An Eddo Update

So did I tell everyone that I got a promotion at work? Well, I did. I work on the same team, but I train people, and I do rate plan optimization and my job-that-used-to-rock-but-had-become-a-mite-bit-unchallenging has suddenly become a job that really rocks and is incredibly challenging. In the words of the blessed Steve - "God is Good."

Also, my little design-on-the-side business has kept me quite busy lately. If you look at this link and this link you will see a couple of current projects. I have 3 more in my design basket that I haven't even started on.

I also have The Blog Patrol site that I have started to update again as well as Drunken Fiction to work on.

I constantly remind myself how wonderful my little insignificant life is, and part of that wonderfulness comes from you. Thank you to those of you that let me create something for you even if it wasn't all that great, and thank you for coming to my site day after day and leaving me comments making me feel like what I have to say is important or humorous even when it is nothing more than incessant babbling about myself.

I love you all.

SING - Way Better than Rent!

I have a lot of video footage from SING and here is a quick clip so you can see what I mean.

Each sorority or fraternity had a different backdrop that they painted themselves with a different theme, choreographed dancing, brilliant music and an overall great production.

I like this type of musical because it is like 15 mini-shows in one. Nothing ever drags and it is fun to see college students doing something so well put together and creative. It's bloody brilliant!

Alan Meadows is Engaged

I lied to him, I said I would wait 24 hours before posting it on my website, but I couldn't wait any longer.

Alan is one of my brothers from another mother. He is one of those friends that you can always count on when you need him. We did Tom Nelson's discipleship program together back in 1999-2000. We lived together for a year and we went to Boston (view the cool travelog here) together. He is a Pilot in the Airforce and I think we all were beginning to wonder why he wasn't already married - but now we wonder no mas.

Congratulations Alan and Amanda!

Testing the Video

Before the show I had to try out the camera. Because Joe is brokedown with crutches we had to sit on the back row in these chairs that allowed him some extra leg room. Which worked out great because the chairs in the auditorium are a little snug and so I didn't mind the "Handicap" section. Now, about this video - it takes about 3 minutes to load so I apolgize, but the quality of it is good and it is funny because Amber, Joe's Wife, suddenly realizes that I am filming and she wants to be on camera too.

Powered by Castpost

Waco - so much more to come...

Okay, here are some pictures from the new camera. I ended up getting a Kodak Easy Share v530 because of all the great reviews it received and because of the mixed reviews that the Nikon 7600 received. For what I need this little bugger is perfect. There are more photos uploaded to flickr on the sidebar - aaaaaannnnddddd - some bootleg video from SING coming later.

The New Toy I Plan to Buy

Nikon 7.1 MP Coolpix 7600 Digital Camera

It is only $237.00 at Walmart Online. That is unheard of for a 7.1 Megapixel digital camera. I stil can't believe it is true. I hope to go pick it up today on my way to Waco, if I do, then I can totally get some pictures from the weekend. Which, speaking of the weekend, I am going to see SING tomorrow night. Which to me is better than any musical production I have ever seen. The fun of it is that it is so many shows in one. I love it. I don't think I can take pictures of it, but if I can, I will totally sneak some bootlegs back here and upload them.

Love you guys and gals.

Mommy's Step Aside - Let Daddy Take Over for a while

This past weekend I got into a discussion with two guys and I asked them, "Are you guys close to your Dads?" One of the guys responded, "We are now" He went on, "My father and I never had a relationship until I was about 23 and when we were on a trip together, he told me he wanted to start over with a clean slate and that he had made some mistakes as a father. At first it was akward but by the end of the trip, we started to become close."

The other guy answered, "Growing up I hated my father. My pastor finally told me that I would never have a good relationship with God until I settled matters with my earthly father. " He continued, "I was so angry to hear that since I planned on working in the church, but I went and talked to my father and now we have a good relationship."

When it was my turn to answer my own question, I responded with, "Yes, my Dad and I are pretty close, but we weren't at all when I was growing up."

