actually got the package, well, I never got a card saying they received the package and I lost the card that would allow me to track the package down... I know, sumo lame.

So, I think they started a second set of journals over at 1000 journals. It is a really cool idea so if you are bored, pop over to their site and check it out...

I love you...

Heather's Template Update

Hey, if you get bored at my site go check out Heather's. I updated her template and I am quite pleased with the outcome.

http://heathergershon.blogspot.com/

Again, if you are a close friend who has a boring blog template and you need a change - give me a shout...

Much Love.

I'm Still Standing

Fizogen On-Cycle - I finished this first cycle - for one month of pills it cost me 120 dollars. It was supposed to make me stronger - did it? I increased my bench press this month by about 30 pounds, I can lift more on curls, and over-all I feel stronger, but is it a result of the pills or am I just amazing? I hope it was the pills since I spent the money, but with things like that you can never really tell. With that set of pills came another 50 dollar investment into a bottle of Fizogen's Off-Cycle. I will actually start those tomorrow. They are supposed to help you maintain your muscle while giving them some time to rest before hitting them with another On-Cycle.

All in all I am quite impressed with my strength and endurance - especially since for the last 9 days I have had VERY few carbs. I got on the scale this morning and weighed 343!! That is a 10 pound loss in 9 days! This is the fastest I have EVER lost weight and I feel good and it hasnt' been that hard to stick to. I must admit that I had bacon - real bacon yesterday and today and you are not supposed to have real bacon, rather you should eat Turkey bacon, but hey, it still has no carbs and I am going to burn off the bad fat tonight in the gym. Oh, I didn't mention that I am doing about an hour cardio and 45 minutes of weight at least 4 times a week... and I am still standing... yeah, yeah, yeah.