Tonight I went into On The Border for dinner. When you are out of town on business it is always hard to figure out what you will do for dinner. I walked in to the rather uncrowded restaurant with it’s big chain feel and explosion of spanish color and felt alone and awkward. This doesn’t normally happen to me and so turned around and walked out.
I ventured further down the road and found a Casa Ole. This looked a little more independently owned and so I walked in with my head held high, book in hand, ready for some Mexican food.
“Just one?” The hostess said as she handed the menu to my waiter.
My waiter laughed and it prompted me to say, “Is something funny?” I felt a little perturbed because it was obvious that he was laughing about the fact that I was alone.
“Well, you are just the second guy in a row to come in and eat alone.”
“I don’t live here in Waco.” I replied, my voice stern. I don’t know why it annoyed me that he laughed. It was probably nothing, but for a moment I felt defensive, not for myself, but for all of the single people out there who get up and go it alone. We don’t have the commitment and responsibiities of married people, but often times we don’t have as much of a reason for living either.
I don’t have kids to feed or a wife to please, it’s just me and while this simplicity is bliss at times it is hell at others.
But I’m determined not to sulk or to get down on myself. Life is too short to whine about your circumstances, instead you have to do what you can to change them. I made this bed and I’m quite comfortable lying in it… even if for now it is all by myself.