Category: Relationships

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Relationships

Teaching Abigail to Say “Gangsta”

Abigail sat next to me in Joe and Amber’s king-size bed. She’s almost two and she can already say quite a few words and some very short sentences – some of my favorite: “Uncle Eddo is the coolest Uncle Ever” and “Yo Dawg Dizzle, that Shizzle is Gangsta!” It sounds so cute coming out of her tiny mouth, however, when combined with a chain that hangs low, a Crip walk, and some gang signs, you can tell this girl ain’t playin’. When I said, “Hi Abigail!” She said, “It’s Abi – Gail, Fool, so stop trippin'” Then she bitch slapped me and said, “Gots to keep it real!”

The Bruner’s are moving to Kentucky and I don’t know how well Abi is going to adjust. She likes to sip her kool-aid while shooting craps with Jackson and some of the other homies on the street. When the money’s all gone, she’ll play four-square or hop-scotch, but they actually hop over a bottle of scotch and then they drink it. In Kentucky there will be no craps, no Kool-aid spiked with extra sugar and gin, instead she will have to stay close to the house or she might get run over by a cow or a chicken. I better send her a 9MM to protect her from those gangsta farm animals, we’ve all heard of mad cow and it ain’t pretty.

While I was in town I tried to teach her to say, “Yo foo, back up out my face! Yo BREF IS STANK!” But she kept saying, “Yo BREF IS TANK!” and that just doesn’t have the same effect and I find that often times farm animals don’t listen, sometimes you have to find the meanest rooster in the pen and kick him around a little bit to get some respect.

When I wasn’t shootin the shizzle with Abi, I was destroying the bike trails with Joe and Stoops. My bike and I were owning those trails and when they gave us some lip I flipped over my handlebars and clobbered a large pile of leaves and a couple of branches and gave them some what-for. We’ll see if they give anyone else trouble for the next few weeks. Silly trails, tryin’ to be all tough, puh-lease.

Saturday night we got the posse together for a game of Nertz. Will “the Killa” Thrilla brought his girl and she was all, “Yo, peeps, I got the 7,8,9 of clubs and I ain’t afraid to use them up in hizzere!” Then she started krumpin’ to a beat only she could hear. Girl had some sick moves and her card playin’ style wasn’t unlike her dance style. Cards were all flyin’, cookies and chocolate were all over the place, it was a brutally good time.

Sunday we went to the “Big House of Repentance” and threw down some crazy praise and worship. I might be a sinner, but that doesn’t mean God doesn’t love me and I don’t love him. He “gets” me even when I am being wack. So I gave him a high-five and a chest bump, broke him off some cheddar for all the blessin’s and love and then we bounced out to Cappaccino Cafe – that joint be off the chain! I was seriously due for some awesome carnage and they didn’t dissapoint. Banana Nut Pecan pancakes, breakfast quesadilla’s, gingerbread pancakes – all of it was so tasty, just the way mom used to buy.

Later that day we played some Racquetball and I had to show Joe and Chuck how I had improved my mad playin’ skillz. I got the skillz that pay the billz and I paid some bills on Joe’s back and head. Chuck even got a little payment on his back – I’m generous like that.

In the end it was a super-fun weekend. One of the best weekends I’ve had all year and now Joe and Amb are going to jet to Kentucky. I’m going to miss them, but when I do go up to visit, I get to eat at Amber’s mom’s house and that will make the trip worthwhile. I mean, I love Joe and Amber, but we all know that my real reason for visiting them is because they are always surrounded by some good grub.

Anyways my peeps, my bros, my sistas, my homies, my crew – I gotsta bounce. In the mean time, keep it real fo realz.

Author’s Note: Many parts of this story were written for comedic value. The Bruner’s don’t drink and neither does Abigail – even though she can be deadly with her cuteness.

Categories
Home Relationships

Home Again

As I was brushing my teeth this morning I finally felt at peace in my house. It’s weird how you don’t even realize the underlying stress and tension that someone can cause you until they are gone.

I poured a cup of Spunky Monkey Coffee and drank it in silence. The house was still and clean. There were no crumbs on my coffee table, the trash was empty. There was no one snoring on my couch.

