Category: Relationships

I often find myself crying when I watch a movie where people are hurting or happy. I used to wonder why I could feel so much, but I don’t worry about that much anymore. When I see a story where a mother has lost a child on tv, I know that it’s just a movie, but I cry for those mother’s who have actually lost a child, or a daughter that was raped, or a for a boy who’s parents divorced. My heart swells up inside my chest like a balloon and I’m transported to a moment of clarity, or reality so intense that I cannot hold back the boiling flood of emotions that is always simmering just below the surface.

I get emotional when I see some great act of kindness or integrity or honor. I find myself weeping with joy when I see a soldier reunited with his family or a father reunited with his son.

I’m no longer ashamed of my emotion or my capacity to feel or love or understand. It may appear a weakness to some, but I believe it is my greatest strength. We love Christ because he first loved us and so when we emulate Christ we love others and then in return we are loved.

Lately I’ve been shown love in such great capacity that I cannot help but see that people love me because of Christ and hopefully because I showed them how much I love and care about them. To me, each person in my life is special and I hope to somehow touch their lives by just loving them for who they are and letting them know that they are special to me.

There was a time in my life when I found myself chasing despair and I literally cried out to God asking him to send me some friends. I was desperate and God heard my cry and now my cup runneth over with friends – and not just shallow friends, but true friends who I can count on in a pinch and who don’t just tell me that they love me, but show me.

I’m humbled every day by how great my life is and how good God has been to me. For so long I found myself whining on this very website feeling sorry for myself or being upset about something in my life, but what I’ve learned over the past 34 years is that God truly is in control and he knows what is best for me.

I don’t know who all reads Posted Note anymore. I don’t write here as much because when I’m happy it seems I have so much less to say. But if you are lonely, or tired, or if life has got you down… asking Jesus into your heart won’t immediately make all your problems go away. You may have heard that, but it is a lie. What is true though, what is a sweet reality is that with Jesus on your side you always win. There is a sweet peace that comes from knowing that God works all things out for good for those that love him and although it might not seem like it at the time when times are tough – he really is working behind the scenes making awesome things happen.

So if you don’t know Jesus. If you don’t have a personal relationship with him. If you have not encountered the love of God, then what are you waiting for? God wants to be part of your life. He created you to glorify him and Christ came that we might have life and have it to the full.

I love you and hope you are blessed.

Eddie

After working with Route 56 for the past 7 weeks I realize that the age of 11 and 12 is the end of that sweet and innocent era and the first buds of adolescent complexity. I’ve also come to find that there is a limited amount of information that is targeted toward this age group when it comes to Bible Studies and Bible Teaching in general.

So I’m asking you this question seriously, what exactly is targeted toward 5th and 6th grade boys and girls? Hannah Montana? High School Musical? Or are they already over that? It seems that these students are in that age where they are still wholly kids and at the same time smart enough that you can’t be too silly with them. So I’m learning the ropes and it can be quite frightening.

Every Sunday when I prepare my talk I’m humbled by how little I know. I have these great ideas and the more I dig for answers the more questions I find myself asking. Like who are the “Nephilim” mentioned in Genesis 6? And why are we teased with this supernatural nugget and then denied the dipping sauce? Can I get some more info please?

So what are my current needs? Prayer. Wisdom. Leaders. In that order.

I know God has me in this role for a reason and I’m almost always terrified for the first 6 months after starting a new job because I like to be supremely confident in my abilities, but thankfully I know the verse:

2 Corinthians 12:9 (New International Version)

⁹But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

So yeah, I’m weak, and God is going to rock it out.

I’m not sure of the spelling, but I did my best to reproduce it phonetically. “Hoopo Maino” was taught to us on a retreat probably 10 years ago. I don’t really remember the sermon, but the jist was that we sometimes have to bear up under pressure and that we are being squeezed like grapes in a wine press.

Right now I’m being squeezed, but only mildly. I’m under pressure with putting my house on the market and trying to get it ready all while being financially strapped. I’ve mixed paint colors to make them stretch and I’ve spent money that I didn’t have to get things done so my house will sell.

The house looks great, but my checkbook looks like a nightmare. I feel the weight of change bearing down on me and although times are hard now, it’s really nothing in the grand scheme of things.  When it comes right down to it, money problems aren’t so bad, I’ve got my health and good friends and the electricity is still running for now.

But the point of this Posted Note is not to talk about me, but to talk about Caden Miller. Cody and Amy Miller’s son is being tested for Cystic Fibrosis on Tuesday March 9, 2010 at 1 p.m.  I can’t imagine the kind of stress that would put on parents. I don’t have kids, but from what I’ve heard when you have a child of your own it opens up a new capacity for love that you didn’t know could exist.

Life is funny like that. It has a singular way of balancing things out. The greater the love, the greater the loss. The bigger the joy, the bigger the pain.

My heart hurts for Cody and Amy and for all parents who have to deal with sick children. I don’t know what it would be like not being able to fix something for them that is broken. Not to be able to take away their pain and to make their lives easy and blissful. But I don’t think God put us on this Earth to have easy lives. Easy would get boring after a while.

I’d like to think that I would have the courage to bear up under the pressure of a great adversity, but I don’t know what it would do to me. So far my biggest challenges in life have been to deal with personal struggles that really don’t amount to much more than me feeling sorry for myself at times and envious at others. Perspective can really make you feel ashamed of yourself.

If you have a moment, pray for Caden and the Miller family. I know that Cody is strong enough to face any adversity, but I’d rather he didn’t have to. Nope. I’d prefer that Caden be healthy and strong and happy for many years to come and I believe in healing and that God can make him healthy no matter what the outcome on Tuesday.

With Love,

Eddo