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I'm Just Sayin

So I Keep My Mouth Shut Tight

For a while there I was going through a phase where I was talking a bunch. I was doing contract computer work at a nursing home with these women who loved to complain about everything and you can really get swept up in a whirlwind of whining.

Then I had a few normal life issues come along and the road got bumpy and I wanted to belly-ache some more and so I did. I used this website and Facebook and phone calls to friends and my mom and I griped and complained.

Now, I’m in a SHUT UP phase. If I haven’t called you in a while it’s because I don’t have anything good to say and you know that saying about not saying anything at all… so I’m not. I’m just keeping my mouth shut tight and listening more and trying to be positive.

My nature is to vent my frustration, but what of it? Does venting really help or does it merely fan the flames of discontent?

Sometimes I have legitimate problems that stress me out, but I am constantly finding more positive ways to deal with those problems. Instead of complaining, I read a book, or a go to the gym or I watch a Bible Study DVD. I’m learning to cope with silence, with being alone, with understanding the blessed peace and serenity in the small things in life and when I need to vent, I need to find ways to go about it that are constructive instead of just grumbling.

Love and Hugs to my readers.

Eddo

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Culture

This Kid is Awesome

This kid is really, really good. I mean his level of skill for his age is unbelievable. When you dance, you know how hard it is to balance and he copies moves from You Got Served almost exactly.

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I'm Just Sayin Relationships

I Love It and I Hate It

Things are going well in my life, but I’m alone too much. I wake up in the morning and think, “What will I do today?” Obviously that includes work and working out and some reading, but what else? Can I grab lunch with a friend? Dinner? If you add up a two hour lunch and a two hour dinner that still leaves twelve hours in the day. I work out for 2 of those hours, normally with friends, sometimes groups of people, but then I am still alone for 10 hours of the day.

I like alone time, but 6 days a week I find that I am trying to fill my days with more than just work, working out, and eating. However, I’m in the middle of reinventing myself both physically and professionally and so I don’t have the money or the time to start being overcommitted to other projects that don’t serve someone other than myself.

You see, that is the solution to my problem – getting out and helping others. But, sometimes that makes me more miserable than just sitting at home alone on my couch. I have to get out amongst the unwashed masses of society and get my hands dirty? Okay, maybe the people aren’t unwashed or in masses, but my hands, my CLEAN HANDS!!

Anywho, as soon as my clients start paying I’m going to book a shrink… I realize that is what shrinks are good for, you pay them to listen to you talk and once a week for 80 bucks you get to let go of every single mean, lustful, hateful, conceited, prideful, arrogant, humiliating thought that is constantly bouncing around in your head and they can’t tell anyone. It’s like going to a priest for confession, but better because it’s an hour long and then you leave an you without so much as a Hail Mary full of grace. Not that a good Hail Mary isn’t good every now and then…

So… here I am 33 and alone with so many friends that think I am just “So Fun!” and “Almost a Celebrity”, but who has reached a point in my life where I don’t want to go on living like this… or do I? I just don’t know. Maybe I’m in a transitional state that will just take some time to get used to. I mean, I am sitting on my couch working for hours on end and then I feel guilty for sitting at home. It’s weird. This house has become my home and my office and so I shouldn’t feel guilty about being here all day but after 33 years of working multiple jobs and being around people all the time then it’s hard to make this transition. I love it and I hate it.

And for those of you who would like to say, “Well, you really just need to get married and settle down” thanks for that little nugget of wisdom. Don’t think I haven’t tried and tried harder than you know since I only write about 60% of what really goes on in my life on this website. While I’m holding out for Mrs. Right I feel guilty for taking solace in the fact that many of my friends that got married when they were young are now getting divorced. I want to smugly say, “Well, I didn’t make that mistake!” But in reality I’m sad for them and for me because most of them are working on spouse number two while I’m still looking for number one.

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I'm Just Sayin

HGTV Design Star

dan_vickery_hgtvThis is one of my favorite shows of the summer. Do you watch it? My favorites are Dan Vickery and Antonio Ballatore. They seem to have the best design concepts, especially Dan, but I like Anotonio’s anti-designer look. He looks more like a bartender than a designer and should probably be on Sons of Anarchy instead of HGTV.antonio_hgtv

This is my only TV show highlight of the week other than Entourage.

I’m looking forward to So You Think You Can Dance this fall. I’m such a huge fan of that show not only for the dancers, but the judges and choreographers. Everyone is such a class act – especially Nigel Lythgoe. He is so much better than Simon Cowell at making a valid point without being insulting. That is the difference between Constructive Criticism and just plain Criticism. I even love Mary Murphy and her crazy hot tamale train. She annoys some people, but I prefer her Zany joy to Paula Abdul’s sugary sweetness.

Lastly, I’m also looking forward to Glee and Fame the Movie.  I think in some alternate universe I am a dancer. Not a 6′ 5″ guy with a lineman’s build.

What are you watching and what are you looking forward to this Fall?

Categories
Job Updates

Laid Off. Self-Employed. Entrepreneur.

I’m still adjusting to working for myself.

When I was laid off in January 2009 I didn’t know exactly what I was going to do with my life. Since I was 12 years old I have been working at some sort of job – for someone else. I always had dreams of owning my own business one day, but taking the giant plunge was just too scary.

In the Renz household you worked for a living – sometimes two or three jobs. Our motto was “If you want something, work for it.” That meant 2 a.m. paper routes, cleaning churches and schools, working for a horse ranch, being a bank teller, driving a special ed school bus, running the register at a gas station, cleaning houses, cleaning the post office, working for Boeing, Custom Food Group, Texas Instruments, Ericsson. Yep. Those are all the jobs that I have had and they weren’t short term, many of them I had for years and some of them I worked while working another job and going to school full-time.

So when I was suddenly out on the street looking for a job I decided that after doing all of those jobs and none of them being really what I wanted to do that I wasn’t going to take another job unless I really enjoyed doing it. So I’ve now been unemployed/self-employed for 7 months and I’ve been doing just fine on my own.

Now I still work 2-3 jobs to make ends meet, but they are things that I like to do and they have amazing flexibility that allows me to live a non-traditional life. I don’t work 9-5 days or 80 hour weeks. I don’t sit in traffic or rush through my lunch, but there are trade-offs as there are to everything in life.

I don’t have any co-workers and there isn’t much opportunity for advancement unless I bust my butt and make it happen myself. Clients don’t always pay on time or pay at all. I’m home alone a great deal of the time and that can get old.

But that upside is that being your own boss is the best thing in the world and worth every sacrifice. There is also the joy that comes from making it on your own. There is also that little twinge of fear that keeps you motivated to keep working hard and busting it so that you can still pay your bills.

If you are looking to start your own business then I say do it. Start small, start networking, get a website, do some small jobs to get your feet wet and start building your network of friends while you still have full time work. This is probably a good idea even if you don’t plan to start your own business.

And lastly, I never could have gotten to where I am today without the support of great friends and family. And if you are looking to keep up with more of my work life, then check out my business sites: http://www.soundandshow.com and http://www.eddierenz.com