“For $500 what do Keggers. Sex. Drugs. Alcohol. Swear Words have in common?”
“All things Eddie jokes about but shouldn’t Pat”
“Correct!”
Recently a friend of mine called me and said, “I don’t know how to word this, but all your status updates on Facebook seem worldly.”
“Wha? Moi?”
The fact of the matter is that a while back I read John Eldridge’s book, “Wild at Heart” and he talked about being a man and how I shouldn’t feel the need to be some kind and soft man who just goes through life trying to please everyone. I took that to heart – fully.
My whole life has been nothing be a series of sugary sweetness, layered with sweet juju bees and sweet berry sprinkles on top. I have always been the epitome of “SWEET” and I was tired of it. I decided to kick my sugar habit and start being a little bit sour. I wanted to be more of who I really was and to not always be projecting this image of perfection.
This was good for me because: A. I’m not perfect and B. I needed to be more real. I feel like some Christians are a lot of talk and very little action and I didn’t want any part of that. And besides, while there are a myriad of scriptures about being nice and sweet and turning the other cheek, I decided that I could still do all of those things and be a little sour at the same time.
Here is where the creation of the new Eddie began. I desperately tried to recreate the image of myself while still maintaining my righteousness at the core. I think I succeeded, maybe too well. I realize that some of my closest friends might know that I am joking when I talk about smoking copious bags of weed and doing Keg Stands, but what about acquaintances or people who just happen along and read this blog? Is joking about those things really glorifying to God? Is there a way for me to be funny without the need to use “Shock” humor?
A quick inventory of my life often reveals too much about myself that I’d like to change and when I’m overwhelmed with a situation I can’t handle I don’t tackle it head on, instead I ignore it and hope that somehow it just resolves itself. Or at least that is how I used to go about huge obstacles. Now I try to see how I can micro-manage the problem and break it down in little bits and eventually resolve the issue over a long period of time.
But enough about that and back to the Gut check…
The thing is that lately my spiritual life has improved immensely. I’m reading my Bible almost daily and I’m loving it. But… I still have a hundred little areas marked on my report card with an “N” – Needs Improvement.
What I am happy about is that my friend actually had the courage to bring this area of my life to my attention. I was only marginally aware of the fact that my posts were becoming less and less Christian and I was quickly succumbing to the pull of popularity instead of trudging down the path of integrity.
So my apologies to you if I have led you astray with some of my inane ramblings. Know that my heart belongs to Jesus 100% and I seek only to glorify him. I may still fail, but that is my ultimate goal.
In His Grip,
Eddie Renz