The guy that told me that he hated his father growing up said that with his son he has "Daddy Days". These are days that just he and his son go off without "mommy" and they spend all day together, just the two of them. He said when they first started going on these little day trips, that his son didn't want to go, he was too attached to his mother, but now he loves to be with just his Dad.

Our discussion continued and all three of us began to wonder if our fathers had raised us hoping to be better fathers than their fathers, or if they just did the best they could and hoped we turned out okay. As men do we sometimes think we have done enough for our families and our children just by providing and putting food on the table? If we have stayed faithful to our wives and played catch a few times and told a few bedtime stories - isn't that enough?

The idea of parenting doesn't scare some people, but it scares me. I know that if I become a parent I have the opportunity to shape tomorrow. I could parent the next Mother Teresa, or the next Hitler. My child could find a cure for AIDS, or he could become a terrorist - a lot of that depends on me.

As men I think it is our responsibility to make sure that our sons and daughters grow up to be secure in who they are, to help them to understand that the world is cruel, but at the end of the day it isn't just mom that they can come to, but that Dad is there too. Dad isn't just the guy who brings home the bacon, he is also the guy who is understanding and is willing to listen before judging. He sets boundaries without being abusive. He solves problems instead of harping about them.

A lot of cool Dad's read my website and I have been inspired by you guys. Keep on lovin' on your babies. Support their dreams. Encourage them, spend time with them, they are your greatest investment.

I'm the one passing you...

I love to drive fast. I don't get to very often, but when the highway is mostly empty on a late night, I can't help it. I push the pedal to the floor and I feel the engine ignite beneath my feet. The power is exciting. The knowing that I am doing something illegal and that I might get caught increases the adrenaline flow and I can't help feel like part of me is alive, a part that doesn't get to live very often. I feed on this adrenaline like a lion feasting on a fresh kill. It's dangerous, but only mildly so, and I don't get to be dangerous enough. Perhaps it is just a guy thing, but every once in a while don't you feel like living on the edge?

So if you see a truck zipping past you at break-neck speeds, that is me. If I am riding your bumper and passing you like we are in a life-sized game of Pole Position, I apologize, because that is me too. Life is too full of restraint, so please allow me this momentary lapse in maturity and judgement.

Random Tuesday

Have you ever sneezed while you were peeing?

I don't know if it is painful for anyone else, but OUCH!!!

I Give Up!

A year ago today I gave up Dr. Pepper. Alan Meadows said it best, "God created the world in 6 days and when he was done he saw that it was good and he shed a tear and he bottled that tear and called it Dr. Pepper."

I love Dr. Pepper, so much so that I used to drink 4-6 12 ounce cans of the stuff a day! I am surprised my kidneys still work. I used to go out and eat and I would get refill after refill of this heavenly beverage and when the meal was over I am sure I consumed a minimum of 4 glasses in one sitting - sometimes more.

I know you might think I am joking, but I am not when I say that I was addicted to Dr. Pepper the way some people are addicted to other drugs. It was the sugar-caffeine combination that held me in it's grip and I couldn't not break free.

For me, I have to quite some things cold turkey. I can't just have a glass of Dr. Pepper once a week or once a month - no, if I start, I have to drink and drink until I am in a sugar induced coma with adult onset diabetes. That is why I had to completely give them up.

So with the dawn of my 1 year no Dr. Pepper Anniversary, I decided to give something else up. A friend of mine suggested I give up potatoes and I think that is what it will be unless the internet gives me a better suggestion.

Can I give up potatoes? I don't know, but I do know that they are about as unhealthy as Dr. Pepper. Oh, and I am NOT giving up chocolate - that would be an unfathomable feat that would take my death to accomplish.

So what unhealthy item should I give up?

Pennsylvania

Diarrhea = Diarrheeto

Galleria = Gonorrhea

Changing lanes is not gradual - it is an instantaneous jerky motion. It appears that the driver may be having a seizure - this is normal driving in Pennsylvania.

Home to Hershey's and Amish people.

