Author: Evan Stark

Tonight I leave for a short road trip to Austin. I have lived in Texas my entire 29 years of existence and I have never been to our states capitol. I know what you are thinking, “What a reject from hee-haw!” And if you are thinking that then you are totaly justified. Most of my life here in Texas has been devoted to eating, sleeping, and not cleaning. My momma if she new what a laze she raised would probably be shocked and surprised and if she wasn’t such an unconditionally loving mother she would probably have her name stricken from my birth certificate and have it replaced with someone like Kerstie Alley or Anna Nicole Smith.

Dumas and Cody will be road trippin’ with me and although it is called a road trip we plan to take a few acid trips as well – that is if I can get a recipe for acid online and all the subsequent ingredients at the Albertson’s by my house which is notorious for not having one crucial ingredient for every single special dish I try to whip up.

We will be traveling in a large Ford F250 Diesel pick up truck because when you live in Texas you have to have a truck and the bigger the better. I also plan to wear a straw cowboy hat, cowboy boots, overalls and leather chaps if I can find some in my size.

For lodging we will be staying in a palatial condo owned by a very famous photographer that is currently in France taking photos of the Tour de France. He is cousin to the ever popular Jonathan Dumas who just so happens to have a French name the same last name as Alexander Dumas who wrote the extraordinarily revengeful Count of Monte Cristo.

What is our quest? We plan to see the sites, take pictures of various locales and hot spots in Austin and bring back hordes of pictures that will leave you foaming at the mouth with delight. After viewing these pictures you will need for nothing, not money, not air, not even food because these pictures will be so great that you will probably spontaneously combust with excitement and or disappointment. The goal here at Posted Note is to twist your emotions in such a way that it totally melts your gray matter and you don’t know what is up or down and you are left in a fetal position lying on the floor rocking back and forth in a state of delerium.

During this mini-vacation I do not plan to post any new posts here at Posted Note, however, that does not mean that you cannot come back to visit Posted Note, pore through the archives, read every last word that I have written, and subsequently find yourself with an IQ Level up to but not exceeding the IQ of Einstein multipled by the square root of pi.

I hope each of you has a delightful weekend wherever you are, and if you live in Austin then I would love to see you so drop me a line and we’ll share a hit of homemade acid.

Authors Note: Doing drugs is stupid and wrong and making homemade drugs is also stupid and we at Posted Note do not condone drug usage. If you have a problem with drugs then please get help.

Have you ever been out for Fondue with 3 crazy friends? If not then I suggest you go immediately.

Monday night Jessica and her husband Roger, myself, and KT of Kpinion all went out to dinner to The Melting Pot in Addison. Roger created the surprise birthday dinner for her and you can see pictures of us over at Jessica’s site.

I have had fondue once at a friends house before, but it was nothing like what we had at The Melting Pot. Hot melted swiss cheese mixed with cracked pepper, brandy, and white wine with apples and bread for dipping. With each bite I went into another level of heaven. When the bowl of cheese was empty I immediately started to go into post cheese depression.

Fortunately, Chance our uber hilarious waiter, immediately brought over another fondue pot filled with steaming spices and herbs and plates full of various meats. Duck, Chicken, Pork, Salmon- almost immediately the cheese was forgotten and my spirits were lifted. I consumed bite after bite of freshly cooked meat covered in various sauces. My mouth practically had a seizure of pleasure as my teeth masticated each and every scrumptious morsel.

Soon the meat was gone and I was ready for dessert.

Plates of cheesecake, marshmallows, brownies, poundcake, strawberries, and bananas were brought out, as well as an already warm bowl of caramel and chocolate. After my first taste of the warm melted chocolate I had an out of body experience.

Floating on an ethereal plane I think I saw the face of Jesus. A never before felt euphoria settled into my being and the waves of pleasure I experienced were definitely otherworldly. As each bite was consumed I experienced this same explosive pleasure again and again. I dipped in and out, in and out of this bowl of goodness and when it was finally consumed I feened for more like a heroine addict. My body convulsed and I almost when into a full epileptic seizure. Fortunately, my companions had experienced this type of reaction before and so they immediately began talking me through this withdrawal.