There are times when I think about what happened with Josh that I still feel a bit of anxiety and emotion about that entire situation. I probably didn’t handle it as best as I could, but I knew I couldn’t live with him any longer. I can only take so much of something until I eventually explode. 

I told Josh to leave last Tuesday. I cut him out of my life, because I was ready to cut him, literally.

I’m 32 now and a good portion of my life was lived with a weight of anxiety, fear and dread. I don’t plan to live like that ever again. I never want my home to be a place that I dread coming home to. It is my refuge, my place of restoration. It’s nice that after a week it’s home again.

Categories
Relationships Stories

Lessons from Dad

Dear Dad,

Do you remember how you used to let me sit on your lap when we’d take long drives? I remember those times like it was yesterday. You trusted me to let me take the wheel, but I always knew you were there in case I got into trouble.

Thanks Dad for always being there whenever I’ve been in trouble.

Dear Dad,

One of my favorite memories is when we used to sit in the kitchen and watch storms late at night. There was a table by the window and sometimes we’d be eating peanut butter and crackers or white powdery donuts and large glasses of milk.

No matter how afraid I was in the storm, I always looked to you. When you were calm, I was calm. You were my rock, my lighthouse.

You always taught me not to be afraid of the storm, but to always be prepared for it.

Dear Dad,

I still remember lying on my back in the lake when I was a little boy. You were teaching me how to float and how to swim.

I didn’t realize it then, but you were teaching me how to survive.

Dear Dad,

Once, you took the whole family up to the church and we mowed the lawn. We worked hard all day and I couldn’t figure out why we would do something like that and then not tell anyone. I asked, “Aren’t we going to tell someone?”

You said, “No, sometimes you do things because they are the right thing to do, not for the praise.”

That day, I learned a lesson in character and humility.

Dear Dad,

I remember you always working in the yard or on the house. There were always endless projects and as a boy I never understood why you never stopped. Now I realize the value of hard work and taking pride in ownership. I know the joy in accomplishment and making something from nothing with your bare hands.

Thanks Dad for showing me that sometimes getting what you want takes hard work and dedication.

Dear Dad,

One year during November it was so cold that we were able to keep about 30 turkeys in the trunk of that old white car Grandma gave us. We got a list from the city and took turkeys to families in need for Thanksgiving. We had a blast.

Thanks for teaching me the joy of giving.

Dear Dad,

Over the years you and mom let people live with us. Unselfishly you gave of your home, your money, your time. Whenever someone needed help, you gave all you could. You picked up hitchhikers and shared with them about Jesus. You were a prime example of a Good Samaritan. You still continue to do this today.

Thanks for showing me what it means to really help others in need. How to be unselfish, and how to share the gospel to whoever, whenever.

Dear Dad,

I remember when you went to the hospital to have a tumor removed from your neck. You never seemed to worry. Later you had prostate cancer and you took it in stride. After the surgery you talked of the pain as if it were nothing more than a mosquito bite.

Thanks for teaching me to be strong in the face of adversity.

Dear Dad,

We joke about it now, that week long fishing adventure where we caught our own bait in various dirty ponds and then strung up trot lines. It was a grueling week with lots of work, but when I look back on it, I remember it with fond memories. I was learning to do things that many young men would be afraid of. I was learning to face challenges. Learning how to clean fish and becoming a man. There were times when we would go into ponds filled with snakes and green moss, at first they scared me, but after a time I wasn’t afraid of anything in the water.

Thanks for teaching me to face my fears and to not be afraid of the unknown.

Dear Dad,

I remember digging our own septic system and even bricking it. We dug that big hole and then we poured a concrete floor and then we built walls, brick by brick. It was hard, but fascinating. In my whole life I’ve never felt limited. I’ve always known that I can do anything once I’ve set my mind to it. I learned that from you.

Dear Dad,

When we were younger, I remember you taking us to church. Later, you and mom took over the youth ministry at The Pentecostal Church of God, but you didn’t stop there. You branched out and created Megalife and started a youth ministry that really did some amazing things. There are times when I am at work and people doubt possibilities. They see dead ends where I see opportunities and challenges.