It's good to be back in the Mecca of all things wonderful - Texas, you will always be home.

The New ManiAAC Hotness

For those of you who haven't already gotten your signed copy, here is our new ManiAAC poster. Yeah, that is me in the center...

Poster Designed by Biggy.

The Drums

This is a true story...

Thursday morning I woke up at 5:10. I thought I heard drumming. I got up, I turned off my fan and I held my breath as I listened. I heard nothing. It was absolutely quiet. I laid back down and I heard the drumming again. I realized that it must be in my head and so I forced myself to lie there until I fell back asleep.

Friday morning I awoke at 5:10. Again I heard the drumming. This time I repeated the previous day's performance with the same result. Am I going insane?

The weekend passed without incident. Monday and Tuesday I slept just fine. Last night I dreamed a series of bizarre nightmares - none of them so terrifying that I woke up in a cold sweat, but each one left a residue disturbing enough that when I awoke at 5:10 on the nose to the sound of drums that I closed my eyes and prayed that I wasn't indeed losing my mind.

The sound that I hear is an incessant pounding. It is not music, but noise. And for some reason it reminds me of Poe's poem, The Bells. I have written a similar piece, but my mental prose is titled The Drums.

The Apprentice

TIer to be contestant on 'The Apprentice'(08 Feb 2006)

A Dallas TIer has landed a spot on the next season of "The Apprentice," the TV show in which contestants vie for a job with real-estate magnate Donald Trump.

At 27, he has worked at TI for five years and holds two bachelor's degrees, one in liberal arts from St. Anselm College and one in electrical engineering from The Catholic University of America. He has played rugby for the Dallas Harlequins, and he has rowed crew in the Henley Royal Regatta in England. He's also a member of Mensa, an organization of people with high IQs. As part of being a contestant, he has his own Web site: www.tsaab.com.

Yes, I am a little bit envious of him, not because he is going to be on the Apprentice, but because he is a member of MENSA and I always envy brainy people. This guy reminds me a lot 0f one of my best friends, Alan Meadows, after talking to him for 3 minutes you can tell he is extremely intelligent. Alan was part of the inspiration for this template, he is in the Airforce and he worked very hard to get there. He even went through a bizarre surgery so that he could get in and now he is a pilot at Tinker Airforce base. I admire anyone that is that committed.

On a different note, I added some dog tags to the masthead of the template compliments of Biggy. He photoshopped them with a transparent background. I added a drop shadow and voila, we have a unique element added to the site design. Biggy also stumbled across a bit of puzzling CSS code that was causing all of his active pictures to become black and white. He thought it was a bug when it was actually a feature. I have employed this feature on my pictures. Now my pictures display black and white and when you hover over them, they change to color! Thanks Biggy for all the help! You ROCK!

The Girl Scout Cookie... Monster

Ben tossed and turned in his bed, he couldn't sleep despite the fact that he was undeniably tired. He stumbled out of bed and realized that his mouth was cool and minty, as if he had slept with chewing gum in his mouth. Slipping into the bathroom he shut the door before turning on the light. Sydney was a light sleeper and he hated to wake her. Why did he feel so full? Ugh. His stomach seemed to be packed tighter than a 5 pound bag filled with 10 pounds of potatoes.

His hands rummaged around his bare stomach while his eyes continued to adjust to the bright light. Releasing a slow yawn he looked into the mirror. It was then that he noticed the brown substance surrounding his mouth. Puzzled, he moved closer to the mirror for a better look. Without thinking about it he flicked his tongue out of his mouth and lightly licked his lips. It was sweet and tasted a lot like chocolate. He gingerly touched the dark substance with the tip of his finger and it was indeed sticky. Where did this come from he thought? Then it hit him - his daughter's Girl Scout cookies, the ones that were already sold, the ones he wasn't allowed to eat. So when did he eat them? In his sleep?

