Category: Funny

Top 10 Things I Learned at the Allstate 400 at the Brickyard

 

10.   I have way too many teeth to be a real Nascar fan.

 

9.     You can get away with a full set of teeth only if you are missing an appendage.

 

8.     Shirts are optional – strike that, highly discouraged at Nascar events.

 

7.     However, if you choose to wear a shirt, it better have a driver’s number
on it or you run significant risk of drunk people telling you repeatedly
you must not be a real Nascar fan. (my feelings weren’t hurt)

 

6.     You can also get away with wearing a shirt if it says something like:
“Possum.  It’s what’s fer dinner.”
“F*@# milk!”
“Please tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes.”

 

5.     Riding in a police car can be lots of fun when you’re not in trouble and the
       police car you are in is the “rabbit” car in a police escort.

 

4.     Everyone hates Kyle Busch which I just don’t get cause he’s the M&M driver

       and I’ve always heard M&Ms make friends.

 

3.     They still do an invocation at Nascar events and include statements such as
       “And with the trading of paint, we make a joyful noise unto you o Lord” and
       “Let these good ol’ boys get it on.  In Jesus name amen.”

 

2.     Nascar fans are very creative and come up with new drinks such as the Happy
       (lemonade and vodka) and the Beer Gut (lemonade, beer, ice, and lime).

 

1.     If you ain’t first, you’re last.

Being dumb while trying to insult takes all of the sting out of it! Hopefully, this person was just being funny…

Online practice tests like actual test can be really helpful for you, if you are appearing in mcp exam or any other such exam like mcdst. If you also want to get success in ccie exam or you are planning for comptia certification then get help from such websites.

• When I kissed your lips they were soft and inviting, they tasted sweet, but I could not taste the future #
• My face was burned. It’s peeling now like a snake molting. If you see a shell of my face lying on my desk don’t be alarmed. #

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One of the best things about being a leader at Denton Bible Church was all of the cool things we got to do with the kids. The leader hunt was one of my favorites, even though being 6′ 5″ made it very hard to blend in. What was really great was going to the mall in some strange attire and seeing how people treated you. In the picture above I am going for a Lenny Kravitz look.

This is me going for an Eighties Michael Jackson. I am with Kimberly here… She is one of the high school students. This is the year 2000. I miss those days. I want to go back to them… anyone looking to hire a youth pastor?