Categories
I'm Just Sayin

Drive starring Ryan Gosling

You could almost feel the seconds tick by. Every scene seemed to be a still frame that drew you in. A momentary clip of art that was created to elucidate some feeling. This is Drive.

The movie itself seems to have very little to do with the actual act of driving. When I left the theater I really only remember one thing: Ryan Gosling’s smirk that seemed to hide something dark and sinister.

The soundtrack to the movie is haunting and brilliant. It moves you along as if you are floating weightlessly on a primordial ooze. It is sort of an aural marijuana the way it detaches you from reality and sets you adrift on a parallel universe.

Each step of this movie seemed so intentional. The pacing was achingly slow at times, but instead of feeling cumbersome, it drew you in, it pulled at you like a vortex or a black hole leaving your heart pounding and senses heightened.

Drive wasn’t so much a movie, but an experience.

This film was directed by  Nicolas Winding Refn.

Categories
God

Exchanging Truth for a Lie

I’m 35 years old now and I’m at the apex of my understanding of who God is and what my role is in this world. However, I still have this constant nagging temptation that sometimes I want to just chuck all of this truth and go out and party.

Each day I wake up and I try to read my Bible, pray and go through life pursuing God, but sometimes I feel that I fall short and even worse, I feel that God falls short too. There, I said it. Sometimes I feel that my relationship with God has been one-sided. Like that guy in the poem Footprints in the Sand I feel that God is absent in times that are hard.

At 35 I’m still a virgin. The idea of holding out until marriage is still a struggle. At times I don’t think that I’ll ever get married and the temptation to fulfill my need for intimacy in the arms of some stranger is often very intense. Am I to die without ever knowing physical intimacy? Can God fulfill that desire in my life? What kind of life is it that is always filled with sexual frustration and guilt for having lustful desires?

For me, I feel like an ex drug addict that is constantly tempted to fall back into the sweet lulling arms of co-dependence and shut out the world of reality.

For years I had excuses as to why I would submit to the desires of my flesh. I would make excuses to look at pornography, I would justify my behavior and I would wildly abandon my morality for the sake of momentary relief from the pressure of just being me. But when I feel lonely. When I am despairing, I remember that Christ was tempted too and I remember these truths:

  • Anonymous sex is not intimacy.
  • Living wildly like the prodigal son will not satisfy me, after I have broken down I know that I will be ashamed of myself. I will have regrets.
  • Everyone struggles with lust and temptation even when they are married.
  • I am not alone.
  • I am loved and needed and cherished.
  • Life is more about me serving others than meeting my own needs.
  • Because we live in a fallen world we will never be 100% happy with who we are.
  • Placing unrealistic expectations on yourself is a sure way to stay miserable
  • Learning to be content with how God made me takes time and is a ongoing process.
  • Running to things of this world for satisfaction is my way of telling God that he does not satisfy me. He is not enough. He does not complete me.
  • Feelings of inadequacy are lies from the devil.
  • Most of the time when I feel inadequate it is because I have taken my focus off of God and placed if on myself.

I went to a counselor for about a year when I was 30. It was the best money I ever spent. He told me to journal how I felt after I had fallen into temptation – meaning when I had looked at porn and the shame that I felt after. He said when I was tempted to read that. It is a good tool to keep you from falling.

I don’t know who all is reading this site anymore. I rarely update it, but my goal is to use my words to convey transparent truth about who I am and hopefully you can learn from my experience and my mistakes.

Categories
music

I’m Schoolin’ Life

It’s been a looong while since I’ve been this obsessed with a song. I think I’ve listened to it on repeat almost non-stop since I heard it on SYTYCD.

 

The Schoolin’ Life lyrics by Beyonce are displayed below.

This is for them 20 somethings
Time really moved fast, you were just sixteen
This is for them 30 somethings
That didn’t turn out exactly how your mom and dad wanted you to be
This is for them 40 somethings
Well raise up your glass and laugh like a…
This is for them 50 somethings
Hell, you’re halfway there, baby take it to the head

Mom and dad, tryna have a world
Said the world is just too big for a little girl
Eyes wide open, came to see
I had my first heels by the age of 13
Mom and dad, tryna have the boys
I swear that just made ’em want me more
At 14, they asked what I wanna be,
I said baby 21, so I get me a drink

I’m not a teacher, babe
But I can teach you something
Not a preacher
But we can pray if you wanna
Ain’t a doctor
But I can make you feel better
But I’m great at writing physical letters
I’m a freak, all day, all night
Hot, tap, sway
Boy your out of sight
And I’m crazy, all day, all night
Who needs a degree when you’re schoolin’ life