Making his way through the living room he stubbed his toe on the coffee table, he stifled a yelp, he didn't want to wake Micker Mackers and Bug Bug - especially while his face was covered in chocolate. His stomach was still hurting and it continued to protrude like a beach ball. Turning on the light in the dining room he saw something that frightened him more than a poltergeist or the the living dead. Lying on the floor, scattered on the top of the table were dozens and dozens of empty cookie wrappers. Empty Green boxes of thin mints lay next to empty boxes of Dosie-Dos, a red box of Tag Alongs was ripped open, it's contents MIA.

Ben reached out and picked up an empty box and when he touched it he felt a jolt flash through him not unlike a jolt of electricity. Instantly he felt compelled to eat another roll of Thin Mints. He rifled through the heaps of empty boxes hoping to find one unopened. He shook box after box, red, yellow, green - they were all empty. His desire became more intense despite the fact that his stomach was already filled to capacity. His desperation turned frantic and he started whimpering like a rabid monkey. He wheezed and panted, he jumped on the table and pounded his chest. He kicked the empty boxes and continued his search until there in the midst of the scattered debris he found an unopened box of Samoas. Eureka! He ripped into the box with his bare teeth and clawed it open with feverish hands. He pulled himself to a corner and gorged on the chocolate coconut goodness despite the fact that his insides could barely contain another morsel. With every bite his stomach bulged out threatening to explode, but he didn't stop, he couldn't stop. He was driven by a need, a primordial hunger that he could not explain. He ran into the kitchen and opened up the fridge and found a carton of milk. He drank greedily from the open container and continued to eat the Samoas.

***

Sydney awoke to the sounds of whimpering. She reached out for Ben and realized that she was alone. Assuming that he had gone to check on their newborn son Benji, she laid there for a moment listening. Then she heard it. The dull thrud of something... something hitting a wall? She didn't need intuition to tell her that something was wrong. She flung herself out of the bed and headed toward the dining room. She opened the door and noticed that all of the cookies had been eaten. Her favorites, the Tag-Alongs, were all gone. She went from the dining room and into the kitchen and the sight before her shocked her deep within her core.

Ben stood there, his pale white skin covered in patches of unruly hair. White striped boxers pulled up around a nearly distended belly. Crumbs and chocolate covered his face. Milk dripped down his chin and he drank straight from the green milk carton.

Enraged she almost couldn't contain herself. "Ben, how many times do I have to ask you not to drink from the carton?!"

Ben stopped drinking and looked at Sydney - he had been caught with his hand not in the cookie jar, but in the cookie box. He sheepishly lowered the carton and wiped his chin with his forearm. Without waiting for an answer Sydney continued, "And another thing, is it too much to ask that you save me a box of Tag-Alongs?"

Grey's Anatomy

Two words - HOLY.CRAP.

Did you see that guy explode? I totally wasn't expecting that.

Winter Olympics - did you watch the snowboarding? If you did, don't you totally want to go snowboarding right this minute!

Change is Imminent

Eddo and the City - that was the name of my other template that everyone seemed to love. It's simple Italian Trattoria style masthed in sepia tones matched with subtle shades of brown seemed to be soothing to everyone.

The old template was indeed warm and inviting, but it wasn't complex. It contained very few special CSS elements and it did nothing to challenge my programming skills - this new template does. The template you are looking at took me about 30 hours to create. It uses more images that any other template design that I have done. It also has jump list for my blog roll and a flikr photo album that dynamically pulls my most recently uploaded images from the flikr website.

Eddo and the City took me about an hour to create. I created it last year, and it didn't push me to try anything new. If you know me, then you know that I like to constantly challenge myself. I get bored so darn easily and this site is my ultimate creative outlet. Here I am actually pretty good at something and I can see the results quickly. This site is my therapy.

Not all of my design concepts make good blog websites - if you see my Marry Me page you will see a design that I did that looked good in my brain, but didn't come out so well on the web - but it was fun trying it out. I am also working this site into a manageable cascading style sheet design where the style sheet is external to the page - something that I have been too lazy to alter in the past. Once I make these changes the site can be entirely edited by changing one page and that will be nice - especially when it comes to blogger updates. Publishing a new template for 6 blogs is time consuming.

