http://www.tampabay.com/features/humaninterest/article750838.ece
This story is heart-breaking and touching. It really puts things in perspective.
This story via www.dooce.com via www.kottke.org
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Category: Stories
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Lord, it’s the devil…
As we sat huddled up in the bathroom hiding, my mom would start singing a song, “Somebody’s knockin’ should I let him in, Lord it’s the devil, his name is Chuck Renz…”
My step-dad would pound on the door, but it was locked tight. I would peek under the door to see if I could see his shoes, yep, he was still out there. We’d stay in the bathroom for what seemed like an eternity. My step-dad wasn’t trying to hurt us, he wanted to tickle us. The strange thing, however, was that there was this mixture of real fear mingled with the excitement and dread.
My first full memory in life is one in which I am riding in a car and leaving home. For some reason there is a part of me that knows that this trip is different, that we won’t ever be going back.
We stop in front of a house, get out of the car and I traipse up the lawn in my underwear struggling to hold on to my green blanket. Inside the house there is a man sitting on a brown tweed couch. He smiles a big toothy smile that is wrapped in a foo man chu. He scares me. I poke my head out from under the blanket from time to time, but I’m frightened and the blanket is the only thing that I had making me feel secure. At the time I didn’t realize that this man would be my new dad. This man, whose face I remember perfectly clear, immediately replaced my biological father.
Before this point in my life I have very few memories. There are flashes of a house and my Aunt Ordelia who watched us. I remember her sleeping on the couch, her large black body just piled up and snoring. I remember the hair oil, the way it smelled, but I don’t remember my real dad at all whatsoever. There are no images of him holding me, no snippets of his voice, no lingering sense of his presence. It is a black hole that no matter how far I venture into I still come up empty.
My mom met my new dad at Jack-in-the-Box. She was only 23 and he was the manager. “I didn’t like like him at all at first, I thought he was a womanizer.” I remember my mother saying. “He would always come in and kiss all the women and they would be fawning all over him…”
The interesting thing about my step-dad is his ability to be two different people. Like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde he could flip a switch and become so very kind, but when he was upset he become something else altogether. He threatened once that if he found the kitchen counters dirty he would make us lick them clean. He never did, but I believed his threat.
Once I got whipped for letting the water run while I was washing dishes, without hesitation I got hit with the wire end of a fly-swatter, before I could even explain why the water was still running I felt the sharp sting of metal against my bare legs.
Sometimes, we would all get the silent treatment. The scraping sounds of forks on the plates was all that was heard at the dinner table. I hated these moments. Hated how unfair my dad could be and how unreasonable. I hated that my mother had to put up with it at times. it was like we could never be ourselves and that part of us was always hiding from him.
Over the years my step-dad and I have had a very rocky relationship. His quick temper and high-expectations made him nearly impossible to please. Now, we’ve overcome a lot of the past, I love him very much and we are close, but there are still doors shut tightly between us and I don’t know if I will ever be able to fully let him in.
“Somebody’s knocking should I let him in
Lord it’s the devil would you look at him
I’ve heard about him but I never dreamed
He’d have blue eyes and blue jeans”
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Attic Monkey
My new roommate and I are getting along swimmingly. I tell him to do stuff, and he does it. That is all that is necessary to make me happy. I like to shout at him, “Attic Monkey, put this in the attic!” He obliges and I hurl a banana at his head.
I’ve found other useful uses for him as well, Dish Monkey, Car Wash Monkey, Vacuum Monkey – the list goes on and on. I find anything that I want done, I add Monkey to it and it makes it sound less harsh when I am yelling at him from across the room.
Last week I got sick and without even asking Attic Monkey went to the store and got me some apple juice. Often times Attic Monkey has the dishes done or my laundry folded when I get home from work or a night out on the town.
Attic Monkey is also quite entertaining, he can sing and he rents movies and so I can yell out, “Dance Monkey, or Movie Monkey!!!” And be entertained instantly. All of this and he pays me to live there, it’s awesome. Right now Attic Monkey is on a diet and so I haven’t berated him into cooking me dinners yet and making me frozen banana margaritas, but that diet of his ends this week and so I’ll be shouting, “Dinner Monkey, make me a burrito!” any day now.
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Brain Storm Trooper
“What are we going to do for this year’s Diversity Fair Skit?” The question was asked of me the last two years and I immediately whipped into action. One of my strengths is Ideation and so immediately a plethora of ideas pop into my head. I’m imagining a group of people in fruit costumes, dancing bananas, grinding grapes, and lots of pop-locking in leotards. I imagine the music, the stage, and the crowds reaction all within about 30 seconds. Then I move on from musical to slapstick humor and then on to something clever and witty. I’m throwing out ideas and discarding them before others even have time to nod their heads yes or no. Sometimes it’s a gift, other times it’s a curse.
My first strength according to Marcus Buckingham’s Strengths Finder book is Activator – which means I like to get things started – not necessarily finished, but definitely started. I think all of my readers can attest to that. Do you remember the website www.photoresurrection.com? What about www.sobusobu.com? Or www.drunkenfiction.com? Now it’s www.brushandbarrel.com and all the while I haven’t firmly settled on any one task long enough to really get it going – but it was so exhilirating getting them started!
I think my dream job would be brainstorming creative ideas for companies. It could be any type of project and I would just come into the room and spit out 50 ideas or concepts in like 20 minutes and then I would leave and when the dust settled the people left in the room could determine what would actually work. My buddy Rondo often uses a term “Brain Storm Trooper” and I think that would be my job title. (BIG! There is a photoshop challenge for you right there!)
A strength that I would like to develop is Achiever. Achiever’s actually finish things instead of just starting them, but so far Activator has served me pretty well.
If you haven’t figured out your strengths by now then I don’t even know why you bother getting out of bed each day. Go buy the book and find out immediately! http://www.strengthsmovement.com/
For real, this book has changed my life.
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Streamlining is better than mainlining
My garage cleaned I started to get a high off of the ultra-streamlined organization. This could be a new addiction for me – Streamlining.
Yesterday I removed all the old clothes from my closets. I unpacked boxes that I had just shoved in a closet and trashed what was old and busted and then created a pile of stuff for a yard sale. I have a stack of DVD’s that I’ll probably sell because I never watch DVD’s anymore – ever. I don’t understand the fascination behind watching something I’ve already seen a couple of times – especially when there is so much more to watch!
I’ve already streamlined most of my bills and I need to make a couple of final tweaks and I won’t have to pay any bills manually anymore and I won’t have any cash coming out of my accounts for things that aren’t necessities – like Yoga, Massages, etc.
With everything that is going on in my life, I need to keep things simple. You get more done when you don’t have things holding you down. Removing the clutter and excess from my life is me taking one more step to better control my life and my future.