Soon thereafter, having regained my faculties, I made my way to my vehicle feeling similar to the way Lance Armstrong must have felt after he won his 6th Tour de France – elated, satisfied, tired.

So if you haven’t gone to The Melting Pot, I recommend you go, go now! What are you waiting for Silly!

I wade through the murky depths of my apartment hoping to avoid cleaning it for another day. Shrouded in darkness the discarded clothes left on the floor, on the table, and on the couch make the room look as if there has recently been an invasion of The Body Snatchers.

Dishes piled high in neat rinsed stacks waited to be placed into the dishwasher. They look at me each day with disapproving eyes shaming me with their presence. Each plate, each cup, each saucer seems to say the same thing to me, “Your mother taught you better than this!”.

In my defiance I just remove my clothing and toss it in a heap on the living room floor. I parade around rebelliously like a college student in his freshman year. I flip through a stack of magazines; Runner’s World, MuscleMag, and Muscle and Fitness. I pause to look at Michael Chiklis on the cover of Muscle and Fitness and think to myself he’s come a long way since The Commish.

The apartment is warm. I was taught to conserve energy so I keep the thermostat at 80 when I am away. Sauntering over to my ever-inviting plum purple couch I prop pillows behind my back and beneath my calves. I turn on the telly and watch Oprah and then the news.

For an hour or more I luxuriate in the gloriousness of no responsibility wondering if there is anything more to life. Pulling myself up from the couch I move to my bedroom where my unmade bed stares at me blankly, I stare back resisting the miniscule urge to make it. An unnoticeable smile crossing my face like a kid who has just gotten away with stealing a cookie from the cookie jar.

Dressed I make my way to the gym and as I walk out the door my apartment begs me 0ne last time for a good cleansing, but the pleas fall on deaf ears. I shut out their cries because that is what we single men do.

This is the first time in my life that I have ever not had a clean apartment and I realize that the time will come when I will be married with children and my wife will expect a clean house, and I myself will expect a clean house. But for now, I am going to enjoy the fact that I will clean things whenever I darn well please and sometimes that feeling of doing something whenever I want is better than the feeling of a clean house.

Fantastic Four Bewitched

Friday night I went and saw Bewitched with a good friend of mine – Nathan Allison. Nathan got married a month ago today and his wife already had to have a “Girls Night Out” – can’t say I blame her. (just kidding nathan!)

Fantastic Four was really funny. I laughed numerous times and would watch it again in a heartbeat. I think it will be a DVD buy for me.

Saturday I went with Jimmy and Jill to Houston’s here in Dallas off of Preston and Royal. If you live here in Dallas then it is a “must eat” restaurant. Everything is very warmly lit, the place is uber trendy without being pretentious. I really enjoyed it. After an early lunch we all went to see Bewitched and I laughed so loud once that I embarrassed myself which is a rarity.

Designs Within Reach

Sunday I worked on Anne Fitten’s site, her actual book site, not her blog site. It is going supremely well and should be 99% complete this week. However, I had a few requests for template designs and so I obliged with these two latest installments.

http://www.postednote.com/happy.htm

Have you heard of The Phantom Prof? She also writes this blog about reality TV and so I put together this site for her. Her actual site where the template may or may not be posted yet is: http://elinertv.blogspot.com or http://phantomprof.blogspot.com which the template on that site was also created by eddo.

Another site I created for Steve is located here:

http://givemefiftyfeet.blogspot.com

Steve asked for something with Crosses and so I came up with this site. Steve, however, is in Russia I believe and so his template won’t be posted until he gets back. His site is here:

http://jubalingen.blogspot.com/

I hope everyone had a great weekend and look for something more metaphorical later this week from Posted Note.

Who loves you? Eddo of Posted Note.

Rage filled Azarian as he looked out upon the world from 32nd floor of his apartment. He had wished that he could reach out and grab the sun and pull it to the closer to the Earth. He could almost hear the screams of people shouting as they burst into flame. Like a child he made sound effects as he fantasized about the mass hysteria, the confusion, and the destruction.

Azarian had always been a determined man. From an impoverished youth he had quite literally turned rags into riches by creating a synthetic material that cleaned like nothing else.