I saw this on Good Morning America this morning and apparently the site only launched yesterday and already has over 2,000 members.
You buy gas in bulk and can save money because the price per gallon doesn’t change. So if you bought the gas at $3 per gallon then when the gas goes up to $18 per gallon you will be saving $15 per gallon! You will almost hope that gas prices go up so you can feel smug at the pump paying only $3!
Last night I was watching my recorded episode of So You Think You Can Dance and I realized that when Nigel smiles really big, he looks like a character from Chicken Run.
Chelsea, the former Mavs Dancer, didn’t do so well last night which upset me because I keep hoping she will go far.
I realized today that I have heard this equation my whole life but I have no idea what it means. I looked it up today. This was Einstein’s formula that he came up with in 1905. I wonder why it is so popular? Why is it the one equation out of many that is part of our pop culture? Because it is related to the atom bomb.
In physics, mass–energy equivalence is the concept that any mass has an associated energy and vice versa. In special relativity this relationship is expressed using the mass–energy equivalence formula
where
If I were to analyze my life as a pie chart, I’d say it’s pretty complete. Actually, I’d say it’s 100% complete. I’m happy… so why does the rest of the world make me feel so incomplete?
I had a recent invite to a housewarming party. “Are you and Erin still together?” The line was heavy with hope, but I dashed those dreams of a future Mrs. Renz with a simple response. “Nope, it’s just going to be me.” In my mind I am thinking, “Aren’t I enough?”
Another friend that I’ve known for years asked me, “So, do you have another girlfriend yet?” It’s only been about 3 weeks since I broke up with Erin. “No, I just don’t feel ready to date.” Her response was, “Well, maybe you are just in a rut.” Um, no, not in a rut. Just not ready to be tied down. I feel like I’ve got to have this long list of reasons why I am still single. I’ve got to defend my single status and then when I do, people either: don’t believe me, think I am crazy, or they want to set me up with someone. I know they mean well, but sometimes I feel like if I don’t get married soon enough that I will be sent off to a singles colony where people with the “single” disease live separate from the rest of the normal world. I’ve got all these friends who are married now and having children. Their lives seem to be speeding along the achievement highway while my life is still stuck in the parking garage.
When I look around me, I see people who have been handed a “Successful Life Checklist” and they are desperate to check things off: Go to college, get a good job, find a husband, buy a house, have some kids, have grandkids, die. Like busy bees they buzz around with each other showing off their Vera Bradley diaper bags and their brand new Honda Odysseys. They have mommy playdates while the dads play golf and and watch their 401k’s. “My Johnny is on the soccer team, my Susie is a cheerleader.” It’s a neat tidy world filled with the wonderful bliss of smooshy baby cheeks and butterfly kisses and why in the world wouldn’t I want to be a part of all that? I do, just not yet.
What I see is a load of responsibility tying me down and keeping me from doing something really amazing with my life. Right now my life is still filled with hope and possibility, I’m not ready to give that up. I honestly think being a husband and father are two of the most amazing things on the planet. I see men who are faithful and willing to commit their lives to one woman – one woman, forever. Amazing.
With the family package you get a world of love. You are overwhelmed with the love that you feel for your family. You see your children and you did not believe that you had the capacity to care so much about another human being.
My life, with all of it’s drama, seems filled to capacity right now and I’m not willing to share it with anyone else just yet. I keep trying to find someone that is right for me, but each time I feel like they are interfering with the big plans that I have for myself. I don’t want to settle. I don’t just want to live a life where I go to work 40 hours a week and come home to a wife and kids. I want something just a little more and maybe one day I’ll find me a woman that shares my passion and drive to always exceed the status quo.
So yeah, in the pie chart of our American Culture I am missing the wife slice, and the children slice, but I don’t care about that pie chart, I’ve got my own pie chart and it feels 110% complete.
“I was physically violated.”
“We were hooked on drugs.”
“I was addicted to pornography.”
“I found my husband dead.”
“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” – Psalm 23:4 I may fear no evil, but it doesn’t meant that at times things won’t get rough.
Yesterday at the end of the church service people got up and gave a small piece of their testimony and how God had changed their lives. After the service I spoke with a friend and told her that when I am telling someone about my problems that I feel like I am burdening them. I feel like I am whining when sometimes I just need to talk things out.
I have a lot of great friends, friends that are more than willing to listen, but sometimes pride keeps me from sharing my struggles. I don’t want to be seen as weak.
At the funeral on Friday the church filled with Jimmy’s friends and family. His sons cried their eyes out. His mom was racked with pain and guilt. I wondered what was going through Jimmy’s mind at the end.
I’ve toyed with the idea of suicide in my life. Not really thinking I could do it, but I’ve wondered if I was going to do it, how I would do it. I think we may have all thought that sometimes the pressures in life were just too much to bear and that by just ending our lives it would be much easier than to deal with the pressure and the pain.
Desperation. I think that is what it comes down to in the end. I think desperation is closely tied to despair and despair is a dark mire that if you allow yourself to be consumed by it then it is almost impossible to climb out of on your own.
At the funeral service I cried. I cried not for the loss of Jimmy, but for the loss of a father and a son. I cried because of the hurt that I saw my loved ones going through. I loved Jimmy, but I can’t sit here and write this without saying that I feel like he chose the easy way out.
I hope that my Aunt Debbie doesn’t spend the rest of her life wondering what she could have done differently to help her son. We all make our own choices. We can’t blame others for what is going on in our lives, in the end we have to be master and commander of our fate.
As I sat there at Irving Bible Church and listened to each of the people tell their story I realized that I had many of my own. I’ve been in some valleys, valleys so deep that I was scared to death to share on this website because I know my friends and family read this website. I didn’t want to burden others, but more than anything, I didn’t want to let all of you down. I’ve done shameful things in my life that I’m not proud of, I’ve gone through some things that I cannot change, but I can learn from those mistakes and use what I have learned to help others. That is what those people on the stage were doing. They were sharing their hurt so others that are going through the same things can learn from them. They were letting us all know that in our weakness we are not alone. When we fail, we are not alone and if we are fortunate enough to have Christ in our life, we are never alone.