So I have bored you long enough. I'll post something interesting later.

Remember Our Troops

There is no price for freedom because it cannot be bought, instead it is continually leased. We pay for our most precious commodity, the thing we cherish the most, with the people we cherish the most.

Don't stop believing in America, don't stop supporting our troops. You may not support George W. Bush or the war in Iraq, but you should still support the troops and the people that give up their lives for our safety and our freedom.

Naked Comfort

I don't think women realize that men are simple. All we want is someone we can come home to at night and be comfortable with when we are naked. A woman that laughs at our jokes and says "thank you" when we do something nice. A good mother to our children. Someone who understands that sometimes we are insensitive, but at the end of the day we chose them out of millions of other women to spend the rest of our life with and for a man that is a nearly impossible task.

***

I have a friend at work named Sandy, I think every woman should be more like her. She never complains. She is always extremely appreciative of anything that you do for her. She always delights in the little things no matter how insignificant and she is very thoughtful. When you are with her you can be yourself and she makes you feel good about yourself.

On this note, and because everyone seems to be talking about relationships around Valentines Day, I decided to make a list of what guys do and don't want when it comes to women. (for me Christian is a given so I won't elaborate on that here)

Wants:

Appreciative - If a man does something nice for you, be excited and tell him thank you or else you might not ever get anything nice again and it will be your own fault.

Responsive - if a man shows interest in something, take note, this is something NOT to be taken lightly. Women ALWAYS seem to underestimate the interests of a man. We CANNOT be changed in this department. We WILL choose our car, video game, sports team, internet - over you so the best thing to do is show interest in what we love to do. (I am using a bit of hyperbole here, maybe poorly, but I am just trying to make a point) So maybe he hates going shopping with you, when was the last time you worked on the car with him? If a guy you are with spends too much time doing something you don't like, then you better get out early, because the likelihood of him giving it up is VERY slim.

Attractive - for men all attraction is different but I think we all want someone that we can be proud of. Take care of yourself. Sometimes women let themselves go because they think, "Why bother, I am too - fat, ugly, short, tall, skinny, etc." Personally I like a woman that is put together, I thought Star Jones was beautiful even when she was overweight because she was always put together and she was always smiling - I bet she smelled good too.

Fun - I should have put this one first. Who doesn't like to have fun? When you get past all the physical part of relationships the most important part is fun.

Reciprocity - if a guy is spending his hard earned money on you, then do something nice for him every now and then. This girl I used to date would rub my shoulders and massage my back at random times and I loved it. It was the little things like that that made me love her. (unfortunately she broke up with me or else we would probably be married now)


Don't Wants:

Harsh, Abrasive, Controlling, Bossy, Manipulative - the biggest turn off for me is a bossy woman. There have been girls in my past that I thought were very pretty and very attractive and they turned me off forever by being too bossy or too harsh. This is important not just in relationships, but in life - chill out psycho.

Boring - Have some goals, have some interests other than shopping and Desperate Housewives, be interesting.

Insecurity - If we are with you, then we WANT to be with you. Don't stress about the relationship and if you are not getting what you need out of the relationship to make you feel secure then talk to him and if he still doesn't change, then it might be best to get out of it. You'll feel better for being the one that was strong enough to end it and your new found confidence will make you more attractive.

Promiscuity - No one wants a toy that everyone else has already played with. Wrap that package up nicely and we'll wait to see what is inside.


The bad news for women is that men rarely change, women I think are more capable of adjusting, and so we expect them to - we expect them to conform to us. It isn't fair, I didn't make up the rules, I didn't give us X&Y chromosomes, I am just stating the facts.