You and mom always overcame obstacles. You helped me to be an over-comer and a visionary.

Dear Dad,

When I played football my senior year at Liberty, you came to all my games. When you are a kid you don’t appreciate the time and money that goes into raising a child.

Now that I’m grown I realize that you make time for whatever is important to you.

Thanks for making time for me

Dear Dad,

I remember going to work with you and watching you do things that other managers never would have done. You repaired grout in the kitchens, you scrubbed the floors in the dining rooms, no matter where you’ve worked, you’ve always gone the extra mile.

Thanks for teaching me the importance for going the extra mile.

Categories
Relationships

GT’s to the Power of 10

Last night I went to my friend Linda’s house-warming party. It was off the chain. At 2:30 a.m. I finally left, but I could have stayed all night. Her next door neighbors are super fun and we just talked and laughed for hours. Linda’s new house is in the Lake Highlands area of Dallas which is one of those neighborhoods that have been around for years with huge trees and wonderful backyards. People are social and they care about their homes and their neighborhood. I loved it.

Today I woked up around 11:00 and all day I’ve been on this sort of “high” from that party. It was such an enjoyable experience. I really like being around fun people, but Casey and Meagan were so much fun that I wished that they would just let me move in with them so we could hang out forever. Everything was so light and carefree and the conversation was non-stop laughs. Linda was busy entertaining guests, but finally everyone left and it was just the four of us in the backyard having a great time.

Now I am really on fire to build a nice deck and outdoor patio area at my house so I can try to recreate this experience. The only problem is that I am afraid that my neighbors aren’t going to be as cool as Meagan and Casey.

Thanks Lulu for one of the best party’s of the year. Last night rocked my face clean off.

Categories
Culture Relationships

The Valley of the Shadow of Death

“I was physically violated.”

“We were hooked on drugs.”

“I was addicted to pornography.”

“I found my husband dead.”

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.” – Psalm 23:4 I may fear no evil, but it doesn’t meant that at times things won’t get rough.

Yesterday at the end of the church service people got up and gave a small piece of their testimony and how God had changed their lives. After the service I spoke with a friend and told her that when I am telling someone about my problems that I feel like I am burdening them. I feel like I am whining when sometimes I just need to talk things out.

I have a lot of great friends, friends that are more than willing to listen, but sometimes pride keeps me from sharing my struggles. I don’t want to be seen as weak.

At the funeral on Friday the church filled with Jimmy’s friends and family. His sons cried their eyes out. His mom was racked with pain and guilt. I wondered what was going through Jimmy’s mind at the end.

I’ve toyed with the idea of suicide in my life. Not really thinking I could do it, but I’ve wondered if I was going to do it, how I would do it. I think we may have all thought that sometimes the pressures in life were just too much to bear and that by just ending our lives it would be much easier than to deal with the pressure and the pain.

Desperation. I think that is what it comes down to in the end. I think desperation is closely tied to despair and despair is a dark mire that if you allow yourself to be consumed by it then it is almost impossible to climb out of on your own.

At the funeral service I cried. I cried not for the loss of Jimmy, but for the loss of a father and a son. I cried because of the hurt that I saw my loved ones going through. I loved Jimmy, but I can’t sit here and write this without saying that I feel like he chose the easy way out.

I hope that my Aunt Debbie doesn’t spend the rest of her life wondering what she could have done differently to help her son. We all make our own choices. We can’t blame others for what is going on in our lives, in the end we have to be master and commander of our fate.

As I sat there at Irving Bible Church and listened to each of the people tell their story I realized that I had many of my own. I’ve been in some valleys, valleys so deep that I was scared to death to share on this website because I know my friends and family read this website. I didn’t want to burden others, but more than anything, I didn’t want to let all of you down. I’ve done shameful things in my life that I’m not proud of, I’ve gone through some things that I cannot change, but I can learn from those mistakes and use what I have learned  to help others. That is what those people on the stage were doing. They were sharing their hurt so others that are going through the same things can learn from them. They were letting us all know that in our weakness we are not alone. When we fail, we are not alone and if we are fortunate enough to have Christ in our life, we are never alone.