Oh oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh (x2)
Schoolin’ Life,
Oh oh oh oh oh oh woah oh oh (x2)
Schoolin’ Life

This is for them pretty somethings
Living in a fastlane, see you when you crash babe
This is for them sexy somethings
That body can’t always get ya out of everything
This is for them bitter somethings
Stop living in regret, baby, it’s not over yet
And this is for them ? somethings
Beyonce Schoolin’ Life lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com/beyonce-schoolin-life-lyrics.html

Beyonce Schoolin’ Life lyrics found on http://www.directlyrics.com/beyonce-schoolin-life-lyrics.html
That’s high old life, baby, put me on your flight

I’m not a teacher, babe
But I can teach you something
Not a preacher
But we can pray if you wanna
Ain’t a doctor
But I can make you feel better
But I’m great at writing these sick love letters
I’m a freak, all day, all night
Hot, tap, sway
Boy out of sight
And i’m crazy, all day, all night
Who needs a degree when you’re schoolin’ life

Schoolin’ life….oh oh oh….schoolin’ life….

You know it costs to be the boss
One day you’ll run the town
For now make your life what you decide
Baby, party til the fire mashes, shuts this sucker down

I’m not a teacher, babe
But I can teach you something
Not a preacher
But we can pray if you wanna
Ain’t a doctor
But I can make you feel better
But I’m great at writing these sick love letters
I’m a freak, all day, all night
Hot, tap, sway
Boy out of sight
And i’m crazy, all day, all night
Who needs a degree when you’re schoolin’ life

Schoolin’ life….oh oh oh….schoolin’ life….oh oh oh

There’s not a real way to live this…for real
Just remember stay….oh yeah, oh yeah
Don’t stop running until it’s finished
It’s up to you, the rest is unwritten

Categories
I'm Just Sayin Observations Technology

Search Engine Optimization

Recently I’ve been contacted by two clients who want to improve their ranking on Google. “How do we get on the first page of Google results?!” they asked. After taking a quick peek at their sites source code it was clear to see that they didn’t even have the foundational information for a high ranking on Google. As a matter of fact, they hadn’t even registered their URL’s, created a site map, or made sure that their site descriptions and meta data conveyed the right key word search information.

Did you know that:

1. Google has a lit of Webmaster Tools that will help you get your site indexed correctly?
2. You can register your site manually with most major search engines.
3. Social Networking does work wonders – Facebook, Linkedin, Google+, Twitter, Youtube, Vimeo, etc.
4. Using other sites to embed links for your site and keywords is very powerful.
5. Register your site with online services and directories like Linkedin and Yelp.
6. Once your site is setup correctly it still takes time for your site to move up in Google.
7. Updating your site with a blog is a good way to keep your rankings current and to increase your embedded key words.
8. Google actually has an adwords certification program to help you understand how to setup your adwords correctly.
9. Don’t just focus on 1 or 2 search engines. You may overlook valuable customers who don’t use Google and Yahoo.
10. You can use keyword phrasing in your pictures to increase keywords on your site.
11. Google Analytics are awesome, but so is Woopra: http://www.woopra.com/ Something I learned in accounting – you can only manage what you can measure.

These are just a few tips that will help get your site linked higher. When http://www.reiblaw.com, an attorney who specializes in family and divorce law in Denton, Texas asked me to look at his site I was so surprised at how little his site was setup correctly. Then another client, http://www.aaronstreeandfence.com asked me to setup his website and then later asked me to improve the SEO ranking. I told him that it takes about 10 hours to do the basic setup for a site SEO and then it is best to keep maintaining your site’s SEO by posting blogs, adding specials on Facebook and Twitter and embedding links.

Hopefully you find this information helpful and feel free to share your own tips and let me know if you are interested in link sharing: info at eddie renz dot com

 

Categories
Design Job Updates

Caney Creek Farm – Grass Fed Beef

I’m currently working on a Grass-Fed Beef website: http://www.caneycreekfarm.com

It is a simple site really with an integrated shopping cart but it has stumped me in terms of design. The client wants a mixture of rugged and organic and that has been a hard blend for me to do. When I think organic I think greens and orange and rolling hills and when I thing rugged or rustic then I think more barns and grunge textures. Either way I’ve come up with something right now that I like, but I still want to make more of the site. If you have any suggestions or some sites that you like that feature organic beef, then I’d love to hear your feedback.