Edited: 11:12 AM I think everyone is mis-interpreting my closing line. I probably should have worded it better... My point is that I like to dance, and I am not going to stop dancing - Ever. I am going to marry someone that likes to dance. I like to sing. I won't stop singing, it is who I am. I want someone to like my singing and if they don't like it, then I won't marry them either. I am not saying that you shouldn't change things or mature, or grow with your mate - that is just crazy, what I am saying is pick someone that you are compatible with, not someone that you think you can make compatible with you.


Happy Valentines Day weekend!

Rolling Stones?

More like Rolling Bones...

Why did the half-time of the Super Bowl have to feature the Rolling Stones?
If I wanted to see the Crypt Keeper I would have watched reruns of Tales from the Crypt. And was that Frankenstein on the drums or a zombie from Night of the Living Dead? I don't mean to hate, the Stones are a classic group, but come on - enough already! The Superbowl should have gotten U2 and Mary J. Blige to perform. Did you see them last night on the Grammy's? THEY TORE. IT. UP!

And speaking of the Grammy's...

Kanye West didn't win - again - but he was up against some stiff competition - U2 - who ended up winning about 9000 Grammy's last night for their album How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb.

Did you see Christina Aguilera? She looked MUCH better (less dirt more shirt) and she sang beautifully while Herbie Hancock played the piano - now that is classy.

And I know everyone loves to hate on Mariah Carey, but that girl can blow! She set it off with We belong together and then ended with some new song I have never heard. Did you know she can sing in 7 octaves? Did you know that her mother is an Opera singer? Did you know that she once asked me out on a date and I turned her down because I was going through the Program at Denton Bible Church where we are not allowed to date. Yeah, I bet you didn't know that.

Also, did you catch Kelly Clarkson's performance of Because of You? She is like a slice of heavenly bread with angel butter - her singing is just delicious, and so is she.

I also enjoyed the country performance by Sugarland - despite the fact that the microphone kept messing up, they still rocked it and that lead singer woman is hot. She is sexy and seasoned and I am not sure if I have said it in the past but I will say it now - I have always had a thing for older women - just call me Ashton Kutcher...

Would You Change?

This is a great song by Tracy Chapman. It is one of my favorites of hers because it asks so many good questions - deep questions - it really makes you think.

Download it here.

If you knew that you would die today,
Saw the face of god and love,
Would you change? Would you change?

If you knew that love can break your heart
When you're down so low you cannot fall
Would you change?Would you change?

How bad, how good does it need to get?
How many losses? How much regret?
What chain reaction would cause an effect?
Makes you turn around,
Makes you try to explain,
Makes you forgive and forget,
Makes you change?Makes you change?

If you knew that you would be alone,
Knowing right, being wrong,
Would you change?Would you change?

If you knew that you would find a truth
That brings up pain that can't be soothed
Would you change?Would you change?

How bad, how good does it need to get?
How many losses? How much regret?
What chain reaction would cause an effect?

Makes you turn around,
Makes you try to explain,
Makes you forgive and forget,
Makes you change?Makes you change?

Are you so upright you can't be bent?
If it comes to blows are you so sure you won't be crawling?
If not for the good, why risk falling?Why risk falling?

If everything you think you know,
Makes your life unbearable,
Would you change?Would you change?

If you'd broken every rule and vow,
And hard times come to bring you down,
Would you change?Would you change?
If you knew that you would die today,
If you saw the face of God and love,
Would you change?Would you change?
Would you change?Would you change?

If you saw the face of God and love
If you saw the face of God and love
Would you change?Would you change?

Sometimes I feel like Donkey, Sometimes I feel like Shrek

I spend a good portion of my day being a chatty little ass. I talk and I rib people and I tell jokes and I am always the life of the party - or at least I think so. I am sure, just like Donkey, that after a while I start to get on people's nerves, but I don't care, because that is what asses do - we make asses of ourselves.



Then there are times when I am no longer in the mood to be fun. This happens rarely, but there are days when I am just a big ogre. My fun buttons have all been pushed, my jokes have all been told, and I feel like Debbie Downer, but that happens so rarely that most people don't even notice.

So what is the point of this lame attempt at a clever blog post?

Last night I had to be an ogre. After a month of putting up with my neighbor listening to his music too loud, I finally went upstairs and I told him that his frickin' music was way to frickin' loud! Before I went upstairs I painted myself green, I was going for the incredible Hulk look, but unfortunately, I looked more like Shrek.

The funny thing is, I don't like confrontation and so I normally have to wait until I am really upset before I will say something and then I do a crappy job of saying what I need to say. Last night I just went up and I was actually really nice and the whole situation was not even 1% as dramatic as I had envisioned.

I had imagined myself storming up the stairs in a rage, pounding on his door with both fist while I hurled profanities at the metal barrier. Once he opened the door I planned on picking him up and spinning him around and around in circles over my head and then thrusting him over the balcony where his pathetic and puny little body would bounce once and his legs and arms would have been contorted and twisted into inhumanly possible positions. I would then dance to the shrill music of his screams and further rebuke him for his unholy actions. "People gotta sleep PUNK!!" A final kick to the kidney and then I would slam my door before calling 911 - apparently someone tried to commit suicide...

It didn't go down like that though, Jason, my neighbor, was actually very apologetic and humble and he turned his music down. It's a good thing too, or else you might be getting this blog post straight from the Plano jailhouse.

The Breakup

I recently read an article by Augusten Burroughs called, "It Takes Two, Baby". In this article Burroughs discusses relationships and how it requires work from both parties in order for relationships to work.

Here is an excerpt from the article:

"We want our relationships to be great, and great all the time. On their own. Work-free partnered bliss. As soon as issues occur we think, "This one's not right for me." Or, "We're growing apart."

I finished reading the article and I realized it described me to a "T". I get ancy, and sometimes even flighty when the honeymoon phase is over. I get bored with things easily and as soon as something is not working out for me I end it - or at least that is how I used to be.

At 30 I realize I am hyper-sensitive. I over-dramatize, I imagine the worst possible scenarios, and I work myself into an apoplectic frenzy when it comes to complicated situations that involve emotions and feelings.

So when I realized that Cat and I needed to talk about some things I actually talked to her, something that I normally try to avoid. It was a good talk, a much needed level two conversation where I informed her of my intentions for our future and where I thought we were headed.

A month later I realized something that no one ever wants to realize when they really care about someone - we needed to end our relationship.

I think when relationships are over people always think that there was something wrong with one person or the other. People want to take sides. They want to bad mouth the other person. With Cat and I, no one was really at fault, it just wasn't meant to be.

We had a great talk and I told her that I don't think we are at the same place in our lives right now and that perhaps at a different time maybe it would have worked out between us, but for now, I think God has a different plan. She agreed wholeheartedly. As far as breakups go it was probably one of the best I have ever gone through. No tears. No resentment. No regrets.

I am thankful for the time I had with Cat. We had fun. She made me feel truly special. I wrote this poem for her, but I never gave it to her.

I want to give you the world
But it might be too heavy.
I want to give you might heart
but it might beat too loud
I want to sing you a song
Something slow and steady
I want to be humble,
But you make me too proud.

I know it might be a bit much, I am a hopeless romantic, a big cheese basket, but it's me. It's who I am, take it or leave it.

I love you all.

Enjoying

Matisyahu - King Without a Crown

Download the MP3 and listen to this unlikely Reggae master (This will expire)

Song lyrics

Chorus:
What's this feeling?
My love will rip a hole in the ceiling
Givin' myself to you from the essence of my being
Sing to my God all these songs of love and healing
Want Mashiach now so it's time we start revealing
You're all that I have and you're all that I need
Each and every day I pray to get to know you please
I want to be close to you, yes I'm so hungry
You're like water for my soul when it gets thirsty
Without you there's no me
You're the air that I breathe
Sometimes the world is dark and I just can't see
With these, demons surround all around to bring me down to negativity
But I believe, yes I believe, I said I believe
I'll stand on my own two feet
Won't be brought down on one knee
Fight with all of my might and get these demons to flee
Hashem's rays fire blaze burn bright and I believe
Out of darkness comes light, twilight unto the heights
Crown Heights burnin' up all through the twilight
Said, thank you to my God, now I finally got it right
And I'll fight with all of my heart, and all a' my soul, and all a' my might


Bridge:
Me no want no sinsemilla.
That would only bring me down
Burn away my brain no way my brain is to compound
Elevated my soul you're a flying my sound
Like the sun of a sun ray burning up through a cloud
Torah food for my brain let it rain till I drown
Thunder!

Let the blessings come down
Strip away the layers and reveal your soul
Got to give yourself up and then you become whole
You're a slave to yourself and you don't even know
You want to live the fast life but your brain moves slow
If you're trying to stay high then you're bound to stay low
You want God but you can't deflate your ego
If you're already there then there's nowhere to go
If you're cup's already full then its bound to overflow
If you're drowning in the water's and you can't stay afloat
Ask Hashem for mercy and he'll throw you a rope
You're looking for help from God you say he couldn't be found
Looking up to the sky and searchin' beneath the ground
Like a King without his Crown

Yes, I wanna get down
A King without his Crown
Yes, you keep fallin' down
You really want to live but can't get rid of your frown
Tried to reach unto the heights and wound bound down on the ground
Given up your pride and the you heard a sound
Out of night comes day and out of day comes light
Nullified to the One like sunlight in a ray,
Makin' room for his love and a fire gone blaze

Chorus
Reelin' him in
Where ya been
Where ya been
Where ya been for so long
It's hard to stay strong been livin' in galus (exile) for 2000 years strong
Where ya been for so long
Been livin in this exile for too long

Overheard

I am at Barnes and Noble reading in one of the coveted cushy chairs, and this guy picks up his cell phone behind me:

"Hello"

"I am at the College library, why"

"Oh, okay, I love you."

The funny thing was that right after he said he was at the library, a voice came over the speaker that said really loud, "I need Maria to the front, Maria to the front please."

Busted!

Crumbs

Tonight Crumbs is on! Have you seen this show? It has Fred Savage in it and who doesn't love Fred Savage?! I mean we grew up watching him in The Wonder Years and The Princess Bride! So last week I watched Crumbs and man it was FUNNY - so watch it tonight - I think it comes on at 8 on Fox - you'll thank me for it.

Also, did you hear that Zach Braff and Mandi Moore are getting married! I love them both so much that I don't know who I am jealous of more - Mandi or Zach!

Okay, that is all for my pop culture update. Check out my Laugh section today because I am posting a story there that my mom sent me and it is funny.

Oh, and some of my most recent pro bono template design...

http://sidewalkcounselorsunited.blogspot.com/

http://thecubiclereverend.blogspot.com/

http://adventuresofanordinarychristian.blogspot.com/

The Scent of a... Man

This morning I got up and went for an early run. I never run in the mornings but after watching American Idol last night I felt inspired. There was this really fat guy on there and I realized that if I didn't get my butt up off the couch more often and start watching what I eat then I was going to end up looking like him.

So I am running along and all this white Ford passes me and I could literally smell cologne in the truck's wake. How do you know when you are using too much cologne? When people outside of your car can smell it while they are jogging.

I don't know if I have mentioned this before, but I have a heightened sense of smell. Sometimes if I think someone is going to smell bad I hold my breath when I pass them. Sometimes I hold it even when I don't think somoene is going to smell bad, I just don't want to smell them. However, if someone does smell good, I notice. There is nothing more attractive to me than a good smelling woman. Beautiful, Chloe Narcisse, Tommy Girl, Romance, Alfred Sung, Pure, Tresor, Amarige, Eternity, Poeme - I know these fragrances well and I love to smell them on a woman. Any woman, no matter how vanilla or plain that they are, can throw on one of these fragrances and suddenly become an exotic beauty to me.

Men, just my advice, women like a good smelling man, but no one likes a man that wears so much cologne that they can't breathe without their nostrils burning when you are near. Lighten up.